Beliefnet
The Celebrity Therapist

2 Moms and a Mic

2 Moms and a Mic Listen or stream 2 Moms and a Mic at 8AM 1400 KKZZ today as I talk about having healthy boundaries with your children at 8 am PT.

After a long year of writing my book, I now am dealing with the business side of things. The creative part is being replaced by lots and lots of marketing decisions I need to make in order to get my book out there to help addicts everywhere. Unfortunately, writing the book was the easy part. The challenging part is getting the word out.
I realized that with all of this energy focused on getting the book out to the public, I have gotten lost in my ego. I have become focused more on getting the book out than getting the message out. I have been losing my way as to what my original intention was when I wrote this book. I have been feeling resentful and realize I have been making statements that are pure ego based vs. humility based.
I have hired people to do their jobs and instead of just letting that flow, I have been controlling and micro managing them. All that does is frustrate them and leaves me feeling angry that people aren’t doing things “my way.”
If you are making statements such as “I can’t believe they are doing it this way or that way” or “I have a right for it to go this way or that way” you may be ego driven, as well, and forgetting to rely on your higher power to do its job.
If you have been comparing yourself to others, all that will do is leave you feeling “less then.”
Maybe you have been forgetting, like I have, that you are not the one in charge here. You have a higher power that is ready and willing to be accessed to help you find your way back and out of your ego mode.
I hope to impart wisdom and guidance to my readers with my book. However, trying to control the outcome of where this book may land has left me feeling anxious and in fear.
I am realizing once again that only detachment can bring you the serenity and peace you are looking for. You know that all you have control over is the footwork and the actions steps; the rest is not up to you or I.
My true desire was to let those struggling with addictions, whatever they are, to know there are many roads towards recovery. My book was incubated by a deep knowing from my own experience that everyone has a calling or a purpose. I wanted this book to help individuals embrace their true essence and to go after that which they desire in their life. When I started writing this book that was my only intention at the time. I didn’t realize how difficult it actually was to get the book in the hands of readers.
I realize that a book is also a business. I get that, but to constantly be in fear that I or the book will fail is the wrong road to make a turn on. I need to back up and put my trust back in faith and surrender to whatever un-folds will occur without my trying to push things along.
If you are in a frenzy because you are more attached to the results than the process, than you may be in your ego driven state, as well. If I can surrender to not knowing, so can you. Let’s together put out an affirmation that will help us get out of our own way:
“Today I will focus on the journey vs. the outcome.”
“Today I will focus on the action but not the results of the action.”
“Today I will live in faith vs. fear.”
“Today I feel peaceful knowing my higher power is always there to assist me.”
“Today I will remove my ego out of the equation and allow my higher power to do its job.”

 

The Day of Atonement

 

The end of this week is Yom Kippur, the Jewish Day of Atonement. Sometimes it’s mistakenly thought of as the day we reflect on our mistakes and ask for forgiveness. But that’s not what atonement means. Atonement means reparation for a wrong or an injury. It means making things right.

            On Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, we reflect and repent. Tradition says that when we do, God inscribes our name in the Book of Life for another year. On Yom Kippur, God closes the book for the coming year–the judgment is sealed. Between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, we atone.

            But Yom Kippur atones only for misdeeds between humans and God–broken vows and broken rules. We take these misdeeds up with God, who looks in our hearts and forgives. To atone for sins against another person, including hurting their feelings, Jewish law says we have to take that up directly with the person we hurt. We must acknowledge what we’ve done to that person and, if at all possible, right the wrong.

            To me, this sounds a lot like steps 8 and 9 in a 12-step program. Step 8 says we make a list of all the people we’ve harmed and be willing to make amends to them all. Step 9 says we actually do make amends. It’s a kind of atonement.

            The fact that we have a period of time every year set aside for atonement tells me something interesting about us humans–something the Jews knew even in ancient times; Everybody does things they need to atone for. They do them year after year. We’re imperfect beings; there’s no getting around that. But, as imperfect as we are, we can acknowledge what we’ve don’t wrong, atone and move on. It’s always possible.

            There’s a nice little video about this on AISH.com, a website dedicated to Jewish education. (It’s at http://www.aish.com/sp/pg/101461854.html) The video is called Everyone Falls, and the main message is that the only thing worse than messing up is holding onto it afterwards.

            Atonement wipes the slate clean. And that means everyone’s life–no mater what you’ve done in the past–is always full of possibilities.

 

http://xetv.media.origin.entriq.net/xetv/video//090000201009131480_000045p0000640p3.wmv