Science improves and saves lives, but the spiritual domain is where healing and happiness reside. In the book, “The Ego-Less Self: Achieving Peace and Tranquility Beyond All Understanding, the author, Cardwell C. Nuckols, Ph.D. presents the truth to you from his own life experiences. While it’s true that subjective experiences cannot be proven per se, there is a “knowingness” that comes from walking through the fire and coming out the other end that is of great, if not greater, value than scientific objectivity. The experience and knowingness gained from being a survivor–whether from addiction, depression, loss of a loved one, or other life-altering event–creates an opportunity for each of us to evolve to a higher spiritual plane. When seized, life’s tragedies become spiritual opportunities.
The ego is our “false self,” “mind,” or “small self.” It knows of no power greater than itself. It is self-serving and is constantly battling for survival or personal gain. It is always fighting or fleeing from some perceived fear. It will do whatever it takes to relieve itself of life’s “miseries.” But it always fails. Itself-destructive line of thinking can drive us into maladaptive behaviors designed to serve only the ego. To the ego, no one else matters. The ego is the source of all human misery.
In order for correction to take place–in other words, for joy to replace misery–there must be a change in character. There must be a simple but profound return to the Self–our Divine nature or soul. Reclaiming the Self brings spiritual healing and transformation. This is a book about healing. It is not about symptom reduction. The author shows you how the ego develops and how it causes all of the suffering in our lives. He also endeavors to show you who you really are: the Self. The Self is God immanent and is the source of happiness and unconditional love. This book is about a journey of discovery. It is about a return to the Self.
With a broad range of spiritual influences, from the Bible to Zen Buddhism, the Ego-Less SELF sets out to deflate the ego to let the true self shine through. You will begin to learn how to get rid of resentments, surrender the ego’s unconscious programs for happiness, and employ simple techniques to increase contact with consciousness. The book is available at www.hcibooks.com/p-4049-the-ego–less–self.aspx
Sherry Gaba, LCSW, is a Psychotherapist and Life Coach in private practice and on Celebrity Rehab on VH1. She is a frequent contributor to anthologies, blogs, and newsletters and a sought after speaker. Visit Sherry at www.sgabatherapy.com for information about life coaching programs, teleseminars, and webinars, and read her blogs at Counselor Magazine.com and The Law of Sobriety Blog with HCI.
This morning I had to re-read the chapter in my book “Learning to Let Go of Resistance and Attachments.” My book, “The Law of Sobriety: Attracting Positive Energy for a Powerful Recovery” comes out this Wednesday, September 1, 2010. I have bitten every one of my nails as I anxiously await the day. This has been a work in progress for over a year when I started writing the proposal, and really two and a half years ago when I landed on the radio with Dr. Drew Pinsky, and I suppose even longer than that, when I entered my first AA meeting. All of these experiences has brought me to the launching of my very own book about healing addictions.
Through this process, I have gone through many goals, one of which is just wanting to help people heal as they go through the process of getting sober. Then the goals morphed into writing a book that I could be proud of and gain some success at the same time. When I think of success, I also think of my “ego” getting in the way. I also think of getting attached to the results of this endeavor.
In my book I write, “When you live with the Law of Sobriety as your guidepost, you are able to deal with whatever is in front of you because you are not attached to having things turn out exactly as you imagined them.” This week I must confess I have been attached to having things turn out a certain way starting with expecting those around me who have been part of the process to do things “my way.” When you write a book there are many people involved in the process of getting the book out into the reader’s hands, and unfortunately sometimes their vision and way of doing things does not always match with the authors. That has been the case at times and especially this week. I am having lots of feelings that range from excitement that this is one of the biggest weeks of my career to self doubt that I will be disappointed with what may transpire this week. I keep forgetting that September 1, 2010 is only one day and that this book will be around for a very long time.
Finally, when I wrote, “When you let go of the way you believe things are supposed to be, you free yourself from negativity….the perpetual disappointment, doubt, and frustration that come when things don’t turn out as you thought they would,” I realize that is where I need to shift my focus starting right now. I am only feeling self-doubt because my expectations of people, places, and things are off the chart. I can only control my actions and no one else’s, and really in the end, it is god’s will, not mine, that is in charge. I am so glad I chose to read this excerpt today so I can free myself and surrender once again to my higher power, who I know, always has my best interest.
Sherry Gaba, LCSW, is a Psychotherapist and Life Coach in private practice and for Celebrity Rehab on VH1. Sherry is a frequent contributor to anthologies, blogs, and newsletters, and is a sought after speaker. Visit Sherry at www.sgabatherapy.com for information about life-coaching programs, teleseminars, and webinars, and read her blogs at Counselor Magazine.com and The Law of Sobriety Blog at HCI.
The trauma and grief of growing in a an alcoholic or addicted family create a lifetime of
baggage. If you grew up in an addicted family, the dysfunction that permeated every
aspect of your childhood may have seemed “normal,” and you may not even realize the level of affect alcohol still has on your adult life–whether or not you drink.
Often you chose relationships that reenact what you grew up with such as having partners that are not emotionally or physically present, such as your parents. You may find yourself contributing to enabling behaviors as your parents did growing up. You might chose to live in denial about important issues in your life, because that is the only defense mechanism you feel comfortable with when you are in pain. You might feel chronically numb (a living dead feeling) because the trauma you grew up with still lives in every cell of your being.
If you are one of the millions of Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOAs), the cost of your childhood pain can be unbearable, says Jane Middelton-Moz and Lorie Dwinell in their book “After the Tears.” (Health Communications, Inc.) You may have learned how to “survive,” but are you “living” your life? Do you fear normal conflict? Do you blame yourself when something goes wrong–even when it isn’t your fault? Are you a chaos junkie? Or do you just fear relationships because they are too difficult or too painful?
I hope to hear some of your answers to these important questions about the affects alcohol or addictions have had on your family.
Sherry Gaba, LCSW, is a Psychotherapist and Life Coach in private practice and on Celebrity Rehab on VH1. Sherry is a frequent contributor to anthologies, blogs, and newsletters, and is a sought-after speaker. Visit Sherry at www.sgabatherapy.com for information aobut life-coaching programs, teleseminars, and webinars, and read her blogs at Counselor Magazine and The Law of Sobriety Blog