Their Bad Mother

Their Bad Mother

Dear Kate Gosselin: Let Me Get Back To You On That Bad Mother Thing

So I wrote a post the other day, continuing my ruminations on Kate Gosselin and why she is  so judged and why that’s a problem for me and for everyone, et cetera, but it was – as a few readers pointed out – incomplete and unclear. In raising the question of whether or not a recent incident – denying her daughter water, while enjoying a drink herself – warranted judgment, and admitting that I myself had raised my eyebrows and had one of those moments of oh, dear – which, as I’ve admitted, are moments that I do have, privately, and I think we all have, privately – but not pursuing those questions to a conclusion, or even taking the time to situate those questions within the context of the larger problems about bad mother narratives that I’ve been pursuing so ardently, I did the subject and my readers a disservice. The post as it stood could have been read as ambiguously judgmental; worse, it could have been read as a simple statement of judgment. And although I emphatically did not intend it to be that – there were larger questions, deeper issues, fueling my scattershot reflections – I understand that it could have been read that way, and so I have taken it down until I can pursue those questions to something approximating a conclusion.


Because although I believe that judgment is unavoidable, that to judge is to be human, and that there are some things that we should judge (another topic for another time), I don’t believe in contributing to – I don’t want to contribute to – public narratives of judgment, and if even one reader took my reflections as simple statements of public judgment, then that’s a problem.

I’ll repost the original, unedited, when I take up the topic again. But for now, if there’s any room for misunderstanding, I’m taking it down.

In the meantime: BABIES IN BATHING SUITS, for everyone’s amusement and edification…

tanis weekend 027.JPGBecause nobody ever judges a baby. Babies are beyond judgment.

Um, right?

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posted June 14, 2009 at 8:33 pm

I don’t know…I think his hair is clearly reminiscent of a comb-over and therefore implies a deceitful nature. In addition, his refusal to grin from ear to ear for a simple photo-op shows an unfortunately dour personality underlying the surface adorable-ness. I’m not sure he’s really living up to his potential as a baby.
IN REALITY, I pretty much want to nibble on those yummy cheeks and cuddle him close. Much like my own two-year-old Widget.

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Natasha (@SomethingGirl)

posted June 14, 2009 at 8:57 pm

TeacherMommy’s comment is clever and made me laugh.
Well, thank you for acknowledging that I’m not totally out to lunch for thinking that the post could have been interpreted as ambiguous and as simple judgment.
I understand much more now. Much, much more.

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J from Ireland

posted June 17, 2009 at 6:42 pm

Oh my God, he is adorable. nom nom nom on those cheeks!

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