The Queen of My Self

The Queen of My Self


Self-Care

posted by Donna Henes

January is Self-love month. And if it weren’t, I, Queen Mama Donna, would declare it so! So for the rest of the month I will focus on the ways that we can show love and support to ourselves.

There is only one person who is absolutely guaranteed to be with you loyally every day until you die. So you might as well live her! Will you join me in showering your Self with love starting right now?

 

Self-Care

By Mari Selby, VA   

Betty Friedan: “It’s easier to live through someone else than to become complete yourself.”

It’s in women’s genes how to spoon the medicine down gently, be tender with our touch, and listen with our whole bodies, not just our ears. We must become women who listen to our own needs and desires, and meet them with tenderness and grace. We deserve the tender touch, the listening ear and the gentle medicine. To be tender towards ourselves and learn self care is a great challenge for some souls. Maybe we are still enjoying the comfort of taking care of husband and children instead of being complete in ourselves? Maybe those of us who work on daily self-care, are also hungry to make a difference in our worlds? How are we tender towards ourselves while being fierce in our determination to stand up for ourselves? Who are our role models for creating a new story, a new balance of grace and wrath?

Daily self-care can be hard at first. The first step is defining both what we need and what makes us happy. When we have taken care of others for most of our lives, how do we know what we need? When we are asked what we want and we defer to someone else by saying, “whatever you want is fine with me” we cannot know what will make us happy. Defining what we need and what makes us happy is a process. We can begin the process of learning self-care through books, going to seminars, choosing different friends, attending 12 step programs or seeing a therapist. We don’t have to chart the way to self-care alone. We don’t have to jump into being spiritual activists; we can take time to nurture ourselves, time to give ourselves the listening ear, and the tender touch. That in of itself can be a radical act.

Learning to be a complete and whole woman has been my lifelong journey. I don’t know whether what I am doing is right; I only know what feels right in this moment. How I do self-care, listen to my intuition, and act creatively may look very different to you, the reader. I only know that the rage I feel towards injustice in the world only circles around and bites me in the ass. When I am enraged I become depressed and beat on myself, and then it takes time to come out of that hole. As part of my daily self-care I am learning to take my anger and transform it through creativity. I write poetry, blogs, and essays in an effort to distill words into the creative intelligence of wrath. Part of my daily lesson is to see that the more I am tender and respectful of myself, the easier it is for me to be creative.

We must find our way to be a woman who meets her needs with tenderness and grace. Fortunately we are not alone in this journey. Each day there are more women who want to feel complete, who are taking the first steps in learning self-care. We follow in the footsteps of friends who treat themselves tenderly. We are women treating ourselves with grace and respect while watching other women around us saying, “Now, that I can care for myself, I want to make a difference around me.” We can follow in the footsteps of the spiritual activists who have gone before us. Where are you in the process of learning self-care? Imagine yourself, today, a woman who treats herself with respect, tenderness, and grace.

*****

Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She is the Midlife Midwife™ offering counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.

 

 

 

 



Previous Posts

A Meditation on My Self
Soul searching, like the practice of any devotion, requires solitude, quiet and quality time. But life is hectic and our inner needs have often been relegated to the bottom of our endless to-do lists, our dreams and desires deferred, left on the back burner to simmer. Over a hundred years ago, Fl

posted 6:00:44am Jan. 28, 2015 | read full post »

Soup for the Soul
In the stark dark of the season in the dark of the long night we are compelled to turn inward toward the center. Drawn by an irresistible magnetic force, we are pulled inside of ourselves, inside of our homes, inside of our relationships for the comfort, warmth, love, safety and peace that we seek.

posted 6:00:34am Jan. 26, 2015 | read full post »

A Self- Esteem Exercise
by Madisyn Taylor Having low self-esteem is a common issue and with some introspection you can start to loosen the grip of this negative thought pattern. Our primary relationship in life is with our selves. No one else goes through every experience in life with us. We are our one permanent com

posted 6:00:12am Jan. 23, 2015 | read full post »

Empress Energy: Extending Our Influence Out Into the World
The Queen is a mature woman who has conquered the challenges in Her life and claimed Her own royal power. She cuts through fear and ambivalence, takes charge, and establishes Herself as the sole ruler of Her Self. She has struggled for Her transformation and has achieved it. Her proud potency is pal

posted 6:00:12am Jan. 21, 2015 | read full post »

Hero vs. Heroine
By Rosalie Maggio, CA www.rosaliemaggio.com The words "hero" and "heroine" convey subtle — and sometimes not so subtle-differences to a reader or an audience. We need to use "hero" for both men and women. In 1939, Amelia Earhart wrote, "No one can scan the shelves of teen-age reading matter wi

posted 6:00:41am Jan. 19, 2015 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.