I am someone who once I decided to live outside of my comfort zone, I have found new ones I had to move past. It’s all part of the learning, growing, living, and learning cycle of life to me. Last year, I did my first public speaking gig as an author’s talk in my town, where I spoke to people about writing, my journey, and my novel “The Jennifers.” I was asked to do another one at another library after I was featured in the local paper. I also worked along side my friend, Sheree Bykofsky, the fabulous author, speaker, literary agent, doing a writing workshop, where I spoke about my experience with self-publishing. Right before I delivered my fifth child, I spoke about reinvention at a STEPS event. And about a month ago, I spoke at our local high school about my struggles at a teen with bulimia, cutting, depression, anxiety, attempting suicide, and where I wanted to give the teens who are currently going through anything difficult, some hope for their future. I was very honest about my panic attacks, weight loss experience, etc. as an adult also and how you are ultimately responsible for your own happiness always.
I never thought I would do any of this, let alone be an author and a blogger. And I never thought I’d be a Beachbody® Coach or fitness one for that matter, although people have been asking my advice on weight loss, diet, and exercise for years, once they see my before and afters, so I thought, why not? Except that selling is outside of my comfort zone. I wanted to give everything away for free. People expected it from me and that’s the dynamic I set up. It wasn’t serving me or my message anymore and I felt it. In fact, it was showing I wasn’t practicing what I was preaching. I was comfortable giving. I was comfortable receiving a little from many people, but only comfortable receiving a lot from my parents or my husband. When I got real with myself, I saw these blocks in business and how I had subconscious/unconscious patterns going on. I asked myself were there still self-worth issues going on like the layers of the onion? I kept exploring my thoughts and getting real on my comfort zone. I didn’t want to owe anyone, take advantage of them, or inconvenience them. . .all these projection I put on them. All I was doing was offering products. There was no weird story, unless I made one. I wasn’t selling out. I could make money and help people.
I swear some people are born with that seller gene and they could sell ice to an Eskimo. Took a business class about branding from Kellie Kuecha as I envision myself as a entrepreneur with multiple businesses, books, programs, and the sky’s the limit. I looked at her and the other women, in awe, just soaking up the genius vibes. I realized I was playing small again. Luckily, I know the comparing/competition game doesn’t work for me or I’d have been doomed in that class with those brilliant women, and a few men. As I gained clarity around my business, I realized I also had to let go of the attachment to the outcome, but to stay focused on my intention. All my confusion was many things. I uncovered fears about making mistakes, not being perfect, looking foolish, seeing greedy, and being considered inauthentic. Oh. . .all that almost stings to write as I munch on my organic tortilla chips. I can be real and make money. I can do business and be authentic. I can sell whatever and not alienate myself from people. I’ve heard people lose friends because they’re too pushy with their product. That won’t be me.
Trust is key. Trust that I’ll attract the right customers, clients, readers, followers/supporters, friends, and even mentors or teachers. I trust myself. It’s not selling out ever, unless you are out of integrity with what you’re selling. Okay, putting the chips away now. They’re just crumbs anyway. . .and I’m not settling for crumbs anymore. Neither should you.