Stuff Christian Culture Likes

Stuff Christian Culture Likes

#96 Playing Guitar Praise in lieu of Guitar Hero

Christian culture needed an alternative to the degenerate Guitar Hero, so they made their own version. Now you don’t have to pretend to play guitar along to secular music. With Guitar Praise you can pretend to play guitar along to Christian music that has been run through Auto-Tune and injected with silicone.

Guitar Praise lets you “rock out” to contemporary Christian songs that each sound like a Creed/Jonas Brothers mash-up. The website for Guitar Praise says “You’ll soon be rockin’ with the best while praising the Lord!”


Christian culture’s idea of “rockin'” is as questionable as their definition of the word “best.” Rather than violate your soul with secular music, violate your senses with this! Is God glorified by the Christian-ifying of video games? Christian culture seems to think so.
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The Disorganized Thoughts of a B-type Personality

posted August 27, 2009 at 12:35 pm

I wont lie, I kinda wanna buy it. It will sit proudly on the shelf next to Rock Band, Guitar Hero, and Guitar Hero III, and maybe, just maybe, will invite them to church.

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posted August 27, 2009 at 12:52 pm

If you take your shoes off while playing, do you get a Praise Bonus?

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posted August 27, 2009 at 2:35 pm

Good one, David.

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posted August 27, 2009 at 3:01 pm

Do all the songs on this sound the same, the way they do in CCM? That's my big complaint–all the bands and all the songs sound the same.

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posted August 27, 2009 at 3:06 pm

Steve, yeah. You can hear them at the site. But one of the songs is about Africa, sung by someone with a Jamaican accent. (Christians love Africa.)

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posted August 27, 2009 at 5:31 pm

"Is God glorified by the Christian-ifying of video games? "Ummm, no.Yeah, pretty sure of that one actually.See Steph, it's stuff like this that makes me like your blog, because I too want to bang my head into the keyboard when I find about this kind of stuff. (this was the first I heard of this thing BTW)What a cheapening of such a beautiful gospel.

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posted August 27, 2009 at 5:32 pm

I'm only playing this game if it's featured on a mega-church jumbotron.

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posted August 27, 2009 at 5:34 pm

BTW . . LOL @ David&I'm right there with you Steve. I'm a musician and even play in my church's worship, but I find a majority (not all) of Christian music to be pretty bad and a parody of itself. There's some decent stuff out there though, if you're interested, depends on what genres you like.

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Mark (under construction)

posted August 28, 2009 at 6:51 am

I would like to see Christian Twister played – like the white spots could be called purity, the red spots the blood and so on.I love it when Christians transform worldly games indeed I do.

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posted August 28, 2009 at 10:18 am

These are brutal. At the church where I help out with youth group, we use guitar hero. The church is pretty conservative, so I've been mildly surprised by this. Cheap imitation is always bad. dave

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pete in oregon

posted August 28, 2009 at 11:17 am

So, when does the "Christian" version of Rock Band come out? It could be called Worship Band. And when your band mates mess up too much you can raise your hands and pray for them.

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posted August 28, 2009 at 11:21 am

So, this is the answer to "be in the world not of the world"?Wacky.

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posted August 28, 2009 at 3:09 pm

This is horrific in the best possible way.

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Good Girls Studio

posted August 29, 2009 at 5:05 pm

how have I never seen this ? Is Jesus Love Me on there??? @David..hahahahah

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posted August 29, 2009 at 6:51 pm

I just found this review of Guitar Praise on BoingBoing and it made me laugh out loud –

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posted August 29, 2009 at 8:04 pm

This whole blog is most fascinating and explains a lot.

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posted August 29, 2009 at 8:38 pm

i used to work at a christian bookstore, and we sold this crappy game. boy do i mean crappy, the graphics are cheap and you play to the lowest bit rate mp3 not the actual recording, and yes there is a worship band version of rock band out, the funny part there is that you use rock band peripherals. btw steph i really love your site.

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posted August 29, 2009 at 10:08 pm

Dan, that is hilarious. I bet in the Christian version of Rock Band they have a glove the singer wears to determine if they have raised their hands.

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posted August 30, 2009 at 12:01 am

I'm not even remotely saying that I would buy it but, playing the devil's advocate here (pun TOTALLY obvious but unintended), I don't think some of these comments are necessary. Where's the voice of Paul in Phil. 1:18 saying "…as long as Christ is preached."? I mean, go ahead and villify the hearts of those greedy people who try to exploit faith as a demographic. But, for heaven's sake, be grateful that there are some fathers, mothers, and others out there who just might be doing it so their kids can enjoy a video game without the lyrics of AFI's "Miss Murder", "Lay Down" by Priestess, or the outright Anti-Christian lyrics of Slayer singing "Raining Blood" over and over again while they try to get a better score. Seriously, is it possible too big a deal is being made out of this?

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posted August 31, 2009 at 7:12 am

you have made my fathers house a den of theives

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posted August 31, 2009 at 2:26 pm

I wouldn't want my kids to keep away from AFI for their lyrics, I'd want them to keep away from AFI for fear of them dressing like morons.

