Advertisement

The Queen of My Self

The Queen of My Self

Learning to Love Yourself – Part 3

 

It is summer, hot and horny, and I am on a roll. So I am going to continue this theme of beauty, attraction, seduction, sex, love and self-love until I run out of content — or steam, whichever comes first.

Several women have written in with ideas and suggestions for loving our Selves. Here is another one in three parts.

 

Learning to Love Yourself – Part 3

By C. Rainfield, Ontario

* Recognize Self-Critical Messages — and Talk to Them

It’s easy to let old, critical voices and messages that we heard as a child play over and over in our minds, without stopping them. Often we may barely recognize that they are there, or we don’t really listen to them, we’ve heard them so often — but they continue to impact how we feel and think about ourselves.

Advertisement

Try noticing next time you hear a small (or very loud) voice inside your head criticize you. Be aware of what it is saying to you, and try to talk to it. Ask it why it feels it needs to say those things. Is that part of you trying to protect you, in some child-like logic? Or perhaps that part of you felt it had to take on the messages you heard as a kid. Remind that part of you that you no longer need to do that to survive. You are free to make up your own mind about yourself.

* Counteract Negative or Critical Thoughts About Yourself

Write down all the negative or critical thoughts and messages you hear inside your head. See if you can figure out who first said them to you (or said something of that nature). Then write out a response that counteracts each of those messages, one by one. Make the counter messages as strong and loving as you can.

Advertisement

If you’re having trouble writing out counter messages, see if you can connect to a deep, wise part inside of you. Or write out what you would say to a friend if a friend said those things about her/himself.

* Do Comforting and Nurturing Things For Yourself

Allow yourself to do comforting and nurturing things for yourself. Let yourself feel how good you feel when you do those things — and tell yourself that you deserve to feel that way, to feel good. Gradually you’ll find that the more nurturing and comforting times you have, the more you’ll seek them out — and they will help build a good feeling inside you.

* Ask Yourself What You Need to Do

Some of these things will work really well for you, while others may not quite fit you. So try taking a moment to get quiet, and ask yourself, “What can I do to help myself feel more compassion and love toward myself?” Don’t force an answer — just let the answer bubble up from inside you. If you find it hard to hear the answer that way, try writing out your question, and then your answer. See what you come up with. You know best what works for you — and you have great wisdom inside you.

Advertisement

Above all — have compassion for yourself and for where you’re at. Remember that you are a truly loveable person — and that you deserve only kind treatment, especially from yourself. :)

*****

Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She is the Midlife Midwife™ offering counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

***

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.

 

 

 

Previous Posts

Mom Dreads
By Tracey Barnes Priestley For the Times-Standard Dear Tracey: My only child leaves for college in a few weeks. I couldn't be happier for her. She has worked hard in school and is going off to the college of her choice. But my heart is ...

posted 6:00:37am May. 26, 2015 | read full post »

Witness
By Shiloh Sophia McCloud Inside of you 
is radiant luminous code. 
Ciphers ripe for deciphering. 
This seeing is what I came here for. 
Some might call me an artist, 
and a poet if they favor me. 
I am merely a witness 
to your ...

posted 6:00:42am May. 22, 2015 | read full post »

Be A Queen: Own Your Power And Glory
Be a queen. Dare to be different. Be a pioneer. Be a leader. Be the kind of woman who in the face of adversity will continue to embrace life and walk fearlessly toward the challenge. Take it on! Be a truth seeker, and rule your domain, ...

posted 6:00:49am May. 20, 2015 | read full post »

Baby Boomers War Against Aging
By Dr. Glenda Smith Have you noticed lately? There are too many of them to count… “Baby Boomers.” Nearly 78 million of them can be found in this country, to be exact. This figure is not to be taken lightly, as it constitutes about ...

posted 6:00:41am May. 18, 2015 | read full post »

The Queen's Clothes - Part 2
.....Continued from Wednesday's Post of Part 1.... When I was really young I made all the clothes for my paper dolls, eschewing the ready made ones that you were supposed to cut out. I also made clothes for my other dolls from my mother's rag ...

posted 6:00:11am May. 15, 2015 | read full post »

Advertisement


Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.