The Journey with Joan Ball

The Journey with Joan Ball


Choices, Choices, Choices: How Do You Decide?

posted by Joan Ball

I sat for about two hours yesterday with a student who asked me to help her figure out what to do next with her life. She is a senior, graduating in may with a near 4.0 cumulative average. She’s a hard worker with 3 or 4 internships at impressive companies under her belt.

I was ready for the “how do I get my career up and running quickly” questions I’ve come to expect from my students, but this conversation went in a different, but increasingly typical, direction. She wasn’t looking for advice on how to network, write a killer cover letter or nail an interview…she has a good handle of those tactics already.

I asked her a few questions about her interests, figuring she might be looking for help defining her options. We quickly outlined a half a dozen amazing possibilities, each of which were more than achievable given her skills, interests and drive. Good for her, I thought. Any of these approaches would set her off on an interesting journey.

But her body language made it clear that these equally appealing paths diverging ahead of her were less a cause for celebration than a source of confusion and uncertainty. I’d seen this before and waited for the question I knew was coming next…

“But how do I decide?” she asked me. “How do I know what to do…I just don’t want to make a mistake.”

So what would you have told this 21 year old woman with all the possibilities in the world ahead of her? How do you  discern what to do next when faced with a variety of equally appealing options?

Please share and I’ll pass your advice on to her!

 



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James

posted March 8, 2013 at 6:13 pm


“But how do I decide?” she asked me. “How do I know what to do…I just don’t want to make a mistake.”

That sentence is revealing. She says I three times. That tells me she no community or friends or trusted folks she can turn to for help.

The quality of her resume allows to believe the lie of being an individual. She thinks, I am strong, I am capable, I am intelligent. But she is consumed by fear of making a mistake.

She needs to look outside of herself. She should not ask, what can I do for me, but how can I use my abundant talents to serve in context of the people around me.

The first step is find people she can en in community with, possibly a church. Then learn what community is and how it works. The she will discover how lonely she really is.



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James

posted March 8, 2013 at 6:11 pm


“But how do I decide?” she asked me. “How do I know what to do…I just don’t want to make a mistake.”

That sentence is revealing. She says I three times. That tells me she no community or friends or trusted folks she can turn to for help.

The quality of her resume allows to believe the lie of being an individual. She thinks, I am strong, I am capable, I am intelligent. But she is consumed by fear of making a mistake.

She needs to look outside of herself. She should not ask, what can I do for me, but how can I use my abundant talents to serve in context of the people around me.

The first step is find people she ca



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Bax

posted February 24, 2013 at 11:39 am


First for easy (or hard) part. Making a mistake is the essence of knowledge. At age 21, if you DON’T make a mistake (or two or three), then you are not stretching. By knowing that you will make a “mistake”, it liberates you to fully take in the experience of the choice you make.

Peace



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