Their Bad Mother

Their Bad Mother


Becoming Mommy, Becoming Me

posted by Catherine Connors

Four years ago, my daughter was born. Four years ago, I became a mom.

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My own mother used to tell me that she considered my birthday as much her day as mine, because it was the day she gave birth, the day that she became a mother. For many years I rolled my eyes at this. Not anymore. I know, now, exactly what she meant. For fours I’ve known.

Emilia’s four years have been four years of her growing and learning and transforming from an impossibly tiny – and impossibly loud – little baby to an impossibly mature little girl. They have, for her, been fours of wonder and joy and frustration and love and screams and hugs and tears and giggles and giggles and more giggles. They have also been, for me, four years of sleep deprivation and confusion and anxiety and learning and learning and learning and – of course, always – wonder and joy and love and laughter. These have been her four years, but they have also been my four years. They’ve been her four years of becoming a little girl, of becoming – of continuing to become – her. But they have also been my four years of becoming mommy, becoming a mother, becoming me. Because becoming a mother has been one of the – if not the – defining transitions of my adulthood. It, more than almost anything I’ve done in the last two decades (almost) (gah), has made me who I am. Becoming a mother was a birth, of sorts, for me, too.

And such a birth it was.

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Happy birthday, baby girl. And happy BIRTH day, me.



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Kayt

posted November 16, 2009 at 6:03 pm


My mother used to tell me the same thing; she would tease me and tell me the presents at my party were really a present to her for giving birth. I totally get it now in a way I never did growing up. My mom used to whisper to me sometimes that, while she loves my sister and I equally, I would always be a bit more special because I was the one that made her a mother and changed her life forever.



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jade

posted December 3, 2009 at 9:19 pm


i know just what you mean-



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