The Queen of My Self

The Queen of My Self


Getting Rid Of

posted by Donna Henes

 

I see “Begin Again” as an ideal theme for this season. We have the supreme opportunity now in the autumn of our midlife to begin again. How shall we reinvent our Selves? What new programs, projects and passions are on the horizon for us? Please send me your stories of change, transition, and transformation. Our shared experiences serve to inspire and empower us all.

This amazing poem is from a Queen-in-progress right here in Exotic Brooklyn.

Please keep your fine and inspiring stories coming!

Thanks.

xxQueen Mama Donna

 

 

Getting Rid Of

By Sharon Mesmer, NY

if I’m not going

to live like this

anymore I must will

every cell to stand away

— CA Conrad

 

To remove

To chuck

To discard

To cast aside

To cast away

To throw away

To toss, fling, dispose

To slough off

comb out

weed out

To cull

To dump

To ditch, defat, degrease, delocalize, kern, pith, scum, prune

To abrogate

To remove unwanted elements

 

But what unwanted elements?  I’ll tell you …

 

FearWorryFearWorryFearWorryFearWorryFearWorryFearWorryFearWorry

CheckingCheckingCheckingCheckingCheckingCheckingChecking … For Infection

Did I Cause It?  Will I Cause It?  Did I Cause It?  Will I Cause It?  Did I, Will I, Did I, Will I??

Poor Me Poor Me Poor Me Poor Me Poor Me Poor Me Poor Me Poor Me Poor Me

Got Lost in the Past Got Lost in the Past Got Lost in the Past Got Lost in the Past

Wondering Why Me Why Me Why Me Why Me Why Me Why Me Why Me Why Me

Oh, Me: Whiney — WhiningWhiningWhiningWhiningWhiningWhiningWhiningWhining

Why Can’t It Be This Way, Why Can’t It Be That Way, Why Can’t It Be This Way, Why Can’t It Be

THAT WAY — THAT WAY: MY WAY MY WAY MY WAY MY WAY MY WAY —

(and I don’t even know what that way is, really, except for … )

Has To Be Now / Have To Know Now / Has To Be Now / Have To Know Now /

Has To Be — Has To Have — Has To Know … NOW

WHY?

No Faith No Faith No Faith No Faith No Faith No Faith No Faith No Faith No Faith No Faith

No Trust, No Confidence — No Trust, No Confidence — No Trust, No Confidence, Despite Evidence

TO THE CONTRARY

And even now:

BEATING MYSELF UP BEATING MYSELF UP BEATING MYSELF UP BEATING MYSELF UP

Wondering, why can’t I be like my friend, who said about her husband’s illness:

He’s slowly getting better, but he’s not the person he was. And may never be again.

Life.

Oh well.

Let me know how it goes with you.

 

What do I really want to get rid of?

This inability to be happy with who I am and where I am

this

very

moment

Because I know

I will look back on all this

in ten years

with fondness.

And smile.

*****

Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She is the Midlife Midwife™ offering counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

***

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.

 

 



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