Advertisement

The Queen of My Self

The Queen of My Self

Have a Love Affair with Your Self

 

It is summer, hot and horny, and I am on a roll. So I am going to continue this theme of beauty, attraction, seduction, sex, love and self-love until I run out of content — or steam, whichever comes first.

 

The Queen heartily suggests that you have a love affair with your Self.

* Get to know your Self

Acknowledge your thoughts and feelings, your fears and fantasies. Spend some quality time alone together — just you, yourself, and you. Turn off the computer, the phone, the fax, and the TV. Put on your favorite music, or simply savor the silence. Entertain a program of non-directed Self-discovery. Stare out the window or into a candle flame or a mirror. Clear your mind of inner chatter and let it wander where it will.

 

* Take interest in your Self

Engage in projects of Self-expression in order to reconnect with your higher nature and your inner best Self. Do an exercise tape. Go for a run, walk, swim, or bike ride. Read your Tarot cards. Consult the I Ching. Do yoga. Meditate. Drum, chant, dance. Write in your journal. Transcribe your dreams. Create an altar. Paint a picture or your walls. Sing silly songs. Have a good cry. Pound on pillows and scream. Laugh out loud.

 

* Please your Self.

Work at establishing a warm, rich atmosphere for your own physical comfort and aesthetic enjoyment. Indulge in a variety of sensory delights. Surround yourself — your body, your home, and to whatever degree possible, your office — with the colors, textures, sounds, and smells that you love and that express your personality. Light candles and incense.

 

* Court your Self.

Get all dressed up purely for the fun of it. Take yourself on a dream date. Go somewhere you have been meaning to go. Do things that you love. Buy yourself special treats. Compliment yourself, applaud and appreciate your strength and your beauty. Whisper sweet somethings in your ear. Tickle your fancy. Pull down the shades, turn off the lights, and dance till you drop. Massage your body with sweet oils. Kiss yourself. Masturbate. Make yourself a marvelous breakfast in the morning. Send yourself flowers with a note saying, “I love you.”

These exercises in Self-appreciation and affection are not meant to seal ourselves off from others forever, or to replace any current or future relationships, but to make sure that we do not get involved for the wrong reasons — out of fear or desperation. We emerge from these Self-love exercises with the secure knowledge that we are our own best lover. And when and if we choose, we are able to share that love with someone special who will understand how precious it is and return it in kind.

****

Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She is the Midlife Midwife™ offering counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.

 

 

 

 

Previous Posts

Life Begins at 42
Saint Hildegard’s Guide to Becoming a Midlife Powerfrau By Mary Sharratt We live in a youth-obsessed culture. The cosmetic industry pushes wrinkle creams and hair dye on us while celebrities resort to Botox and surgery to preserve an illusion of eternal girlhood. We live longer than ever befo

posted 6:00:00am Mar. 27, 2015 | read full post »

De Sancta Maria
Hail to you, O greenest, most fertile branch! You budded forth amidst breezes and winds in search of the knowledge of all that is holy. When the time was ripe your own branch brought forth blossoms. Hail greetings to you! The heat of the sun exudes sweat from you like the balsam’s perfume.

posted 6:00:55am Mar. 25, 2015 | read full post »

Nature, Our Mother
In the beginning, there was woman. And she was versatile. She breathed, she stretched, she strode, she sat, she foraged, she trapped, she planted, she cooked, she ate, she bled, she danced, she laughed, she slept, she dreamed, she played, she prayed. She made art, she made ceremonies, she made love,

posted 6:00:25am Mar. 23, 2015 | read full post »

Spring Cleaning
Happy Spring! In winter, we spend inordinate amounts of time inside, dwelling, stewing, stagnating in enforced inactivity. When our hibernating energy finally re-awakens in the spring, it is with a pronounced case of morning breath. After the dust, the must, the rust of winter, a thorough spring

posted 6:00:14am Mar. 20, 2015 | read full post »

Friends for Life
I love working and playing in groups of women. I was never in a college sorority, so my first experience was in the feminist consciousness-raising group that I joined in the late 1960s. And what an eye-opening, empowering experience it was. We were a very diverse group brought together by our Boh

posted 6:00:39am Mar. 18, 2015 | read full post »

Advertisement


Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.