Friday I was screaming of joy when I learned from my editor that Deepak Chopra had endorsed my book. Although, it will not be on the book cover because the book has been printed already, it will appear in other promotions.
“Sherry Gaba’s book, The Law of Sobriety, is a masterpiece. It will help millions of people who are struggling in recovery. I recommend this book to everyone who wants to lead a sober, sane and creative life.”
Author, Reinventing the Body, Resurrecting the Soul
All I could think about is the essence of humility. “In every AA Story, pain was the entrance ticket into a new life. But we received much more with this “ticket” than what we expected. We were led to an attitude of humility that soon turned out to be a pain-healer. We slowly stopped being so afraid that we longed for nothing more than humility.” Bill W.
When I think of humility, I think of gratitude. In my book, “The Law of Sobriety: Attracting Positive Energy for a Powerful Recovery” I write “The more you express appreciation for what you already have, the better chance you have of receiving more of the same blessings.”
There have many people that have supported me in the last year in writing my book, my editor, publisher, Dr. Drew Pinsky, my publicist, my husband , daughter, and parents (of course) and all my friends who I miss because I have been so busy, I haven’t seen them as often as I would like. I am so grateful to all of them for their un-conditional support and understanding.
However, one thing is for sure, I am reminded of the 7th step and there are times I have to let go of that ego of mine and turn it over to my higher power. When I get caught up in ego gratification and needing recognition, I have to go back to remembering my original intention in writing this book was to help others, not just to get a pat on the back. It seems when I remember that, blessings begin to appear. like getting an endorsement from Deepak Chopra.
Humility is at the core of spiritual recovery. I believe this quote by Eckhart Tolle expresses the gifts of gratitude and humility the best.
“Whatever you think people are withholding from you….praise, appreciation, assistance, loving care, and so on…..give it to them. You don’t have it? Just act as if you had it, and it will come. Then, soon after you start giving, you will start receiving. You cannot receive what you don’t give.”
Sherry Gaba, LCSW, is a Psychotherapist and Life Coach in private practice and Celebrity Rehab on VH1. Visit Sherry at www.sgabatherapy.com for information about her life coaching programs, teleseminars, webinars, and read her blogs at Counselor Magazine.com and her Law of Sobriety blog.
As a single mother of a twenty-six year old woman since she was one years old, I was outraged by Jennifer Aniston’s remark that men are optional in child rising. Although this is a blog on addictions, I felt I needed to take a stand on this topic. I was outraged because I don’t think she understands the ramifications both emotionally and financially of raising a child on your own. She is in another league compared to most women with her celebrity status and her comment is unrealistic of what it encompasses to raise children alone.
I am also a Psychotherapist and Life Coach and I meet single parents all the time, besides myself, that struggle with the hardship and pain that having a family without a father can bring into the family. I am not saying it can’t be done, but it must be a decision that is thought out extremely carefully understanding what it entails. One quarter of single mothers live below the poverty line. Jennifer Aniston does not have to worry about that given her financial resources.
The issue is that many celebrities make statements without really understanding the impact and influence it has on those who follow their example. I have discussed this in great depth how dangerous it is when celebrities role model behavior that glamorize drug addiction or when they role model body images that are unrealistic and in most cases dangerous for anyone to follow. Now Jennifer is role modeling single parenting.
I realize many women become single parents not by choice if they become a widow or go through a divorce, as I did. However, to make a cavalier statement that men are optional is insensitive and degrading to what a father can bring to a family. I struggled disciplining my child without having a partner to support me. Luckily, my parents were instrumental in helping support me financially at times, which gave my daughter many opportunities most children of single parents don’t have. For example, she was able to take dance lessons, which can be very costly, because I had some help from my parents.
With economic times as shaky as they are today, how awful it must be for single parents who loses their job and has no one to help them with the bare necessities. How scary it must be for a child to not know where their next meal will come from or where they are going to live.
I will never forget the look on my daughter’s face when the school was having a Daddy and me Bowling Day. She didn’t have a Daddy to take bowling and it was heartbreaking. I will never forget my daughter not having a dad to go to her open houses, her birthday parties, father’s day, and a host of other significant times in her life where she needed her dad.
Although my daughter has a relationship with her dad, he moved 3,000 miles away from her which made it difficult for both her and her father. I had to remind myself almost daily I couldn’t be a father and a mother, but could only be the best mother I could be. It was still painful and I would not wish that on anyone. So Jennifer, wake up and smell the coffee. Children deserve to have two parents if possible and although single parenting can be done successfully, I do not feel it is optimum for a child. In fact, in some cases I think it is selfish and Jennifer Aniston should think twice before she makes comments that can be detrimental to a child’s life.
2 Moms and a Mic ?2 Moms and a Mic
Get Ready as I join 2 MOMS AND A MIC August 11, 2010 tune in 1400 KKZZ.com to discuss Love Addiction and Adolescents
We live in a time of great worry. Our minds, hearts and stomachs have trouble settling, slowing down and finding peace. From one perspective, we have good cause for concern. The economy’s unpredictability stirs anxiety about our ability to provide for our families in the most basic ways: food, shelter, clothes. And every day a new report informs us that the food we are eating will, in all likelihood, make us sick, if not eventually kill us.
It’s no surprise then that many are finding comfort in their old friend alcohol or marijuana, or whatever addiction numbs the depression and anxiety that has settled in. But this provides no long-term solution; it simply distracts you for a little while.
But the real solution is simple–literally. Slow down. Take a deep breath and begin to adopt both a healthier perspective and healthier coping skills.
Focus on the simple things that still exist in our world today. We have trees we can stand under, flowers we can see and smell, and air we can breathe in deeply. And we can remind ourselves of our ability to choose our response to whatever is happening in our life. We can embrace anxiety and depression and addiction, or we can embrace the opportunity to re-evaluate our priorities and values, says Meredith Watkins, Editor of ReecoveryView.com.
Having less money can be a great blessing when it forces you to see more clearly what you need and what you can do without. Less stuff actually equals more freedom, because in some sense, our possessions do enslave us. Blackberries demand our constant attention, taking it away from our families and friends; enormous homes demand our time and energy at work to earn more money to pay the mortgage. And while there is nothing inherently wrong with any of these things, the simple things are what bring the most joy and peace.
Challenge yourself to simplify your life where you can: go to a farmer’s market and make a home-cooked meal. Better yet, plant a garden. Turn off the TV and play games with your kids or read a book. Slow down, just a little, and take the time to truly be present in your life.
Sherry Gaba, LCSW, is a Psychotherapist and Life Coach in private practice and on Celebrity Rehab on VH1. She is also the author of “The Law of Sobriety: Attracting Positive Energy for a Powerful Recovery.”