Their Bad Mother

Their Bad Mother


Jon And Kate And How NOT To End A Marriage

posted by Catherine Connors

I was eighteen when my parents’ marriage fell apart. It was – as the collapse of marriages usually are when there are children involved – terrible.

One of the more difficult aspects, for me, of the collapse of their marriage was my mother’s need to talk to me about it. She suspected (rightly) my father of having an affair, and she was heartbroken, and she wanted to express her heartbreak to her daughters. Which I did – and still do – understand. But hearing the play-by-play of the breakdown of their relationship, hearing, over and over again, the story of her heartbreak, was too much for me to bear. I left home to escape it. It still weighs upon my heart.

I was able to leave home and to limit, to some degree, my exposure to my parents’ pain. The Gosselin children, however, are not and never will be so lucky: their parents are exposing their pain and outrage and heartbreak all over television and the Internet, where it will live on in all of its ugly glory forever. They are lashing out at each other and accusing each other and each is making every effort to make the other the bad guy, which might, for each of them, provide some measure of satisfaction and emotional release, but for the children? This will just become evidence of how messed up their parents were, and how little they thought of the effect on their children of sharing the collapse of their family – the tragic collapse of their family – with the entire world. And it will hurt them, the Gosselin kids. It will hurt them.

I don’t care what Jon or Kate or their lawyers say about wanting to protect their children; they’re not doing it. (Yes, I’m including Kate. Jon’s been an ass, but she’s just as guilty of broadcasting their misery.) Every time either one of them goes on a talk show or gives an interview or says anything public about the breakdown of their marriage and the dissolution of their family, anything at all, they are hurting their children. Maybe the kids won’t feel the pain today (although I very much doubt that), but they will feel it. And it will never go away.

There’s no amount of money or fame that’s worth that. There’s just not. I wish that they would figure that out, and just stop.

 



Advertisement
Comments read comments(10)
post a comment
Rick Garner

posted October 5, 2009 at 9:39 pm


Jon & Kate Gosselin’s life has developed into such a he says, she says…but what does God say? http://www.jonandkateprayers.com/2009/10/he-said-she-saidbut-what-does-god-say.html



report abuse
 

Danielle-Lee

posted October 5, 2009 at 10:34 pm


I totally agree. I find it shameful what they are doing! She may say she is thinking of her children’s futures by continuing w/ the show, but I strongly disagree. The most important thing in her life should be THEM. NOW. Screw the college education and the savings accts. Just stop the show and take care of your kids. Stop using them, and destroying the image of their father. It makes me so sad.



report abuse
 

Kelly

posted October 5, 2009 at 11:32 pm


While I agree divorce is most painful for the kids, I dont believe Kate is the one destroying the image of their father. He is doing a pretty good job of that all by himself and as publicly as possible. Yes, Kate wants to save the show, without it, how can she provide the lifestyle those kids have become accustomed too? It appears she is doing her best to shield the kids from what is going on around them. I guess you think she should not even attempt to defend herself from Jon’s antics? Her responses have been pretty tame compared to his media rampage. I think most people dont like Kate because she went from struggling to pay the bills to having money in the bank and wants to keep it there. I think most of us have a goal of keeping the roof we have right now over our heads, be it a big roof or a small roof.



report abuse
 

Cat

posted October 6, 2009 at 10:36 am


I agree. I hate reading about this divorce. My mom did the same thing yours did, and I went to college far, far away to escape the tales of my father’s affairs and misdeeds. It sucks when a parent crosses the friend/confidant line the wrong way.



report abuse
 

Catherine

posted October 6, 2009 at 2:32 pm


Kelly,
I include Kate in this because she too has made the choice to battle him publicly. She doesn’t have to do this. The only reason to do this is to preserve her public image. The kids don’t need for the public to side with her. The kids need for their parents to not broadcast their misery.



