The Queen of My Self

The Queen of My Self


I have been inundated lately by articles about the so-called “Midlife Crisis.” Clearly it is subject very much on the minds of many, many women.

Mid Life Crisis: What is it? Is it inevitable? Is it even a real phenomenon? Or is it an invention of the media — that is, corporate advertising trying to sell us things we don’t need? (Not only do we not need these cosmetic and quasi-medical accoutrements, they are downright insulting and sometimes even dangerous.)

These writings cover the gamut of opinions, ideas, and suggestions about coping with a Midlife Crisis, ours or someone else’s. I offer them up to you to for your interest and edification.

As always, I invite you to send me your stories — experiences, advice, and inspiration to share with our community of Midlife Queens.


Midlife Crisis or Midlife Consciousness? You choose!

xxQueen Mama Donna


Midlife is No Crisis for Today’s Women – Part 2

By Judith Reichman, MD

Making Healthier Choices

Shifting attitudes about improving their health are common in women over 35. Many are taking steps to maintain a healthy lifestyle. The new survey showed that more than three quarters of women in this age group are now more conscious of what they put into their bodies. Most are paying closer attention to food ingredients, eating more fruits and vegetables and taking vitamins more regularly. Uninterrupted and adequate sleep now becomes possible as they no longer party until the wee hours, wake up for 2 AM feedings or wait up for the teen to come home…so finally almost half the women report that they are getting enough sleep!


Get the Most out of Midlife

If you have not already joined the ranks of women enjoying midlife, here are 10 ways to get the most out of these years:

1. Don’t obsess about those 8 glasses of water each day, drink when you are thirsty and/or when you are exercising vigorously…Too much water reduces the impact of electrolytes and strains the bladder.

2. Focus on family bonding…Often midlife crises for women are not an age phenomenon but rather due to the very significant changes that occur in the lives of our growing-up children and our maturing (we hope) partners.

3. Spend more time with your partner. Don’t wait until the nest is already empty. This is the time to rediscover why you fell in love in the first place.


4. Rev up the love life…with children sleeping through the night – or perhaps even moving out – the midlife woman and her spouse should enjoy a renewed sex life – whenever. Remember you are now also free to go on dates with your partner….real dates!

5. Periodically reevaluate your choice of contraception…the second-highest rates of unplanned pregnancies occur in midlife! This is not the time to find yourself accidentally in a family way unless that is what you intended.

6. Worry more about you…PMS gets worse with age, and work and family responsibilities continue to rise, so it is important to establish de-stressing routines, including setting aside time to exercise and visit with friends.

7. Cut down on salt, reduce your caloric intact by 100 – 200 calories per day and boost your calcium and Vitamin D intact…By midlife, most of us are high-risk for hypertension and heart disease, and cutting salt can save your life and set up your family for healthy habits as they get older.


8. Embrace your desire to sleep…Now is the time to develop good sleep habits to prepare you for the next stage of life as hormonal changes during menopause increase sleep disturbances.

9. Do something you thought you would never have time for – take up a new hobby or go back to something you love – knitting, dancing, learning, volunteering – all that matters is that it makes you feel good about yourself.

10. See your doctor. You have always made sure everyone else in the family gets a yearly check-up – but what about you? Schedule those yearly health screenings and don’t neglect your own health.


Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She is the Midlife Midwife™ offering counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to



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