The Queen of My Self

We had a week’s worth of posts about Self-love, and now I would like to return to our previous discussions about women’s relationship to power. The letters and articles have been pouring in and it is my honor to share with you the thoughts, experiences and wisdom of our sister Queens.

Please send me your thoughts about power. Also stories of your own empowerment. When shared, these ideas and examples are extremely inspiring to others. Thanks.

Believe in Yourself! A Self-Care Strategy – Part 1
By Cheryl Saban, Ph.D, CA

Are you one of your biggest fans? Do you think you’re capable and worthy? Would you pick yourself to be on your team? If you answered ‘no’ to any of the above questions, you could use an attitude change and a healthful infusion of personal esteem.

Self-esteem is described as confidence in one’s own worth or abilities, and pertains to a personal appraisal of ourselves. Yet, unfortunately, we often make this evaluation based on cues we receive from society. In other words, we look to others to establish who we are, how we should behave, and how we’re valued, even though this societal reflection won’t be an accurate indicator of what you’re made of.

Trying to measure up to a dominant mindset, antiquated cultural rules, or stigmatizing stereotypes that don’t serve you well isn’t the best plan. Using such subjective measuring devices may also explain why you don’t always feel like a good fit. Bottom line, try not to rely totally on the outside world to validate you. A better option is to equalize the playing field by believing in, and validating yourself.

By the way, if you’re concerned about spending too much time and effort on numero uno, try remembering that you can’t be of great help to others if you don’t care much about yourself. Believing in yourself doesn’t mean you’re conceited, overly self-centered, or narcissistic. It’s simply part of an overall self-care strategy for wellness and contentment. It means that you recognize the true who of you – your core being, the special present of your presence – in other words, your innate worth.

Belief in yourself isn’t just a good thing to do; it’s a survival skill. And giving yourself a pat on the back for being a sentient being with ability, heart, potential, and immeasurable possibilities, is directly related to your quality of life. You need to feel worthwhile. You need to believe that you can affect circumstances and situations in your life in order to have the confidence and courage you’ll need to meet the many challenges you face.

Tomorrow:  Believe in Yourself! A Self-Care Strategy – Part 2

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to

Queen Mama Donna offers upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity.

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