Beliefnet
The Celebrity Therapist

http://weblogs.wpix.com/news/local/morningnews/blogs/2010/12/celebrity_rehab_sherry_gaba.html

http://thelawofsobriety.com/how-to-attract-positive-energy/ Brand New Audio Program on How to Attract Positive Energy and Eliminate All Addictions

Celebrity Rehab 4 started airing last week, and one of the main dynamics in those first two hours was the tension between Janice Dickinson and Jason Davis. The trouble started when Jason began making unkind remarks about the fact that Janice had plastic surgery.

     Jason is a billionaire, thanks to his grandfather, who ran Davis Oil Company. He had a very rough relationship with his father and was raised by his grandfather. When Jason’s grandfather died, he started making headlines for his issues with drugs and alcohol. Jason is also overweight and diabetic.

     Why would Jason go after Janice like that? It’s likely there are a couple of reasons. One real possibility is that it’s a way for him to feel he has some power and control over his situation, because he can now make Janice react to him whenever he wants to. Addicts are essentially living out-of-control lives, and creating a situation where they can control someone else makes them feel they actually have some power. I think that may be why he is targeting Janice specifically–she seems easy to upset.

     Also, when people are sharp with others they don’t really know, it can be a way to pre-empt their dislike: “She doesn’t like me because I have been rude to her, not because I am unattractive or unlikable.” That’s a sign of terrible insecurity, someone who is afraid no one will ever like them.

     But I think there’s something else going on, too. Addicts always have a facade–a false self–that they put on. Janice, who has had plastic surgery, is literally wearing a false face. In that way, she reminds Jason of himself; he is also wearing a kind of false face. But we don’t like people who remind us of the parts of ourselves we don’t like. It can be painful to look in a mirror when you don’t like what you see.

 


 “Shopaholic” is a funny, made-up word for what can be a very
serious addiction to shopping–I mean shopping for things you don’t need and
spending money you don’t have. Like other addictions, it’s an artificial way to
make yourself feel good and avoid coping with the things that make you feel
bad. It’s not just about buying another pair of cute shoes–it’s spending that
has gotten so out of control that you’re experiencing negative consequences in
your life.

            The shopping
addiction tends to be worse around the holidays, because shopaholics who feel
some guilt about buying a lot of things for themselves can get around that by
shopping for others. But it’s important to remember that people don’t actually
enjoy being overwhelmed by large numbers of gifts. A single thoughtful present
is always appreciated, but an avalanche of stuff just creates clutter for the
recipient.

            So how do you
get through the holiday shopping without overdoing it? The most important step
is to make a shopping list. Write down the names of all the people you plan to
buy a holiday gift for. Then spend several days thinking about the one thing
each person would really like. Consider all the things you know about that
person and select a gift for them. Write it down next to their name.

            Then write down
about how much you plan to spend on the gift. When you’re done, add up all the
costs and make sure it’s an amount you can afford–today. Not next week or next month when you get your next paycheck,
or when you think the credit card bills will come. If your total is more than
you an afford right now, revise your
list.

            This is your
holiday shopping list, and it’s all you
are going to buy.

            If you love to shop simply to enjoy the holiday spirit in the
stores, spread out your shopping over several weekends. Just buy a few things
on each shopping trip. As you buy each item on your list, cross it off.  Take the gift home and wrap it yourself, so
you can really enjoy the process and think about how happy the recipient will
be to get this one gift.

            If you’re
really worried you won’t be able to stick to your list, take someone with you
whoever you go shopping. Tell them what you plan to buy that day, and promise
you’ll go for coffee or hot chocolate as soon as you’ve found all the items
you’re looking for.

             Then enjoy your day out with your friend, the
decorations and music in the stores, the bustle of the crowds, and the
satisfaction of crossing each item off your list. You don’t need anything more.

My higher power once again showed up this weekend in the
most miraculous way.  I was having a bit
of a meltdown thinking of all the things that I need to take care of in the
next week.  I felt overwhelmed and
stressed and truly my feelings were an accumulation of the last year and a half
when I began to write my book.  No one
had every told me what writing a book entails.  Writing the book is just the beginning. 

 

I have been working on a 7 week audio learning program,
doing publicity for Celebrity Rehab, teleseminars, book signings, workshops,
and at the same time keeping my private practice going.  It is so much more than I could have ever
imagined in time and money to carry the message.  At times, it is actually quite scary.I know they are quality problems, all the same, very stressful.

 

All of a sudden on the Golden Gate Bridge the song “Bridge
over Troubled Waters” came on.  Right
then and there while I was in my melt down right on the bridge. I could not
believe it.  There are certainly no
accidents because as I listened to the lyrics my faith that everything was
going to work out was renewed.  I knew my
higher power was leading the way and all I had to do is stay in the footwork
and get out of the results, as we say in the rooms of 12 step meetings.  These were the words that I needed to hear at
that exact time: 

“Sail on Silver Girl,
Sail on by
Your time has come to shine
All your dreams are on their way”

 

Here are the lyrics:

 

When you’re weary
Feeling small
When tears are in your eyes
I will dry them all

I’m on your side
When times get rough
And friends just can’t be found
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down

When you’re down and out
When you’re on the street
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you

I’ll take your part
When darkness comes
And pain is all around
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down

Sail on Silver Girl,
Sail on by
Your time has come to shine
All your dreams are on their way

See how they shine
If you need a friend
I’m sailing right behind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind

 

 

When you’re weary
Feeling small
When tears are in your eyes
I will dry them all

I’m on your side
When times get rough
And friends just can’t be found
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down

When you’re down and out
When you’re on the street
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you

I’ll take your part
When darkness comes
And pain is all around
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down

Sail on Silver Girl,
Sail on by
Your time has come to shine
All your dreams are on their way

See how they shine
If you need a friend
I’m sailing right behind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind

Sherry Gaba, LCSW, is a psychotherapist and life coach.  She facilitates teleseminars, workshops, and has produced a seven week audio learning series based on her book, The Law of Sobriety, and two meditation downloads free if you purchase the audio series.  She specializes in all addictions: gambling, sex and love, co-dependency, internet, food, alcohol, drugs, and shopping.  She can be reached at sherry@sgabatherapy.com or thelawofsobriety.com.