Last April, I signed a contract with BeliefNet to write and publish a daily blog.
In fact, this entry has been written and rewritten four times. (I’m feeling a bit like Jeremiah, the prophet.) Each time I finished the entry, I saved it as a draft and the finished work disappeared. There were several reasons why I didn’t copy it by the third time I lost it. However, that’s another blog.
Yesterday, after my great losses, I was ready to throw in a wet towel and forget it all. Then my kind editor, Sharon Kirk, wrote me several times trying to encourage me, even though I had not told her my thoughts of blog murder.
Each time I’ve decided to stop this entire process, something has happened to abort my intentions. In short, I believe the Lord’s hand holds me here because of the joy. You, the reader, is the greatest joy for me and every other writer. It takes an enormous ego to think you have enough to say that others should read your thoughts. Readers verify the notion of a writer’s ego. Therefore, it is a joyful event when I realize someone actually reads my words.
The other reason I continue is the joy of expression. This isn’t an ego thing but a marvelously humbling understanding that there are times that the Holy Spirit has spoken throw my haltering words. Speaker and author, Iverna Thompkins once said that you know a thought is from the Lord when that thought is smarter than you are. It’s the same with the written word. Rereading sometimes produces massive rewrites. Yet, there are marvelously happy times when rereading speaks to my heart in a unique way. Then I acknowledge that the Lord has seen fit to invade my heart and life though the words written.
Each day, there is a sense of anticipation that perhaps today may be the day that the Lord again chooses to use the words written to touch another person’s heart. Therefore, in spite of the frustrations, I’m back again today. God has me here and I’m joyfully happy about this. And tomorrow is another day.