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posted September 1, 2009 at 10:52 am

I gleaned everything I need to know about this game by the fact the guitars upside down in the picture.

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posted September 1, 2009 at 12:18 pm

Maybe it's not upside down, just left-handed. Wait…nah.

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posted September 1, 2009 at 1:35 pm

I just read most of this blog… haha. Brings back a lot of memories, but just the lighthearted, quirky ones. Great job. You write well. – Jason

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rotten apples

posted September 1, 2009 at 2:29 pm

how could you not want your kids to listen to slayer? my favorite lyric of theirs is from 'god hates us all' (it's a great album, sc, you should pick it up): "i keep my bible in a pool of blood, so its lies cannot affect me."i honestly can't think of a better sentiment for children. awesome blog, btw.

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David Morning

posted September 1, 2009 at 2:41 pm

Personally I'm all for this. Those kids stuck in fundamentalist households need good games too (even if it isn't as good as the original)

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posted September 1, 2009 at 3:48 pm

StephI think you should write something concerning the protestant work ethic. I know that it’s not the same theological or economical situation as it was in Weber's day but I have a sense that Evangelicals, true to their conservative fashion, have a bone to pick with the unemployed, especially, the unemployed on welfare. While at the same time remaining rather sanctimonious about the love-hate relationship with their job—they hate their job, in its alienating approach, but their pay check makes them feel rather pious. I guess I am amazed at the irony of the Evangelical mantra towards charity while at the same time condemning the homeless and unemployed as lazy and irresponsible

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Former Christian Culture member

posted September 1, 2009 at 4:37 pm

Oh, this makes me think of the equally awful DDR rip-off called "Dance Praise"…

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posted September 1, 2009 at 5:30 pm

OMG (are you even aloud to say that on this blog) I love your blog! So fucking funny.We had the same upbringing, no doubt.

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posted September 1, 2009 at 6:57 pm

By the way, your traffic's probably gone up because you got linked at Metafilter. discussion there, too. And I was so glad they did, because this site is superdelicious. Do you ever read Slacktivist? does what you do in a much longer form, in Christian "lit", but often just as funny. Good stuff.

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posted September 2, 2009 at 8:22 am

I think this game is hilarious. I've never played it, but someone told me that I'm on it. I HAVE played DDR's praise version at a Christian music festival and it was silly but fun. Who doesn't want to dance to "Jesus Freak"? Okay, maybe you don't, but I sure do!

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The Nerd

posted September 2, 2009 at 8:49 am

Haha, my family has this one, and they think it is the coolest thing ever! Nothing particularly wrong with it, but I personally can't imagine Guitar Hero without an awesome Ozzy riff somewhere in the deal.

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posted September 2, 2009 at 9:12 am

You start out playing at a smaller church, and when your worship team becomes popular, you play at a megachurch with a jumbo tron. Everyone will see how worshipful my electronic band is!

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posted September 2, 2009 at 11:25 am

Martin Luther said it best: "A Christian shoemaker doesn't put crosses on their shoes, they make good shoes." Praise Guitar is not good shoes.

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posted September 2, 2009 at 11:29 am

Jesse, that's exactly it. Thanks for that.

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posted September 2, 2009 at 2:56 pm

Be careful when visiting family members that are evangelical christians, I was once forced into playing a christian version of dance dance revolution. It had music that sounded like Creed and the sound was not really in sync. Awfull, I tell you.

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posted September 2, 2009 at 9:48 pm

I guess I can forget walking into the youth ministries and Hearing "Balls To The Wall" from the Guitar Hero soundtrack now. Oh well.

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posted September 3, 2009 at 5:58 pm

There is a comment you might want to delete on #93–it's the last one. Some people are so gross…

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posted September 3, 2009 at 9:17 pm

Steph, I heard you on the Church of Lazlo radio show yesterday and I am glad I did. Was raised southern baptist all my life and then went to college and found the devil, "philosophy", so I feel ya. Keep up the good work!

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posted September 4, 2009 at 7:59 am

No, the Church isn't full of reactionary anti-creativity or anything. Morons. Keith Green almost puked when he saw a piggy bank with the words "Jesus Saves" on it. Wonder how he'd deal with this shit.

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Still Breathing

posted September 5, 2009 at 3:46 am

Dave, Why do you think people laugh at this:How many Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?Change? What's wrong with the old one!There are definitely elements in the church that oppose all change.