report abuse
 

Roxanne

posted October 6, 2009 at 2:44 pm


Imagine the twins in school and a classmate says to them, “I heard your dad stole a lot of money from your family.” Would the twins have even heard about that at home? But now all their classmates are privy to private info about the Gosselin family and the supposed bad behavior of the Gossline father. It’s got to be tough for those twins.
Kate, especially, is so greedy and hungry for fame and stardom. She never misses a chance to get herself on TV and complain about her husband. What woman would want to go on national TV just to make a complaint about her ex? Is nothing private? Frankly, I don’t blame Jon for doing the same thing, because she is trashing him at every turn and he has to fight back to some extent. Kate is the one who wanted to end the marriage. She started this ball rolling and, in my view, is mostly responsible for the sordid turn this has taken.
To me it’s shameful that any television station would air this private family business over and over and over. What is wrong with people like Meredith Vieira? Gosselin stuff is NEWS?



report abuse
 

Izzy

posted October 6, 2009 at 3:35 pm


Roxanne, I agree with you that the public battle is tough for the kids and both parents must stay quiet now.
BUT you have to be in Kate’s shoes to understand what she did. You blame Kate entirely for the ‘sordid’ turn. C’mon, so if your spouse were having an affair you would sit back, and pretend everything is ok. What an example to set for your kids. She has the right to end the marriage because of adultery. It was Jon who announced on TV that he despises Kate and declares the bimbo he left his family for as his soul mate. All before the divorce is final. It’s amazing you see Jon as blameless for how ugly everything has turned out. You deserve a guy like Jon.



report abuse
 

Irish Mammy

posted October 7, 2009 at 11:45 am


The children appear to be forgotten in the “adult debate”. It’s interesting that your mother felt the need to share her pain with her children, not her friends or family. From reading your post it is clear you need to protect children as much as possible during the marraige breakdown or you risk alientating them.



report abuse
 

deb

posted October 8, 2009 at 7:13 pm


Been there as the mom’s friend, instead of daughter, ( still in recovery ) and while I agree, I also think there was much damage done prior to this. If anyone has every watched any of the shows… that was one messed up family. The older two seemed intuitive to their parents issues in the early shows, and I cannot imagine what their diary entries must read like already.



report abuse
 

Sharon

posted October 12, 2009 at 1:13 pm


Thanks for posting….parents really need to protect your children
http://www.craigspr.org



report abuse
 

Post a Comment

By submitting these comments, I agree to the beliefnet.com terms of service, rules of conduct and privacy policy (the "agreements"). I understand and agree that any content I post is licensed to beliefnet.com and may be used by beliefnet.com in accordance with the agreements.



Previous Posts

More Blogs To Enjoy!!!
Thank you for visiting Their Bad Mother. This blog is no longer being updated. Please enjoy the archives. Here is another blog you may also enjoy: Inspiration Report Life As A Concious Mom Happy Reading!!!

posted 4:50:01pm Jul. 05, 2012 | read full post »

The Road To Heaven Is Paved With Maracas
Last weekend, I went to Mass for the first time in well over a decade. To say that it was a strange and disorienting experience would be to understate things dramatically. But it was also a deeply comforting and familiar experience. I know that that doesn't seem to make a lot of sense, but in my exp

posted 9:30:01am Mar. 09, 2011 | read full post »

Dear God (On The Catholic Church And Abuse And Evil And Crises Of Faith)
This weekend, I read an article in New York Times Magazine about the crisis surrounding the Catholic Church in Ireland as new, horrible, stories emerge about sexual abuse of children and efforts by the Church to cover up those stories. It was a teensy bit upsetting. So I started to write a post abou

posted 1:34:44pm Feb. 16, 2011 | read full post »

Buy Yourself Roses For Valentine's Day
You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection. -- Buddha

posted 9:07:07am Feb. 10, 2011 | read full post »

There But For A Rocking Chair: On Love and Fear and Keeping Our Children Safe
Before Emilia was born, I fussed endlessly about babyproofing. Never mind that it would be months before she would even enter the world, let alone move around it and find its electrical outlets: I was convinced that when it came to babies, there was no such thing as too many precautions taken too so

posted 6:46:18pm Dec. 16, 2010 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.