I have been inundated lately by articles about the so-called “Midlife Crisis.” Clearly it is subject very much on the minds of many, many women.
Mid Life Crisis: What is it? Is it inevitable? Is it even a real phenomenon? Or is it an invention of the media — that is, corporate advertising trying to sell us things we don’t need? (Not only do we not need these cosmetic and quasi-medical accoutrements, they are downright insulting and sometimes even dangerous.)
These writings cover the gamut of opinions, ideas, and suggestions about coping with a Midlife Crisis, ours or someone else’s. I offer them up to you to for your interest and edification.
As always, I invite you to send me your stories — experiences, advice, and inspiration to share with our community of Midlife Queens.
Midlife Crisis or Midlife Consciousness? You choose!
xxQueen Mama Donna
MidLife Crisis: Life Renewed
By Amy Sherman
When do the trials and tribulations of everyday life turn into a midlife crisis and how do you know you are in it? Good question. It really depends on the degree to which you feel you can handle it. How deep is your inner dissatisfaction? How much has your self-esteem and confidence affected your ability to function? How often do you second-guess your choices? What’s causing the confusion about who you are or where your life is going?
A true midlife crisis may take years to resolve and you may feel helpless, disappointed, distressed, entrapped or even just bored. Sometimes you think it’s easier to hold on to your “youth” and just ignore the changes. Getting past the crisis is difficult because it takes much insight, patience and strength to do something about it.
You may be aging, but it doesn’t mean you’re getting old. Midlife is an exciting time. According to Marianne Williamson, “What we have called middle age need not be seen as a turning point to death. It can be seen as a magical turning point to life as we’ve never known it, if we allow ourselves the power of an independent imagination.”
With children older or out of the house, you have the opportunity to spend time on things you most enjoy. Make it a fun time of your life. Even though the crisis is bound to transform you, you will also be transforming what it means to go through midlife. Therefore, set new goals and develop new hobbies. See, explore and discover who you are now. It’s a time for rebirth and renewal. Re-examine your past choices and commitments and revise them into an exciting and different journey ahead. Refocus your time and energy on doing new things that are more important to you, like going back to school or planning an adventurous vacation.
Here are some things you can ask yourself to be sure you are heading in the right direction:
1. Are my thoughts directed on lifelong learning and personal growth?
2. Can I maintain my sense of purpose and be driven to fulfill a certain goal or passion?
3. Do I believe that everything happens for a reason and that I can learn from my mistakes?
4. Do I believe that life is to be lived and that I am entitled to live it through fun and frivolity?
5. Am I attuned to my body so that I practice healthy eating and exercise routines?
6. Do I feel younger than my chronological age and enjoy being around people younger than I am?
7. Can I rely on others to help me get through difficult times that are causing a lot of stress?
8. Do I believe that every year I am getting better and better?
9. Am I able to enjoy a healthy and hearty sense of humor?
10. Am I able to pace myself and find time to smell the roses?
When faced with approaching changes, you need to remind yourself of how well you’ve done before, handling previous crises. You may think you don’t have the strength or the endurance to deal with things this time, but you do. Part of the universal lesson in all this, is knowing that you CAN handle most anything and that things will get easier as time goes on. Shakespeare said, “This, too, shall pass” and it will.
It takes courage and work to face the changes at this stage of your life, but the ultimate result is something extraordinary. You will find that the journey is wonderful and that it reveals a new expression of yourself that embraces your giant leap into living the rest of your life.
Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She is the Midlife Midwife™ offering counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™
The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to firstname.lastname@example.org.