Stuff Christian Culture Likes


This shows your devotion to the Jesus while letting everyone know you feel you are edgy. It is most commonly located on the Christian’s ankle.

Wherever you go, past and present members of Christian culture will be familiar with this movie, having seen it at least twelve times during youth group events or slumber parties. Good luck spending a summer working at Christian camp without hearing it quoted daily. “Inconceivable!” “No more rhymes now, I mean it! Anybody got a peanut?” “Have fun storming the castle!” “You are eeeeen the peeeet of dispaaaair.” and of course “My name is Inigo Montoya…” […post-traumatic stress disorder won’t let me from type the rest of that quote.]

In 7th grade I was sleeping over with my homeschooled friend who was forbidden to listen to the radio or watch any TV. Somehow her parents decreed that The Princess Bride was acceptable for viewing, except for the one part where there is a bad word. Her mom sat with us and watched the movie until the bad-word-part was near, then she tried to fast-forward over it. But instead of skipping the bad word, she landed squarely on it and pressed play and Inigo Montoya said “I want my father back, you son of a bitch.” As I remember, she was pretty upset about this.

Studies show that homeschooling is preferred two to one amongst Christian culture families. They often cite a reason for homeschooling is a way to protect their kids from the world.

Studies also show that homeschooled kids move through their studies at a rapid rate and often graduate ahead of schedule. Unscientific studies have shown that homeschooled kids are not known for being comfortable with people outside of their small circle of family and church friends. There are kids out there who are homeschooled and are not social misfits, but the record shows they are the exception.  When this writer was a counselor at a Christian camp, we would watch the new campers get off the bus every week and identify the homeschooled ones with great accuracy. They usually stick out.

Julie and I were discussing this last night.

Julie: “Why does every evangelical Christian listen to Coldplay? It’s shitty art!”

Me: “It’s innocuous, that’s why they like it.”

Julie: “But does innocuous mean you should listen to it? It doesn’t make you think or make you feel any way other than just kind of numb. All of my Christian culture friends have Coldplay on their Facebook profiles.”

I think she makes a decent case.


*For the record I don’t think Coldplay is outright shitty, I just think it is sort of uninspired yet highly listen-able. A bit like Christian culture.