The Queen of My Self

The Queen of My Self

Anoint Your Self for Pleasure


It is summer, hot and horny, and I am on a roll. So I am going to continue this theme of beauty, attraction, seduction, sex, love and self-love until I run out of content — or steam, whichever comes first.

For some women, the noticeable reduction in vaginal fluid during menopause is a sexual deterrent as it may take longer to become aroused and penetration may become irritating. But a little dryness down there doesn’t stop the lusty Queen. That’s why the Goddess invented cocoa butter.

Unguent and lotions and moisturizing potions are really quite sexy. Experiment with commercial lubricants or try rubbing yourself with some honey, fragrant coconut cream, almond, walnut, avocado, or olive oil, sweet Danish butter, molasses, chocolate syrup, or whatever tickles your fancy. Think of it as a way of blessing yourself with the power of your own pleasure.




Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She is the Midlife Midwife™ offering counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity.  Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™


The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to





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