The Queen of My Self

This week I am offering my own sensual, sexual experiences as Maiden, Mother, Queen and Crone-to be.

Red Hot Queen Mama

The more competent I became in navigating and negotiating the maze of my life, the more practiced and commanding, the more self-assured I became. Feeling sure of yourself is the ultimate turn on — inside and out. It is more effective in its power of seduction than the finest cosmetic, the most expensive elixir in the world. Loving yourself is like wearing the most potent perfume.

I first noticed my new effect when I started to get wolf whistles from construction crews and guys in passing cars. Each time it happened, it shocked me deeply. What in the world? I am old enough to be their mother, grandmother, maybe. I thought that those kinds of experiences were long over for me.

“Wow!” I would secretly marvel, “I never thought I would hear that again.” Whereas in the past I used to react with the rage of a scorned Amazon at such macho street behavior, I suddenly found it to be flattering. I felt terrifically gratified in a totally guilt-ridden unfeminist sort of way.

One night I was in my car, stopped at a traffic light on my way home from an evening with friends. It had been a wonderful occasion and I was bathed in mellow pleasure. When I happened to turn my head to the left, I saw that the extremely handsome thirty-something-year old Denzel Washington look-alike in the car next to me was trying to get my eye. He flirted with me in a rather sophisticated and urbane Cary Grantish style, and I burst out laughing at the absurdity. He laughed then. And for that moment we made a real connection, direct and human, person-to-person, soul-to-soul, across the artificial barriers of age, gender and race. Attraction is simply energy sent and received. Good energy is the spice of life. How sexy is that?

How can any deny themselves the pleasure of my company? It’s beyond me.
– Zora Neale Hurston

Electric Crone

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to



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