Their Bad Mother

Their Bad Mother

Becoming Mommy, Becoming Me

Four years ago, my daughter was born. Four years ago, I became a mom.

My own mother used to tell me that she considered my birthday as much her day as mine, because it was the day she gave birth, the day that she became a mother. For many years I rolled my eyes at this. Not anymore. I know, now, exactly what she meant. For fours I’ve known.

Emilia’s four years have been four years of her growing and learning and transforming from an impossibly tiny – and impossibly loud – little baby to an impossibly mature little girl. They have, for her, been fours of wonder and joy and frustration and love and screams and hugs and tears and giggles and giggles and more giggles. They have also been, for me, four years of sleep deprivation and confusion and anxiety and learning and learning and learning and – of course, always – wonder and joy and love and laughter. These have been her four years, but they have also been my four years. They’ve been her four years of becoming a little girl, of becoming – of continuing to become – her. But they have also been my four years of becoming mommy, becoming a mother, becoming me. Because becoming a mother has been one of the – if not the – defining transitions of my adulthood. It, more than almost anything I’ve done in the last two decades (almost) (gah), has made me who I am. Becoming a mother was a birth, of sorts, for me, too.


And such a birth it was.

Happy birthday, baby girl. And happy BIRTH day, me.

Comments read comments(2)
post a comment

posted November 16, 2009 at 6:03 pm

My mother used to tell me the same thing; she would tease me and tell me the presents at my party were really a present to her for giving birth. I totally get it now in a way I never did growing up. My mom used to whisper to me sometimes that, while she loves my sister and I equally, I would always be a bit more special because I was the one that made her a mother and changed her life forever.

report abuse


posted December 3, 2009 at 9:19 pm

i know just what you mean-

report abuse

Post a Comment

By submitting these comments, I agree to the terms of service, rules of conduct and privacy policy (the "agreements"). I understand and agree that any content I post is licensed to and may be used by in accordance with the agreements.

Previous Posts

More Blogs To Enjoy!!!
Thank you for visiting Their Bad Mother. This blog is no longer being updated. Please enjoy the archives. Here is another blog you may also enjoy: Inspiration Report Life As A Concious Mom Happy Reading!!! ...

posted 4:50:01pm Jul. 05, 2012 | read full post »

The Road To Heaven Is Paved With Maracas
Last weekend, I went to Mass for the first time in well over a decade. To say that it was a strange and disorienting experience would be to understate things dramatically. But it was also a deeply comforting and familiar experience. I know that ...

posted 9:30:01am Mar. 09, 2011 | read full post »

Dear God (On The Catholic Church And Abuse And Evil And Crises Of Faith)
This weekend, I read an article in New York Times Magazine about the crisis surrounding the Catholic Church in Ireland as new, horrible, stories emerge about sexual abuse of children and efforts by the Church to cover up those stories. It was a ...

posted 1:34:44pm Feb. 16, 2011 | read full post »

Buy Yourself Roses For Valentine's Day
You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your ...

posted 9:07:07am Feb. 10, 2011 | read full post »

There But For A Rocking Chair: On Love and Fear and Keeping Our Children Safe
Before Emilia was born, I fussed endlessly about babyproofing. Never mind that it would be months before she would even enter the world, let alone move around it and find its electrical outlets: I was convinced that when it came to babies, there ...

posted 6:46:18pm Dec. 16, 2010 | read full post »


Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.