Their Bad Mother
Emilia Archives

My daughter’s junior kindergarten class had a homework assignment last week: decorate a construction paper cut-out Christmas tree. Not just color it or paint it or throw glitter at it: decorate it. With stuff found around their homes. Emilia takes […]

Girl: “I am bigger than Jasper, so I could just take his pudding.” Me: “You will not take his pudding. I am bigger than you, so I will enforce that.” Girl: “I was just joking about taking Jasper’s pudding.” Me: […]

My daughter, at the site where we held my father’s memorial, watching the water fall down down down. Me, watching her, feeling the spray of the water against my cheek, feeling grateful to have this place – this cathedral of […]

Four years ago, my daughter was born. Four years ago, I became a mom. My own mother used to tell me that she considered my birthday as much her day as mine, because it was the day she gave birth, […]

She looks like what might happen if the Tin Man and the Scarecrow mated and produced a doll-decapitating serial killer, but appearances can be deceiving: she is a Jumbo Rainbow Craft Robot, and the decapitated baby head is Baby Sally, […]

Spotted in Area 51: small Buzz Lightyear clone sporting decapitated alien remains on head. Approach with extreme caution.

How is it that small children are even more adorable when they’re upside down? Does cuteness bend gravity in such a way that the very physics of sweetness are amplified when the object of sweetness is suspended in mid-air? Science […]

We’re just not sleeping around here. Like, never. Jasper goes to bed sometime between 7:30 and 8pm; Emilia, shortly thereafter. Depending upon work schedules, the extent of laundry build-up and what’s on television any given night, my husband and I […]

That’s Emilia in her new soccer uniform. Emilia is now playing soccer, which, if I’m not mistaken, makes me a soccer mom. No offense to soccer moms – some of my best friends are soccer moms – but I never […]