Beliefnet
The Celebrity Therapist

My higher power once again showed up this weekend in the
most miraculous way.  I was having a bit
of a meltdown thinking of all the things that I need to take care of in the
next week.  I felt overwhelmed and
stressed and truly my feelings were an accumulation of the last year and a half
when I began to write my book.  No one
had every told me what writing a book entails.  Writing the book is just the beginning. 

 

I have been working on a 7 week audio learning program,
doing publicity for Celebrity Rehab, teleseminars, book signings, workshops,
and at the same time keeping my private practice going.  It is so much more than I could have ever
imagined in time and money to carry the message.  At times, it is actually quite scary.I know they are quality problems, all the same, very stressful.

 

All of a sudden on the Golden Gate Bridge the song “Bridge
over Troubled Waters” came on.  Right
then and there while I was in my melt down right on the bridge. I could not
believe it.  There are certainly no
accidents because as I listened to the lyrics my faith that everything was
going to work out was renewed.  I knew my
higher power was leading the way and all I had to do is stay in the footwork
and get out of the results, as we say in the rooms of 12 step meetings.  These were the words that I needed to hear at
that exact time: 

“Sail on Silver Girl,
Sail on by
Your time has come to shine
All your dreams are on their way”

 

Here are the lyrics:

 

When you’re weary
Feeling small
When tears are in your eyes
I will dry them all

I’m on your side
When times get rough
And friends just can’t be found
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down

When you’re down and out
When you’re on the street
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you

I’ll take your part
When darkness comes
And pain is all around
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down

Sail on Silver Girl,
Sail on by
Your time has come to shine
All your dreams are on their way

See how they shine
If you need a friend
I’m sailing right behind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind

 

 

When you’re weary
Feeling small
When tears are in your eyes
I will dry them all

I’m on your side
When times get rough
And friends just can’t be found
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down

When you’re down and out
When you’re on the street
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you

I’ll take your part
When darkness comes
And pain is all around
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down

Sail on Silver Girl,
Sail on by
Your time has come to shine
All your dreams are on their way

See how they shine
If you need a friend
I’m sailing right behind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind

Sherry Gaba, LCSW, is a psychotherapist and life coach.  She facilitates teleseminars, workshops, and has produced a seven week audio learning series based on her book, The Law of Sobriety, and two meditation downloads free if you purchase the audio series.  She specializes in all addictions: gambling, sex and love, co-dependency, internet, food, alcohol, drugs, and shopping.  She can be reached at sherry@sgabatherapy.com or thelawofsobriety.com.

I have wanted to post a blog about this subject for a long time and finally the blog came to me this morning.  I could not write anything nearly as concise as this wonderful article by Anonymous One so I decided to post it for you today. I hope it is helpful as you move beyond your addiction into a career or job you desire.
 http://www.anonymousone.com/faq152.htm

Now
that Celebrity Rehab 4 is going to be airing, I notice I have
butterflies in my stomach.  That familiar feeling that are people going
to be judging me again for my work on Celebrity Rehab.  No one can judge
me more than I sometimes judge myself for many things, but not this.  I
totally have loved every minute working behind the scenes and in front
of the camera during the filming of the show.  Like I have always said,
the show plants seeds for the celebrities as well as the viewers.  It
completely resonates with the work I do although it is television.

I believe celebrities are truly not all that different than anyone
suffering from an addiction.  Although sometimes, there are “yes” people
that surround them, they have the same pain any one of us in the
disease has.  The celebrities this year worked on issues in a very deep
and profound way.  For the first time, we explored childhood trauma in a
very gut wrenching and real way and I am proud of every single one of
them.

