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Backrub chains appear frequently at youth groups and bible camps. Whenever pubescent* Christians of mixed gender are gathered to study the Bible or worship, the likelihood that a backrub chain will form is increased tenfold.

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The ring is ideally given to a girl by her dad, but if he isn’t on the scene or is otherwise apathetic then she might get one herself or ask her mom for one, either because she really does want to make this commitment or possibly because the Jonas Brothers wear them. (Bristol Palin had one too.)

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Sometimes in youth group a guy will stand up and ask for prayer for his chronic masturbation. Accountability partners are assigned so they can keep tabs on how they’re not whacking off. The youth group leader approaches guys at church retreats and asks “Do you struggle with masturbating?”

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Christian women give this to each other at bridal showers and as it is unwrapped they say cheerfully “It’s a married woman’s best friend!” If you find this unsettling, that feeling is valid.

This question is as acutely personal as asking “How’s sex with your wife?” and yet many Christians feel entitled to casually ask it of each other.

This is the complete inverse of waiting to kiss until your wedding day. Since you’re not technically doing it, you can still technically remain pure.

Who does this? Well, a lot of Christians do. If you google it you’ll find blogs and message boards filled with accounts of people who are waiting for their wedding day to kiss someone, anyone, for the first time.

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