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J.R. Herbaugh

posted September 6, 2009 at 6:55 am

Found the site through disinfo, read the whole thing, and thought of more:Vacation Bible SchoolAfter-School activities for kidsAdoptionBeing sent to third-world countries on missions and then asking for more money for biblesSaying Good Morning to the congregation and the congregation says Good Morning back.Putting a big bloody cross in the background behind the altar.Replacing the cloths that decorate the pulpit every few weeks with cloths of a different color. The color represents something but nobody in the congregation could tell you what.Having children stand in a line in front of the congregation and reciting some lines into a microphone, and calling it a Christmas play.Putting up a Christmas tree, or two, or three, inside the church.Replacing the vandalized wooden cutouts of the nativity scene.Handing out voting guides from the Christian Coalition.Having a giant churchyard and using it twice a year.Mowing a giant churchyard every five days.Putting ads in the paper that proclaim your church is "Bible-believing."Barbecuing chicken in a pit and selling it in a Styrofoam container with baked beans and coleslaw as a fund-raiser. Coleslaw, coleslaw, coleslawHolding pot-luck lunches after church. The church provides the ham. You bring the coleslaw or the baked beans with hot dog slices.Obtaining day-old bread donations from the supermarket. Half of it goes home with the volunteers because some beggars are choosers.Not locking the room with the Xerox machine very well, thereby unwittingly supplying materials for zines.Some of these may only apply to the church I grew up with.

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Kim Reid

posted September 6, 2009 at 11:21 am

Again, the christian community has to treat the world like lepers and create their "own version". No thank you. I prefer to build bridges, not walls.

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posted September 6, 2009 at 4:27 pm

This site is great; I'm not an evangelical, nor politically conservative, but I'm certianly guilty of some of these. Thanks stephy.

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posted September 7, 2009 at 12:59 am

This blog makes me somehow strangely love the fact that I was totally a sap for this kind of crap at one point in my life and the comments make me love the fact that I don't believe a stitch of it anymore. Seriously, the "Anonymous" rabble-rouser-fo'-Christ on the Marrying Your Best Friend post has really got her panties in a bunch, jeez.This is truly classic stuff and couldn't be more dead on. And I only grew up Lutheran! But of course, you're totally going to Hell for it, right? No worries, I'll gladly hang out with you there.

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Still Breathing

posted September 9, 2009 at 2:31 am

Incidently what's wrong with a real guitar? You can play both religious and secular music on the same instrument.

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posted September 10, 2009 at 8:04 pm

I have to wonder if any of the songs Cartman sang in the 'South Park' episode about Christian Music made it to the game…"I want to get on my knees and please Jesus!"

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posted September 24, 2009 at 2:06 am

Pretty cool post. I just came by your blog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed browsing your posts.After reading this all I am eager to play this guitar praise.Please help me from where I may get this so I can also play this.vitamine c

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posted September 24, 2009 at 8:15 am

I can't believe someone actually MADE this game… well, actually I can. It was inevitable. We've had a satirical "Worship Team Hero" group on facebook for a few years now. Check it out.

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Rich E

posted September 29, 2009 at 11:57 am

Wow there's a Christian version of Guitar hero !Whats guitar hero ?

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Mel T

posted October 1, 2009 at 8:27 pm

Hill: I'm laffin, thanks.

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Anthony Jacques

posted October 11, 2009 at 7:05 am

Wow, in all my years as a music pastor (before I took the blinders off) I still don't think I would've gotten into this. I really never liked Christian music in the first place… which made choosin worship especially hard. I focused on good arrangements I guess.That game is just nuts.

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Mel T

posted October 11, 2009 at 9:59 am

Historical Christianity in 5 Words or Less.

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posted November 7, 2009 at 12:51 am

oh, good grief. i've only read a few posts, but it seems more like a christian culture bashing site than a satire. SCL keeps it light and funny (generally), but this is just bashing. so you don't like the music on this game. someone does. it may be totally rockin' for some. don't bash it. there are people out there trying to redeem the original game for God's kindgom (another thing Christians like to do.) don't destroy their efforts. i certainly don't enjoy all of the songs on the original guitar hero (mostly because of the things endorsed by some lyrics and how (little) the characters are dressed.) if i were a parent, i'd probably want a cleaner version of the game for my kids. people are trying to do that, so support (and CONSTRUCTIVELY critique, if necessary) them. [steps off soapbox] :)

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Mel T

posted November 7, 2009 at 10:48 am

Trying to redeem the original game for God's kindgom.

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posted November 10, 2009 at 2:18 pm

I have the game and was disapointed. It's just ok, nothing flashy with very basic gameplay. The worst part for me is the songs. I don't know many of them and I've been a Christian all my life! Fortunately, I have Jamband now and that game rocks and has a lot more features than guitar praise. I also get to use my old guitar praise guitar with jamband so i don't have to spend more $ on more controllers. Jamband has really, really great songs and you can plug in up to 4 microphones and 2 instruments too. You can play drums! Bass or guitar. My suggestion for anyone looking at a christian guitar hero or rock band game is to buy jamband.

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Mel T

posted November 10, 2009 at 2:29 pm

Cool. When we turn 18, which party should we register to vote for?

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posted August 16, 2010 at 1:49 pm

After spending a week and my grandma’s house with my home schooled cousins, I am actually really good at this game. Every song sounds like a clone of some other song that was popular in the 90’s. Remember nu metal? Guitar praise sure does!

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posted December 2, 2010 at 9:24 pm

Take note of this
Gituar Hero: 49.99 – up to 4 players
Gituar Praise: 149.99 – 2 players

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posted July 24, 2013 at 12:36 am

22741 686520I likewise conceive thus, perfectly written post! . 691397

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