Advertisement

The Queen of My Self

The Queen of My Self

Loving Our Bodies

 

It is summer, hot and horny, and I am on a roll. So I am going to continue this theme of beauty, attraction, seduction, sex, love and self-love until I run out of content — or steam, whichever comes first.

 

Lately, like many of you, I have been waging an assault on clutter. I have been digging into the recesses of my closets, drawers and shelves and tossing, recycling and reclaiming my possessions. During this frenzy I came upon some old photograph albums and took a break to sit down with them.

I sorted through pictures that I had not seen in decades and to my shock and delight, I discovered that I was quite a good looking young woman.

Who knew? Not me. I was never happy about my appearance. Never satisfied with my face and body. Would that I had that strong, supple, sexy body now.

Advertisement

What a waste!

This is nothing new, of course. In my experience most women don’t see and appreciate their own beauty. There is always something to complain about. To fret over. To work on.

The Dove® Soap Company has a wonderful program called Dove® Movement for Self-Esteem. Their slogan is, “Imagine a world where beauty is a source of confidence, not anxiety.”

They recently funded a study called “The Real Truth About Beauty: Revisited.” The research found that:

Only 4% of women around the world consider themselves beautiful (up from 2% in 2004).

Only 11% of girls globally are comfortable using the word beautiful to describe themselves

72% of girls feel tremendous pressure to be beautiful.

Advertisement

70% of  girls believe they are not good enough or do not measure up in some way, including their looks, performance in school and relationships with friends and family members.

57% of all girls have a mother who criticizes her own looks

67% of girls ages 13 – 17 turn to their mother as a resource when feeling badly about themselves compared to 91% of girls ages 8 – 12

80% of women agree that every woman has something about her that is beautiful but do not see their own beauty.

More than half (54%) of women globally agree that when it comes to how they look, they are their own worst beauty critic.

How sad is that? And how stupid given the overwhelming number of beautiful women and girls on every corner in every country.

Advertisement

I serendipitously found the following quote in the fabulous book, Pigs in Heaven by Barbara Kingsolver:

“When I was in my thirties, I had these little square hips left over from being pregnant and I just hated it. I kept thinking, ‘All those years before, I had a perfect glamour-girl body, and I didn’t spend one minute appreciating it, because I thought my nose had a bump in it.’ And now that I’m old, my shoulder hurts and I don’t sleep good and my knuckles swell up, and I think, ‘All those years in my thirties and forties I had a body where everything worked perfect. And I didn’t spend one minute appreciating it because I thought I had square hips.’”

So, sister Queens, let’s start making lists of what we love about ourselves, our appearance, our personality, our presence. Let’s make really long lists.

Advertisement

What do you love about you?

*****

Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She is the Midlife Midwife™ offering counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity.

Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™: http://www.donnahenes.net/queen/consult.shtml

***

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.

 

 

 

 

Previous Posts

Learning to Approve of Me
  By Joyce Rothman Low self esteem and the desperate need for approval has plagued me since childhood. Never thinking I was enough, surely everyone else knew better than me what I should do or how I needed to act. Or so I ...

posted 6:00:51am Sep. 02, 2015 | read full post »

Cherish Yourself
By Michelle Morris Spieker Roles in society are expanding more and more. We strive to accomplish, manage, organize, direct, and star -- all in an attempt to make our lives richer, fuller, more meaningful. Yet as we look outward for ...

posted 6:00:13am Aug. 31, 2015 | read full post »

A Revelation
  By Alicia Keys For as long as I can remember, I've hidden myself. It might have started in school when I realized that I caught on to things a little quicker, and teachers started to show slight favor to me, or use me as an ...

posted 6:00:40am Aug. 28, 2015 | read full post »

A Matter of Choice
  by Joan Chittister Most of us know when we’re at a crossroad in life, when old answers have gone dry, when our souls have gone dry here, when nothing but another choice is possible. Then come the struggle and the dickering, the ...

posted 6:00:36am Aug. 26, 2015 | read full post »

Peace in Hot Times
For those of us in the Northern Hemisphere, summer is sizzling at its most intense in August. This period is referred to as The Dog Days of Summer. Though named after the Dog Star, Sirius, this is the weather when, according to Noel Coward, only ...

posted 6:00:32am Aug. 24, 2015 | read full post »

Advertisement


Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.