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Christian culture advocate Kirk Cameron (aka Mike Seaver) released a statement after his lovable compadre Andrew Koenig (aka Boner) passed away. “At a time like this, we are all reminded of the briefness of life and the importance of being ready for our eternal destination.”

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Kirk’s giving it to you straight. Dare you click skip intro?

This statement is pretty loyal to Christian culture’s preoccupation with timelines and the attaining of goals. Christian culture doesn’t spend much time wondering if there is any value in process and journey. Maybe if we’re lucky they will both prove to be valuable, and if we’re really lucky we might realize heaven and hell exist beyond biblical metaphor. And if we’re really, really lucky, Kirk will release a statement apologizing for the raciness of costarring with somebody named Boner.

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