The Queen of My Self

The Queen of My Self

Why Midlife Rocks Your World – Part 1


I have been inundated lately by articles about the so-called “Midlife Crisis.” Clearly it is subject very much on the minds of many, many women.

Mid Life Crisis: What is it? Is it inevitable? Is it even a real phenomenon? Or is it an invention of the media — that is, corporate advertising trying to sell us things we don’t need? (Not only do we not need these cosmetic and quasi-medical accoutrements, they are downright insulting and sometimes even dangerous.) 

These writings cover the gamut of opinions, ideas, and suggestions about coping with a Midlife Crisis, ours or someone else’s. I offer them up to you to for your interest and edification.

As always, I invite you to send me your stories — experiences, advice, and inspiration to share with our community of Midlife Queens.


Midlife Crisis or Midlife Consciousness? You choose!

xxQueen Mama Donna


Why Midlife Rocks Your World – Part 1

By Kathy Caprino

I was speaking today with a wonderful client of mine – let’s call her “Carol,” who shared a story about her views of midlife BEFORE she had arrived in midlife, and then what happened when her 40’s came.

She shared,

It’s funny – when I was my early 30’s, and I’d hear about someone having a ‘midlife crisis,’ I’d think to myself, “Wow, I don’t really get that.  I’m focused, doing what I need to, experiencing success, the kids are good, things are moving along well.  I can’t imagine waking up to wanting a whole new life or finding out that what I have I don’t want.”


But when I turned 43, something happened.  I awakened somehow – after a series of tough events and challenges — to wanting more, wanting different.  It’s like I suddenly saw my whole life differently through the eyes of a middle-ager.  The career I spent years rising to the top of, somehow lost its hold on me – it felt empty and unimportant, silly almost.  My relationship with my husband had some serious problems too over the years that took a terrible toll on me, but I never allowed myself to stop and look at that – I just powered through it all.

Now that my kids are older and I’m not needed in the same, day-to-day way, I find that I truly want a different life – a life that’s mine – based on what I value and what I love.  I don’t want to just push down what isn’t working.  I want to bring it out and resolve it, or let it go.


I get it now – a “midlife crisis” isn’t a cliché.  It’s real and it’s powerful.

Carol speaks for thousands of folks who’ve awakened in midlife to realizing that what they’ve created in their 20s and 30s just doesn’t fit who they’ve become.

Tomorrow: Why Midlife Rocks Your World – Part 2


Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She is the Midlife Midwife™ offering counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to





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