Their Bad Mother

Their Bad Mother


The Amazing Race, Babies And Cats Edition

posted by Catherine Connors

(There has been much activity here at Baby Headquarters, and so much to report on: swaddle busts! parties! cat chases! One hardly knows where to begin. But since we have to portion out stories this week – Mommy returns tomorrow, temporarily, to lecturing, for the first time since Baby took over rule of the household – we must choose The Story of the Day. And since New Internet Friend and fellow Siamese Cat Aficionado Christina expressed interest in visuals of the furry Bad Ladies we must go with the Bad Lady Story…)

The NanaDoob has held a privileged position in Baby’s court for some time, ever since she took it upon herself to Serve and Protect Baby, and to ward off such evils as the Compelling of the Nap and the Reading of the French. It is, and has been, a role of great importance, given Baby’s relative helplessness. Being, for the most part, a chubby immobile creature, Baby required external support persons to act as her ‘muscle.’ Not unlike, one might venture to say, Jabba the Hutt…

OK, so Jabba is hideous and Baby is adorable. But consider the following Jabba characteristics and deny that Baby shares them: soft, pudgy body (check), multiple chins (check), limited arm use (check), oversize head and non-existent neck (check), excessive slobber (check), ambitions to rule the universe (check), slavish minions (check). I’m just sayin’.

So it has been that the NanaDoob has always acted at some remove from Baby, who has, since her takeover, been for the most part immobilized.

Watchoo lookin’ at? You were expectin’ robots and gold bikinis???

Until now.

Baby has been training for some time to gain the physical strength that world domination requires, and has recently begun testing herself outside of her various constraining support devices (among which, the arms of her chief minions, the Mommy and the Daddy).

And she decided that one her first orders of business was to test herself against the NanaDoob.

Come hither, pussy minion…

The NanaDoob was overdue for being put in her place. It is, after all, well known that all Siamese cats aspire to world domination. (1) And Baby could no longer allow the NanaDoob to nurture such ambitions. She would have to learn that Baby. Is. Boss.

… for I wish to gum you…

and slobber upon you! And show you my power!

The NanaDoob, quite understandably, fled moments later. It is, however, unclear as to whether she fled out of fear or out of an understandable abhorrence of mucous.

———

The above was the second of the Amazing Cat Chases. Baby, it must be admitted, did not move very quickly. Indeed, the movement was very limited. But the effort was made! And there was scooching – the pushing along of the body by way of arm and leg wriggling – to the order of some 6 inches! Baby GOT GOIN’.

Mommy was VERY PROUD. And took many pictures. Most of which do not show Baby at her best, as there was much exertion involved in this exercise…

Aaaarrrrggghhh….dribble… aarrggh

But still! VERY PROUD!

———-

(1) The NanaDoob and her compatriot, The Sissy, have been caught relaxing in Baby’s throne, and issuing orders to the toys and (treason!) to the minion Mommy and Daddy. So there is solid evidence that some usurpation has been in planning. They’ll need to be watched…

I scoff at your drool, hairless one…

Originally published at www.herbadmother.com



Advertisement
Comments Post the First Comment »
post a comment

Post a Comment

By submitting these comments, I agree to the beliefnet.com terms of service, rules of conduct and privacy policy (the "agreements"). I understand and agree that any content I post is licensed to beliefnet.com and may be used by beliefnet.com in accordance with the agreements.



Previous Posts

More Blogs To Enjoy!!!
Thank you for visiting Their Bad Mother. This blog is no longer being updated. Please enjoy the archives. Here is another blog you may also enjoy: Inspiration Report Life As A Concious Mom Happy Reading!!!

posted 4:50:01pm Jul. 05, 2012 | read full post »

The Road To Heaven Is Paved With Maracas
Last weekend, I went to Mass for the first time in well over a decade. To say that it was a strange and disorienting experience would be to understate things dramatically. But it was also a deeply comforting and familiar experience. I know that that doesn't seem to make a lot of sense, but in my exp

posted 9:30:01am Mar. 09, 2011 | read full post »

Dear God (On The Catholic Church And Abuse And Evil And Crises Of Faith)
This weekend, I read an article in New York Times Magazine about the crisis surrounding the Catholic Church in Ireland as new, horrible, stories emerge about sexual abuse of children and efforts by the Church to cover up those stories. It was a teensy bit upsetting. So I started to write a post abou

posted 1:34:44pm Feb. 16, 2011 | read full post »

Buy Yourself Roses For Valentine's Day
You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection. -- Buddha

posted 9:07:07am Feb. 10, 2011 | read full post »

There But For A Rocking Chair: On Love and Fear and Keeping Our Children Safe
Before Emilia was born, I fussed endlessly about babyproofing. Never mind that it would be months before she would even enter the world, let alone move around it and find its electrical outlets: I was convinced that when it came to babies, there was no such thing as too many precautions taken too so

posted 6:46:18pm Dec. 16, 2010 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.