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The Celebrity Therapist

Sherry Gaba LCSW, Psychotherapist, Life & Recovery Coach is featured Celebrity Rehab on VH1. Sherry is the author of  The Law of Sobriety which uses the law of attraction to recover from any addiction. Please download your Free EBooks from Sherry™s Enrich Your Life Series. Contact Sherry at sherry@sgabatherapy.com for webinars, teleseminars, coaching packages and speaking engagements. Listen to Sherry on A Moment of Change with Sherry Gaba on CBS.

One of the issues that I talk about in my book “The Law of Sobriety”is the importance of being able to forgive ourselves and to forgive others. Failure to forgive, for whatever reason, leads to seeing ourselves as a victim, forever at the mercy of someone else. It prevents us from letting go of the negative emotions, images and thoughts that surround the particular event, interaction or transgression. The more we hold on to those feelings of blame towards the other person or ourselves the more that we send out negativity, which only results in bringing negativity back.Think about someone that you believe has wronged you in the past. See the situation again, but this time try to be an observer, not a participant. This is not always easy, but, however you replay the situation, ask yourself the following:

  • What am a gaining by not forgiving as it relates to this person, situation or event?
  • Is holding this blame providing options for growth or keeping me from moving forward?
  • What control over my life am I giving the person, event, place or situation by not letting go and forgiving?

Once you look at the scenario as to the negativity it is bringing into your life, the easier it will be to see the positive value of forgiving and letting go. Once you have let go and provided forgiveness you are now able to see the scenario differently, from a learning and growing experience. You are then able to reframe the situation to ask yourself:

  • What have I gained by forgiving?
  • What can I learn from this experience that will help in my positive growth?
  • What new freedoms do I have spiritually, emotionally and mentally now that this negativity is gone from my life?

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