Their Bad Mother

Their Bad Mother


If Wishes Were Horses, I Would Be On A Ranch Holiday

posted by Catherine Connors

Yesterday, my husband and I celebrated our thirteenth wedding anniversary. And by celebrated, I mean we made grilled cheese sandwiches for the kids and then fell asleep before ten o’clock.

We’ve been married thirteen years. We’ve been parents for four. For the first nine years, every anniversary was enthusiastically celebrated – dinner, drinks, gifts. For the last four, the celebrations have been a little more quiet – mac and cheese and early bedtimes. It’s not that we don’t want to celebrate – we do – it’s that we simply don’t have the energy (nor do we have a babysitter, but that’s another story). With two small, sleep-averse children, any free time that we have is usually spent power-napping. Who has the will to dress up and sit in a restaurant when you could just fall asleep on the sofa, a cold slice of delivery pizza clutched in your hand?

It’s been a hard year for us – and an exceptionally hard few months – and so the urge to just curl up in our pajamas is stronger than ever. But I think that the need for us to get up and get motivated to find some time for ourselves – as a couple, as two people who are more than just parents – is greater, in some respects than our need to rest. It’s easy to give in to the need to rest. But it’s also easy, in giving in to that need, to give up on other needs.

We’re tired. I’m tired. So tired.

Is there any such thing as a Vacation Fairy? A Dinner Date Godmother? Does the Great Pumpkin deliver spa getaway certificates, complete with nanny service? Because we need that kind of magic, stat.



Advertisement
Comments read comments(6)
post a comment
Loukia

posted September 23, 2009 at 2:20 pm


We recently celebrated our 6th year of marriage and the other day someone asked me how long I have been married for and I said 5 years and then I realized I was wrong. We didn’t do a thing this year, either. But I remember the year before we became parents we went to MTL for an awesome weekend. Drank lots of wine, etc. Now, times are different. I wish there was a vacation fairy!



report abuse
 

red pen mama

posted September 23, 2009 at 8:34 pm


I hear you, sister. And I jump through hoops to get us child care so we can have date nights. Just after doing it for five months in a row, I wish he would do it, then we don’t do anything as a couple for three months, and then we have a huge fight and realize we’re seriously drifting. And then the cycle starts over again.
As long as you check in with each other and communicate — and hubby and I have been known to let that drift, too — you’ll be okay. But it’s tough being parents and a married couple sometimes.
ciao,
rpm



report abuse
 

Beth

posted September 23, 2009 at 8:39 pm


We only managed to go out for our anniversary this year because my husband’s parents stayed with the kids while we went because I had a series of tests the next day and could not bring the kids with us.
We’ve been married for fifteen years and parents for four. We really haven’t been able to do the anniversary thing, and I think we need to. Too much stress and not enough time to be us is definitely taking a toll.



report abuse
 

elaine

posted September 23, 2009 at 8:46 pm


in one word: word.



report abuse
 

Lady M

posted September 24, 2009 at 1:01 am


Happy Anniversary!
We visited my parents for a few days last week, and after the boys were asleep, my husband and I could have gone out, seen a movie, had a real date. We were so tired that we just got an Oreo milkshake at Carl’s Jr. and went home.



report abuse
 

TwinsMa

posted September 25, 2009 at 1:34 pm


Sounds like a good time to come to Virginia so that I can babysit and you guys can go have a blast. (Not that this itty bitty town has much to go do but there are a couple of restaurants that will do in a pinch.) I wish you were closer because I would totally help you out. Just sneak into the bathroom after they go to bed or down for a nap and have a crazy makeout session. It really does liven up the mood!



report abuse
 

Post a Comment

By submitting these comments, I agree to the beliefnet.com terms of service, rules of conduct and privacy policy (the "agreements"). I understand and agree that any content I post is licensed to beliefnet.com and may be used by beliefnet.com in accordance with the agreements.



Previous Posts

More Blogs To Enjoy!!!
Thank you for visiting Their Bad Mother. This blog is no longer being updated. Please enjoy the archives. Here is another blog you may also enjoy: Inspiration Report Life As A Concious Mom Happy Reading!!!

posted 4:50:01pm Jul. 05, 2012 | read full post »

The Road To Heaven Is Paved With Maracas
Last weekend, I went to Mass for the first time in well over a decade. To say that it was a strange and disorienting experience would be to understate things dramatically. But it was also a deeply comforting and familiar experience. I know that that doesn't seem to make a lot of sense, but in my exp

posted 9:30:01am Mar. 09, 2011 | read full post »

Dear God (On The Catholic Church And Abuse And Evil And Crises Of Faith)
This weekend, I read an article in New York Times Magazine about the crisis surrounding the Catholic Church in Ireland as new, horrible, stories emerge about sexual abuse of children and efforts by the Church to cover up those stories. It was a teensy bit upsetting. So I started to write a post abou

posted 1:34:44pm Feb. 16, 2011 | read full post »

Buy Yourself Roses For Valentine's Day
You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection. -- Buddha

posted 9:07:07am Feb. 10, 2011 | read full post »

There But For A Rocking Chair: On Love and Fear and Keeping Our Children Safe
Before Emilia was born, I fussed endlessly about babyproofing. Never mind that it would be months before she would even enter the world, let alone move around it and find its electrical outlets: I was convinced that when it came to babies, there was no such thing as too many precautions taken too so

posted 6:46:18pm Dec. 16, 2010 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.