The Celebrity Therapist

Lindsay Lohan will be back in court Friday for testing positive for cocaine and could face 30 days in jail.

This is just after being released from a UCLA drug treatment center where the doctors determined she was not a chronic substance abuser.  Are you kidding?  How did they come to that conclusion?  I don’t get it.  I have worked in this field for numerous years and every indication points to Lindsay being an addict. 

Lindsay has failed multiple drug tests, spent 13 days behind bars and was released early due to overcrowded jails.   If these aren’t bottoms, then what is?

Lindsay has hit her bottom numerous times and is still using which means obviously whatever treatment she has been receiving is not working and/or clearly she does not want to get clean and sober.  Ironic that in the same week Paris Hilton, another young celebrity, gets busted for cocaine. 

My mother made the most interesting comment to me the other day.  She asked, “Why aren’t these woman doing something in their lives that is meaningful?”  “Why aren’t they doing charity work?”  “Why aren’t they spending their time being useful instead of partying all hours of the night and flaunting their line of handbags?” 

This is just outrageous and the arrogance of these women permeates Hollywood’s slew of young and entitled celebrities.  It is another example of most likely friends and possibly her family enabling this type of behavior by their denial and their inability to say “no.”  On the other hand, she is a 24 year old woman, who is deeply in her disease.  She is most definitely an addict and she needs one year of treatment.  She needs to immerse herself in recovery and change everything and everyone in her life if she expects to turn her life around. 

Although I try not to promote my book, this is exactly what Lindsay needs.  She needs to find her purpose, her calling and figure out what it is that gives her life meaning other than drugs and alcohol. We all have a reason to be on this planet.  We all have gifts to impart to the universe.  Lindsay has a calling but she has yet to find it because she has been too busy living in chaos and dysfunction for too many years.  I wish for her to find what it is that fulfills her and brings passion to her life, otherwise I am afraid she is going to keep doing the same thing over and over again.  Yes, she needs recovery, but she also needs a reason for being here. Otherwise, she unfortunately may not ever have that chance to be the woman she is meant to be.   She, like so many other young adults, are never able to access their purpose because they are too busy numbing their feelings.   Only that tiny voice of wisdom can be heard from their higher power, Buddha, God, Jesus, Allah, or higher self when they remove all the destructive behavior their lives encompass.   Only when they embody their true and enlightened nature, will they find the peace and serenity they so desire.



2 Moms and a Mic

2 Moms and a Mic Listen or stream 2 Moms and a Mic at 8AM 1400 KKZZ today as I talk about having healthy boundaries with your children at 8 am PT.

After a long year of writing my book, I now am dealing with the business side of things. The creative part is being replaced by lots and lots of marketing decisions I need to make in order to get my book out there to help addicts everywhere. Unfortunately, writing the book was the easy part. The challenging part is getting the word out.
I realized that with all of this energy focused on getting the book out to the public, I have gotten lost in my ego. I have become focused more on getting the book out than getting the message out. I have been losing my way as to what my original intention was when I wrote this book. I have been feeling resentful and realize I have been making statements that are pure ego based vs. humility based.
I have hired people to do their jobs and instead of just letting that flow, I have been controlling and micro managing them. All that does is frustrate them and leaves me feeling angry that people aren’t doing things “my way.”
If you are making statements such as “I can’t believe they are doing it this way or that way” or “I have a right for it to go this way or that way” you may be ego driven, as well, and forgetting to rely on your higher power to do its job.
If you have been comparing yourself to others, all that will do is leave you feeling “less then.”
Maybe you have been forgetting, like I have, that you are not the one in charge here. You have a higher power that is ready and willing to be accessed to help you find your way back and out of your ego mode.
I hope to impart wisdom and guidance to my readers with my book. However, trying to control the outcome of where this book may land has left me feeling anxious and in fear.
I am realizing once again that only detachment can bring you the serenity and peace you are looking for. You know that all you have control over is the footwork and the actions steps; the rest is not up to you or I.
My true desire was to let those struggling with addictions, whatever they are, to know there are many roads towards recovery. My book was incubated by a deep knowing from my own experience that everyone has a calling or a purpose. I wanted this book to help individuals embrace their true essence and to go after that which they desire in their life. When I started writing this book that was my only intention at the time. I didn’t realize how difficult it actually was to get the book in the hands of readers.
I realize that a book is also a business. I get that, but to constantly be in fear that I or the book will fail is the wrong road to make a turn on. I need to back up and put my trust back in faith and surrender to whatever un-folds will occur without my trying to push things along.
If you are in a frenzy because you are more attached to the results than the process, than you may be in your ego driven state, as well. If I can surrender to not knowing, so can you. Let’s together put out an affirmation that will help us get out of our own way:
“Today I will focus on the journey vs. the outcome.”
“Today I will focus on the action but not the results of the action.”
“Today I will live in faith vs. fear.”
“Today I feel peaceful knowing my higher power is always there to assist me.”
“Today I will remove my ego out of the equation and allow my higher power to do its job.”


The Day of Atonement


The end of this week is Yom Kippur, the Jewish Day of Atonement. Sometimes it’s mistakenly thought of as the day we reflect on our mistakes and ask for forgiveness. But that’s not what atonement means. Atonement means reparation for a wrong or an injury. It means making things right.

            On Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, we reflect and repent. Tradition says that when we do, God inscribes our name in the Book of Life for another year. On Yom Kippur, God closes the book for the coming year–the judgment is sealed. Between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, we atone.

            But Yom Kippur atones only for misdeeds between humans and God–broken vows and broken rules. We take these misdeeds up with God, who looks in our hearts and forgives. To atone for sins against another person, including hurting their feelings, Jewish law says we have to take that up directly with the person we hurt. We must acknowledge what we’ve done to that person and, if at all possible, right the wrong.

            To me, this sounds a lot like steps 8 and 9 in a 12-step program. Step 8 says we make a list of all the people we’ve harmed and be willing to make amends to them all. Step 9 says we actually do make amends. It’s a kind of atonement.

            The fact that we have a period of time every year set aside for atonement tells me something interesting about us humans–something the Jews knew even in ancient times; Everybody does things they need to atone for. They do them year after year. We’re imperfect beings; there’s no getting around that. But, as imperfect as we are, we can acknowledge what we’ve don’t wrong, atone and move on. It’s always possible.

            There’s a nice little video about this on, a website dedicated to Jewish education. (It’s at The video is called Everyone Falls, and the main message is that the only thing worse than messing up is holding onto it afterwards.

            Atonement wipes the slate clean. And that means everyone’s life–no mater what you’ve done in the past–is always full of possibilities.