I have been accused of being a “fraud” by many including people who I
thought were my friends and colleagues.  Dr. Drew once told me to get
used to that because there is a lot of “jealousy” out there.  I don’t
mind being open about this because I love what I do inside and outside 
the set helping people get clean and sober and fulfill their wildest
dreams.  That is why I wrote the book “The Law of Sobriety.” 
Again, I have many people who love my book and perhaps I have helped
them with the message.  Again, there are others who are jealous and
diminish the time and effort I put into writing the book, but they are
entitled to their opinions.  I know my truth, but I am also in recovery
and can be hurt and feel the pain of others  judgments like anyone
else.  That is the price you pay when you are public.  I am sure many
others out there in the public feel the same way, but I just speak what
some can’t say.

When your values align with your true essence, you are doing the
things you are good at and truly enjoy. You are making choices that
honor your values. What are the moments in your life that have been
especially fulfilling or rewarding? In those moments, you were aligned
with your values. And in those moments, the energy of the universe
filled you with drive and fulfillment and peace.  That is how I feel
everyday because my work is my calling and my purpose, and I am so
grateful that I get to wake up doing what I love each and every day.

Sometimes us psychotherapists and healers are so busy helping others learn how to give themselves the self care they need, we forget to give it to ourselves.  There are different names for it, but I think “caregiver burnout” describes it perfectly.  As Thanksgiving approaches, I realize I may be approaching burn out.  As addicts and alcoholics, you know that old saying HALT (Hungry,Angry,Lonely, Tired) are the things you need to avoid or relapse may be a step away.  I am definitely feeling tired.  I am grateful for all the wonderful things this year has brought me, but at the same time, I need a big pause.  As I watch myself go on autopilot, I realize that it is time to be still, meditate, slow down, and be present.  Those are some of the things that are part of my self-care regimen.  What about you?

 

Most
of us believe, in theory, that we should make efforts to take better
care of ourselves, through better eating, more exercise, or working our
recovery programs. But we can fall into the trap of forgetting to engage
or these behaviors. Under the surface, there might be another reason we
don’t follow through: we don’t really believe that we deserve to tend to our personal well-being. Self-care is often erroneously and critically labeled selfishness. It’s not. Even Jesus and Gandhi took time for themselves, withdrawing from the crowds to tend to their spirits.

 

Time
spent in self-care fills us up so we can give of ourselves and not be
left dried and shriveled up like last summer’s grapes left on the vine.
Most of us can relate to the feeling of running on empty. This
automotive analogy is actually a good one. What can our car do for us
with no gasoline in the tank? Be a large, shiny driveway ornament? Not
so useful. So why do we expect ourselves to be able to run and give and
work and cook and clean and put on a happy face with nothing fueling us?
It’s crazy, and it’s high time we kick crazy to the curb.

 

Make
yourself a priority. Make the time to do the things that fill you up.
For some, it may be a leisurely stroll on the beach. For others, 30
uninterrupted minutes with a great book. Or a fabulous bike ride or
coffee with your friends or seeing your loving therapist (see how I slid
that one in?). Or seeing a movie in the theater. It
doesn’t have to be a week long trip to Tahiti (though if you get the
opportunity, I highly recommend jumping at it). In fact, they should be
the small things that you love. The ones that bring you peace and a
sense of reconnection with yourself. Small things are doable and can be
easily incorporated into your everyday life. Pick a few and put them on
your calendar, in your Blackberry, whatever — and then actually do them.

 

For
those resisters who think, “I can’t possibly take that time. I won’t be
able to be there as much for my kids and spouse and boss” — stop making
excuses. Because, honestly, that’s what that is. If your kids or spouse
or boss had to choose between someone who was happy and creative and
energized when they were with them or someone who was barely hanging on
by a thread, who do you think they would choose? Who would you
choose? By investing in yourself, you create dividends to extend to
those around you. When you’re running on empty, all you’re giving them
are your fumes. Not pleasant.

 

Put
aside those faulty notions of the nobility of killing yourself for the
greater good. Realize that your greatest gift to give others is the best
version of yourself.
  Remember, you are “enough” and that “more” is not always better, especially when you have too much on your plate. So go ahead, take that sacred pause.  You absolutely deserve it.