The Queen of My Self


I have been inundated lately by articles about the so-called “Midlife Crisis.” Clearly it is subject very much on the minds of many, many women.

Mid Life Crisis: What is it? Is it inevitable? Is it even a real phenomenon? Or is it an invention of the media — that is, corporate advertising trying to sell us things we don’t need? (Not only do we not need these cosmetic and quasi-medical accoutrements, they are downright insulting and sometimes even dangerous.) 

These writings cover the gamut of opinions, ideas, and suggestions about coping with a Midlife Crisis, ours or someone else’s. I offer them up to you to for your interest and edification.

As always, I invite you to send me your stories — experiences, advice, and inspiration to share with our community of Midlife Queens.

Midlife Crisis or Midlife Consciousness? You choose!

xxQueen Mama Donna

Thoughts on Midlife

By Terry Weber

The original intent of my blog was to share stories of living life more adventurously, and to inspire others to have more fun–especially those midlife folks who somehow lost themselves while raising children and making a living.

But just when is midlife? Average life expectancy in the U.S. is 78. So the halfway point is 39. Coincidentally, in the year preceding a person’s 40th birthday is when many mid-lifers begin questioning the quality of their own lives. However, it seems to me that mid-life is not just one year or one number. There are three general periods of life: the young years, the middle years, and the later years.

If we divide 78 by three, we end up with three stages of 26 years each:

* 0-26 Young years

* 27-52 Middle years

* 53-78 and beyond: later years

So you’re saying to yourself, “27 is middle-aged?”   Yes…if we divide these stages evenly. But we could look at it another way…

* 0-29 Young years

* 30-65 Middle years

* 66-78 and beyond: Later years

These numbers are presented merely to open a few eyes, when in fact, mid-life can be described as more of an attitude than a bunch of numbers. During mid-life, we gain an increasing awareness of our own mortality. We realize that someday we will not be on this Earth, at least not in the same form. We begin re-evaluating the decisions we made that created our current circumstances. Some parents, though they love their children, wonder why raising them was not as rewarding as once dreamt. We wonder why we never knew that relationships were complicated, sometimes hard work, and never like they describe in the fairy tales.

We wonder if there’s more to life than the jobs we tolerate– where we waste away for 40 hours a week just to make ends meet. We wonder if we had any impact in making the world  a better place? What goals were reached? And for some, we wonder about an afterlife…is there one? And will we be punished for our mistakes in the afterlife?

On a related note, I recently accepted a writing challenge. The challenge was to write a poem about midlife in less than 30 minutes—no rules—no matter how messy or “unprofessional.” My result is below.


They call it a midlife crisis

I call it an awakening

A realization

That we are more than halfway to Death’s Door

And we have not yet lived.


Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She is the Midlife Midwife™ offering counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™


The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to


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