“That” mom is different for everyone. Some people dread seeing that mom that is perfect. Some may not want to that mom who seems angry and on edge. Yesterday, I was hoping I would not be that latter mom, as I was so her the day before. I can have a lot of patience and then sometimes it seems like I have none…zilch…zero. But it’s because a lot has led up to it. My four year old is still adjusting to not being the baby and acts out, plus he’s four and they’re crazy.
As for being that mom that is perfect has NEVER been me. I’ve always been too much something and not enough something else for that. I met one of these moms recently and she had the figure, that perfectly highlighted hair, you already knew what her house would look like, and her kids will reflect her magazine cover of “This is what your life should look like.” She is BFF’s with “Mrs. Should,” that woman who represents all your should in your own life. I wanted to be that mom that is perfect, has it all together, not as many junk drawers as me…in fact, she has none. Her drawers have organizers in them. When I’d meet that mom in the past, I’d beat myself up. In my twenties, I’d really want to be her. Life looked so easy for her. She made parenting look easy too. Truth is, it’s not real. Yes, there are women out there who maybe are really that mom in their home as well as their public persona. But it doesn’t have anything to do with me. I’m perfectly me. Comparison and competition will only make you feel like a loser at some point. Just win at being you. Focus on your own race, lane, green grass, life…and be that mom/dad/person who is happy with themselves.
Back to my beach day madness two days ago. I could feel this older couples eyes on me when my son was acting up on the beach. The crowds had thinned out so there wasn’t as much distraction, as in you can’t see our crazy show going on. “Stop throwing sand. Don’t kick your brother. Come here. Seamus, Seamus….SEAMUS!!!!” Yep, I’m that mom you judge for her kid being very spirited. Good thing he’s cute. When a mom is having a moment like that, smile at her. It’s a reassurance without any words. You’re telling her you’ve been there, you can see she’s trying and that her kid is not evil. When she raises her voice and grabs his hand to show she means business and needs respect in order to keep her kids safe. When you are that mom, on the beach, in the grocery store, on the playground, struggling with your kids and having the judgment eyes on you it can make you feel alone, angry, and like the worst mom EVER. Less judgement and more compassion always feels better in our being. We’re all trying to do our best for the most part. Let’s try to lift each other up. To see peace in the world, let’s be peaceful people with our minds and hearts on our own neck of the woods. And relax. Be easy on yourself. Forgive and let go quickly. This goes for your kids and yourself as well.