The Queen of My Self

Believe in Yourself! A Self-Care Strategy – Part 2
By Cheryl Saban, Ph.D, CA

How do you start believing in yourself when you’re so used to being a non-believer? How do you begin to care about being you, if you’ve become habituated to feeling so hopeless, or helpless that you project the message that you don’t care at all? The short answer is, by taking personal responsibility for doing so. Class dismissed.

Okay, so perhaps it’s not that easy. And it would be truly disingenuous of me to trivialize the difficulties many people face – and that is not my goal. Still, those who study happiness state that the only way to be truly happy, is to decide to be happy. It starts with you – your own perceptions of you, your abilities, and your potential. Actually, nobody else can truly devalue you, but you.

This power is entirely yours, and is manifested by an attitude you come up with in your own mind. You can thank Victor Frankl, among others, for proving this. Dr. Frankl was a holocaust survivor who realized during his captivity in Auschwitz that the only thing his captors couldn’t take from him was his mental life – his spiritual life. He was able to find meaning even in the most painful of situations. Though this is perhaps an extreme example, you can try to follow his lead. Choose your thoughts – change your attitude, and decide to believe in yourself. You’ll soon attract a happier experience into your personal universe and feel energized with a sense of freedom and independence.

Belief in yourself may begin as a small light at the end of a tunnel – a glow, a feeling of hoping, and then knowing. It’s an awareness that though you can’t change any of the facts of your life, you can change the way you think about those facts.

Once you have the attitude that you’re worth the effort, you’ll find it easier to start taking care of you. Eat responsibly, treat your mind and body to regular exercise and take time to enjoy nature, and breathe fresh air. Listen to soothing music, read interesting books, take warm baths, listen to the sounds of nature, and laugh belly laughs. Cuddle up with someone you care about, get and give plenty of hugs, compassion and empathy, and honor and treasure your family members. These are all important activities for wellness.

Remember that your body is a temple, and you are a treasure. You are unique, precious, and one-of-a-kind. Believe that you have a right to be here; that you are worth the effort of saving, educating, healing, playing with, working with, loving, and sharing a lifetime with.

Say the following words like a mantra. “I believe I am worth believing in.” Say these words every day. You’ll be amazed how the universe will contrive to make it so.

* Please send me your thoughts about power. Also stories of your own empowerment. When shared, these ideas and examples are extremely inspiring to others. Thanks.

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to

Queen Mama Donna offers upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity.

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