Their Bad Mother

Their Bad Mother


Welcome To My Mother ‘Hood

posted by Catherine Connors

Three and a half years ago, I started a mommy-blog. I called it Her Bad Mother. Why I called it Her Bad Mother is a long story that I’ll tell you about some other time, but my reasoning more or less came down to this: I had a baby girl – a “her” – and I was pretty convinced that I was going to be a bad mother. And I was going to write about being a bad mother, so. The math was pretty straightforward: Her Bad Mother.

That worked out pretty well for me for about two and half years: I was a bad mother, and I blogged about it. Then I got pregnant again. With – you guessed it – another baby. Another baby who was not necessarily going to be a her. At which point, I asked myself – actually, a whole lot of people asked me – would I still think of myself as Her Bad Mother after my second child was born? Shouldn’t I call myself Their Bad Mother? And I kinda thought, well, no: Her Bad Mother isn’t just about me as a mother. It’s about me as a mother and as a writer and as a former academic and as a feminist and as an activist and as a pop-culture aficionado. It’s about a whole lot of things, only one of which is the experience of motherhood. Her Bad Mother, I realized, had taken on a life and identity of its own, beyond the mommy-blog. It wasn’t bound by the circumstances of my motherhood – I would be Her Bad Mother even if I suddenly became good – and it certainly wasn’t bound, descriptively by the number of children that I had.

But still: something was changing, something that Her Bad Mother couldn’t quite capture. My identity as a mother was changing, as was my identity as a writer. I was writing about more than just motherhood – to the extent that I recoiled, sometimes, at being called a mommy blogger – but at the same time I was feeling compelled to write more just about motherhood. And there was still that whole issue about another baby coming along. I dithered for, like, a year. Start a new blog? Expand the old one? Change the name?

Then this opportunity presented itself – to expand my blogging horizons and carve out a new space for myself as a parent blogger – an unabashed mommy blogger, even. To create a new blog as an extension and expansion of the old one. To become, in a new space, Their Bad Mother, and to write about that – the minuteia and mundanities and exaltations of being a confused and complicated and sometimes competent mother of two – while preserving my other, writerly, Her Bad Motherly identity and all the stories that attach themselves thereon.

So, welcome! I’m looking forward to this journey, and to sharing it with you.

budgeandbro.jpgAnd them.
 



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zchamu

posted May 7, 2009 at 2:56 pm


Congratulations, how exciting!



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Judy @ Mommy News Blog

posted May 7, 2009 at 3:01 pm


Congrats on your new blog! I’d love to hear the “original” story of how you came up the name sometime.
Judy @MommyNews



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badassdad05

posted May 7, 2009 at 3:01 pm


Wouldn’t stories attach themselves thereto, rather than thereon?
Oh, and cool about the new blog, too. :)



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katie

posted May 7, 2009 at 3:01 pm


WHOOT WHOOT – congratulations, more of your awesomeness to spread around.



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ExtraordinaryMommy - Danielle

posted May 7, 2009 at 3:02 pm


Fabulous~ So exciting – looking foward to keeping up with your bad mothering of THEM :)



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mihow

posted May 7, 2009 at 3:05 pm


Hello! And yay, Catherine!
It’s nice to be here. I’m not seeing the world boob yet. When will that grace this page? It needs more boob! :]



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Angela

posted May 7, 2009 at 3:06 pm


Yeah! That’s so exciting…
I’ve wanted to start a second one as well. One that the fam doesn’t know about.



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Heather @ Domestic Extraordinaire

posted May 7, 2009 at 3:15 pm


very cool! Looking forward to reading you here as well as everywhere else I find you. (Geez I sound like a stalker)



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Jo Anna

posted May 7, 2009 at 3:21 pm


Good for you, Catherine! Wishing you the best dissection.
Have found myself wanting to do something similar, but for very different reasons. While you’re all out there on your original blog, never holding back, never fearing to trudge through the mud barefoot and without hand sanitizer, I feel like I’ve been retreating.
What started out as self-expression and catharsis has slowly become somewhat of an obligation. And I don’t want that. Or need that.
And am such a shitty commenter for hogging this space with my headgarbage.
So, yay! Really great to see you expanding.
Best of luck!!!
Jo Anna



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Heide

posted May 7, 2009 at 3:28 pm


Wait, there’s going to be some kind of boob on this page? Nice! Sign me up! :)



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Brenna

posted May 7, 2009 at 3:54 pm


How exciting! Congrats on the new blog.



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Loukia

posted May 7, 2009 at 4:04 pm


Congrats on the new blog!



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Delphine

posted May 7, 2009 at 4:16 pm


Great ! So much better (at least for us!) than quitting blogging altogether.
I’ll be happy to read you there as well !



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Mandy

posted May 7, 2009 at 4:38 pm


Congrats on your new venture!
I don’t know how you have the energy to do all this writing, but it’s awesome. Awe-inspiring.



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Nell Minow

posted May 7, 2009 at 7:49 pm


Welcome!



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TeacherMommy

posted May 8, 2009 at 9:02 am


You are evil, for now I must add to my Blogroll. Because I don’t already spend enough time reading blogs.
Sigh. :D



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The Mouthy Housewives

posted May 8, 2009 at 10:13 pm


You are all of Our Bad Mother!



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Karen MEG

posted May 10, 2009 at 11:12 am


Catherine, I can barely keep up with you, how DO you do it, and do it so well?
Congrats!!!!



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WhyMommy

posted May 11, 2009 at 1:06 am


Fun new blog, HBM! Glad to see you have a place you can feel free to gush. :-)



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I found your site on Google and read a few of your other entires. Nice Stuff. Im looking forward to reading more from you.
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Good stuff, It might just work, although it seems easier when you have a plan.



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posted September 3, 2010 at 6:50 pm


Greets
Refreshing and very informative. i wish there were more blogs like it. Anyway, i felt it was about time i posted, I
My bro just wanted to drop you a comment to say keep up teh good work.
Goodbye



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