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Safe Place with Ruth Graham

The book, Fifty Shades of Gray, and the sequels are best sellers. I will state up front that I haven’t read them. I have read the reviews and watched Ellen DeGeneres’ spoof  on reading it for the audio version.

From what I have read, it is a poorly written book. The subject matter is pornography. Therefore, I need not waste my time.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know why they are bestsellers. People like titillation. It appeals to the baser nature – our sin nature. Why do you think pornography is such a problem?

I feel that these books are a subtle way that Satan is using to hook people on pornography. They are not harmless novels. These kinds of things have the law of diminishing returns. What satisfies you on one day only increases your appetite for something more. Soon you are going deeper until you are trapped. I have seen it happen. Once curiosity moves to attraction it soon moves to desire then on to addiction. The addiction takes over.  You loose control. It isn’t long before your family, reputation, career, money and  soul are in jeopardy. It is a long road back. The images in your head are hard if not impossible to erase. My first husband brought pornography into our marriage saying it would enhance our sex life. That is a lie straight from hell! And I can still bring up those images after nearly 40 years.

I have seen the effects of pornography. It is ugly. I know people whose lives were ruined by it. I knew a man highly respected in his community. A leading pastor and licensed counsellor. He had been abused as a young boy which awakened his sexual feelings. He began to look at pornography. It became an addiction. As an adult he got caught up in voyeurism and looking at younger and younger images. He was caught. Sent to jail. He was charged with child pornography and is now a felon. He lost his family, his pastorate, his counselling practice, his money, his reputation. From time to time he tried to self-correct but was unsuccessful. The addiction was too strong. His life, he had worked so hard to build, was destroyed.

Pornography takes away the ability to bond with a person of the opposite sex. You are so used to relating to a fake, impersonal image on screen or on the page that a real person or image cannot satisfy. You have invested all you are and have into a false world. You have taken from a person without investing in them – we call that “using” someone.

It’s not just men. Women now are becoming involved  in pornography – even addicted. I am not sure why. But to me it seems clear that the person wants intimacy without relationship. We were not created for that. We long for relationships that are satisfying and fulfilling – that is God’s purpose for us. But relationships take work – perhaps pornography looks like a short-cut to intimacy. It isn’t. It is a sewer hole.

God has invited us into relationship with Him and with each other. He made us for real relationship.

Pornography is evil. It may be appealing and seem harmless. I don’t buy the idea that, “I just read the articles.”

I am sure you can tell I have strong feelings about this. My life has been affected by pornography. I get letters almost every week from people whose lives have been damaged by this scourge. And folks in the church, even pastors, are not immune. It can remain hidden and secret for years. But it will come out.

Let me say that there is help. The addiction can be broken. It is very difficult – but with God’s help, it can be done. My friend,Tal Prince, has a powerful ministry to those addcited to porn. He has Tapestry of Hope out of Birmingham, AL. Dr. Mark Laaser and his wife, Deb, have a ministry: Faithful and True out of Minneapolis. I have worked with these people and know them to have integrity and gracious hearts because they have “been there and done that”.

Guard your computer and the Internet. There are programs like Covenant Eyes and Child Safe that you can install. Because the Internet is like an open door to a sewer. We don’t allow open sewers in our communities. The Internet pornographers know how to trick children especially. Parents, pay attention!

I will have more to say on this…stay tuned. I welcome your comments and any suggestions you may have to help someone.

 

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