The Reality TV Guru

Big Brother 13 recap, Sunday August 28, 2011

The "Widow's Club": Rachel and Jordan have lost Brendon and Jeff

We start with a recap of events of the Double Eviction episode last Thursday. The recaps are lengthy this week, giving some insight into what happened last week. The House might be air-conditioned, but it was scorching hot inside there leading up to the evictions. We get clips we didn’t see before of Jeff berating Shelly for her actions which eventually led to his eviction from the house.

Jeff and Shelly went at it in full view and hearing of the rest of the House guests. The arguments continued into the final hour leading to the first eviction vote. Jeff, Shelly and Adam went at it with Jordan present and they were so loud that Rachel and Porsche could hear them from clear on the other side of the House. It went beyond game play and got rather personal. That might be an understatement.

With Kalia winning the HoH and Porsche winning the PoV competitions, it suddenly looked grim for Jeff, who was on the nomination couch with Rachel. Jordan saw what was coming and was already in tears even before the second eviction vote. Jeff tried to scare up some votes, including pulling Shelly aside (rather, practically pushing her into a room) about her vote. With both she and Jeff still angry at each other, Shelly wasn’t going to discuss it with him. The vote went 2-2 and Kalia as HoH sent Jeff packing.

Finally, already 25 minutes into tonight’s airing, we see a replay of Jeff angrily whacking the exit door open and leaving the House. Almost half of the show is gone in replays.

Emerging from the wreckage of last Thursday’s double eviction episode are the six House guests: Rachel, Jordan, Kalia, Porsche, Adam and Shelly. It’s tearfest with Jordan crying about Jeff’s departure, Rachel crying with her, and Shelly crying over the emotional trauma of her battles with Jeff. Jordan, sitting with Rachel and Adam, now regrets giving Shelly the call-from-home prize from an earlier competition, as if that’s supposed to buy 100% loyalty towards helping her and Jeff win the game. Shelly is also crying and Kalia and Jordan join her. Kalia comes up with the most intelligent thing she’s said all season. “You know what, Shelly. This isn’t the real world.”

Shelly walks into the room with Jordan, Rachel and Adam. This turns out to be a huge mistake as it blows up into a major conflagration. Shelly doesn’t have the sense to let things cool off and decides to blow off steam — and at Jordan. Kalia is gaping at what’s going on, like, whut? It’s safe to say that the loose cannon mouth is no longer Rachel, but Shelly.

Now it’s time for the next HoH competition. Kalia begins the competition script, “House guests, anyone feeling a little snake-bit?” (Ugh, the BB scriptwriters are laying it on a little bit thick here, ya think?) The competition involves rolling a ball as far as possible along a snake-shaped platform which can be guided and tilted by the competitor. Below the snake platform is a catch area with grooves to indicate the score of 1-20 depending on how far the ball went. Players are ranked and then do an elimination playoff, something like the PBA tour bowling playoffs.

The first round goes quickly. Jordan does very well and scores 18 out of 20. Porsche gets 11, Rachel scores 13, Shelly drops a 16, Adam gets a paltry 4 (and he practiced at it all week!). Now the players are ranked with Adam going against Porsche in the opening match, with the winners playing Rachel, then Shelly, and then Jordan for the final. Match 1 goes to Porsche vs Adam 14-10. Match 2 goes to Porsche (who takes it all the way) vs Rachel 20-7. Then it’s Porsche vs Shelly and Porsche (who is outstanding at this) lands it in one of the snake eyes while Shelly drops a 13. The final match is Porsche vs Jordan. Wow, Porsche lands it in a snake eye again! Jordan can’t match Porsche’s skill, dropping a 16.

Porsche is the new Head of Household! The Porsche-Kalia-Shelly alliance are cheering the results, while Rachel and Jordan are (in Rachel’s words) “just devastated.” Adam now realizes he’s on the wrong side of the fence and joins up with the newbies, starting by giving Shelly a hug and hanging out with them. Kalia is all smiles at Adam’s change of heart. Meanwhile, the tearfest continues for Rachel as she sits with Jordan. She says, “I miss Brendon so much” and *honk*, there goes another tissue — and Big Brother’s consumable household items budget.

Porsche steps into the Head of Household room and, lo and behold, there’s a Pandora’s Box! Porsche is so excited to see this that she doesn’t hesitate to open envelope #1 of two envelopes. The first half is a $5,000 reward for Porsche. Then she opens envelope #2 and she gets the option of a $10,000 total reward to open Pandora’s Box. She decides to go into the Pandora’s Box room, “all right, I’m going in!”

Inside the Pandora’s Box room, Porsche opens the HoH #1 envelope and it’s “Congratulations, you have just won $10,000… However, you will be splitting it with another House Guest. The identity of that House Guest will become clear in a moment. As you were warned, every temptation comes with a consequence. Please take envelope #2 downstairs now and read it aloud to the other House Guests.” Hmmm… what could this be?

Porsche calls the House Guests together and reads HoH envelope #2 after a moment to read it herself for the first time. She reads about the “duo twist” that results in the House Guests pairing up as teams. Duos will be nominated and possibly saved in PoV as pairs. The paired duo remaining on the block will have to go against one another in order to stay in the House. Everyone picks their partner, which is quickly and obviously decided with Rachel & Jordan, Porsche & Kalia and leftovers Shelly & Adam becoming paired duos.

Porsche realizes that “opening the Pandora’s Box is the worst game move I made so far” and Shelly in diary room agrees with the bad timing of it. Rachel is delighted calling it “the best twist ever!” With Porsche sure to nominate them, if either Rachel or Jordan can win the PoV competition, then it will be Shelly and Adam going to the block as replacements (with Porsche as HoH and Kalia as her partner being immune from nomination).

Well, if this isn’t enough to twist your brain around, what is?

Now, who will win the crucial PoV competition? Stay tuned!

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