The Queen of My Self

The Queen of My Self

A Birthday Declaration of Independence – Part 2

I see “Begin Again” as an ideal theme for this season. We have the supreme opportunity now in the autumn of our midlife to begin again. How shall we reinvent our Selves? What new programs, projects and passions are on the horizon for us? Please send me your stories of change, transition, and transformation. Our shared experiences serve to inspire and empower us all.


xxQueen Mama Donna


A Birthday Declaration of Independence  – Part 2

By Lilamayi, CA

So what I’m proposing is that we stop attaching any ignorant limiting ideas onto our self worth because they are spiritually unhealthy and aging. It is important to see our essential radiance and beauty as something infinite and not finite. Imagine what a change it would make in how people felt and looked if they uprooted those limiting fearful beliefs that have been programming their minds and bodies for centuries.


On a spiritual path we are here to come more and more into the glory of our divine essence, which is infinitely beautiful and makes our bodies healthier and more radiant.  The great sage, Osho had this to say:

“When man gets old he becomes ugly. The animals in the jungle do not become ugly but remain as beautiful as when young. So also the trees, though some are a thousand years old and near death, there is not a grain of difference in their beauty. Old trees become more beautiful. Old lions become yet more majestic. Man becomes ugly because he becomes tired. The trees do not fight existence; they keep their sails wide open, and they are happy wherever the wind takes them. You are fighting existence; therefore you break. You become old and decrepit because your life is one long struggle.


When you were small children you compromised. You sold your being. For nothing… For small things you have lost your soul. You have agreed to be somebody else other than yourself; that is where you missed your path. The mother wanted you to become somebody, the father wanted you to become somebody, the society wanted you to become somebody; and you agreed. By and by you decided not to be yourself. And since then you have been pretending to be somebody else. You cannot mature because that somebody else cannot mature. It is false. If I wear a mask, the mask cannot mature. It is dead. My face can mature, but not my mask. And only your mask goes on aging. Behind the mask, hiding, you are not growing. You can grow only if you accept yourself — that you are going to be yourself, nobody else. The rosebush has agreed to become an elephant; the elephant has agreed to become a rosebush.”


So in celebrating our birthdays, I propose that we celebrate our birth and rebirth in each new moment. For my next birthday, I will be zero years old. That is the truth of who we are in each new moment. Anything is possible. That is something to celebrate!


Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She is the Midlife Midwife™ offering counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity.



The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to






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