The Queen of My Self

The Nourishing Relationships interview concludes with an open Q & A:

NR: Now it’s time for our readers to have the opportunity to connect with you personally:

Q. Thanks for your encouragement. I’d like to think of myself as a Queen but to my kids either I’m invisible or, if they do acknowledge me, I’m an intrusive, royal pain in the butt.
– Gloria

A. So your kids don’t see you as a Queen… So what? What do they know?! You are the Queen of your own life. We all are — IF we can allow ourselves to own our own power. Only you can validate your own sovereignty. Issue an official Royal Decree “I hereby declare that I am forthwith Queen of My Self.” All hail!
Q. Excuse my ignorance, but what is an urban shaman?

A. As shamans in every culture always have, I create contemporary rituals for my community, which I consider to be all of humanity. My role is that of catalyst: organizing and instigating innovative, demystified systems for creative public interaction, celebration, and communion.

I am an Urban Shaman, a modern urban woman, living in the city that is the capital of the world. My specialty is multicultural ritual and ceremony. I learn from all of the members of my community and blend together rituals that speak to all people from all backgrounds. My circles reflect that diversity and I am proud to be the ceremonial connector of people of all faiths and ethnicities.

Q. I like that just because we’re focusing on being the best we can each be, it doesn’t mean that we ignore the rest of the world. As you say, we can use our maturity to respond to the needs of others and give back.
– Sharon

A. Yes. Respond is the key word. I like to spell responsibility with s hyphen: response-ability. Our responsibility to ourselves, our inner circles, our community and our world is defined by our ability to respond.

Q. Just wondering how a Queen is different from a “Princess.” I never wanted to be thought of as a “Princess” when I was younger, so why do I want to be a Queen now?

A. A Queen is not a grown up princess. A princess is pampered, cosseted in a cushion of entitlement. A Queen is a mature ruler of her own destiny. She rolls up her sleeves and does whatever needs to be done, because she sees the need and has the ability to respond. A Queen owns and embraces her own power and uses it to empower others.

Q. Mama Donna, You make so much sense – but it’s hard to keep thinking of myself as a Queen when I keep getting shot down. What can I do to keep myself on track?

A. Keeping your own center in the midst of opposition is not easy. But it is incredibly important. It is all about Self-esteem.

In The Queen of My Self there is an entire chapter of exercises and practices to help develop a healthy sense of internal sovereignty. Also, I write a daily bog on with information, advice, inspiration and encouragement for enjoying Meaning, Moxie and Majesty in Midlife.

You can also subscribe to The Queen’s Chronicles, a monthly Ezine full of ideas, feedback and support to keep us centered and empowered. Just go to and sign up.

These tools are really helpful as reminders of and as connectors to our own power.

In the end, it is your opinion of you that counts. Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.”

Do YOU have any questions for me? Feel free to ask.

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to


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