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Project Conversion

Oops, I did it again. This is when I wish I had a camera crew or producer following me around because yesterday was a once in a Project Conversion moment and–

OH MY GODDESS I forgot to take pictures!

Take that, silly human.

So far this year I’ve only had a Mentor in my home two times. Yesterday was one of those times. But not only was my Wiccan Mentor here (wassup Melissa!)…her Mentor was here as well! You could cut the awesome with a knife.

After chatting for a while and introductions to my family (my kids were dressing up for a Halloween party and running around the house), Mentor Melissa, her teacher, and I got down to business. Melissa came with two goals (other than chilling with her student): a Tarot card reading, and a guided meditation to meet my Spirit Guide. I have a friend in the United Kingdom who performed a reading a couple of weeks ago using her husband’s custom cards, but Melissa’s reading was my first in-person.

Tarot cards. Design my vary

Tarot cards have a long history and originated as simple playing cards in around 15th century Europe (perhaps an export from Egypt). While divination using Tarot cards developed soon after, wide spread use of the cards for divination did not come until the 18th and 19th centuries. Different readers use various forms and techniques for spreading the cards for a reading, however the principle goal is to assist the seeker in understanding their past, present, and perhaps even gleaning their future. Some readers suggest possible future events, others allow the cards themselves to speak to the seeker.

With my reading, Melissa allowed the cards to speak to me. The cards seemed to describe my current adventure with Project Conversion, especially the spiritual and mental struggles/events. What was interesting is that a few cards (because of their order) pointed quite harshly at an internal struggle I’ve had for a few months now involving the river. Melissa doesn’t know about this issue. In fact, no one knows about this aspect of my journey (not even my wife), and yet once the cards went down, it hit me hard. This wasn’t a suggestion, but a challenge. Will you embrace your destiny, or are you planning on pussy-footing around what I was shown that day those many months ago?

Wow universe, way to take off the gloves.

So that was the reading. I was happy with the results so we moved on to the guided meditation.

This was also my maiden voyage into this sort of meditation because with other meditations this year, there was no outside visualization. Now, I actively looked for my innate energies and the astral spaces which exist between the lines of our physical realm.

Melissa asked me to get comfortable and ground myself (displacing excess energy from my body–much like a lightning rod). I did so and thus the journey to meet my Spirit Guide or Familiar, began. A guided meditation means that she led me into the astral space via her words. I closed my eyes and followed her descriptions of the environment. Soon, I entered a garden. There is the sound of water, the smell of flowers, the warmth of the sun. I feel them all. Then, I follow a stone path leading into the woods.

She doesn’t tell me that the woods are dark, but they become dark as I walk in. The darkness doesn’t bother me, in fact the darker it gets, the closer I feel to the Goddess. By this time, Melissa’s words become the environment itself and the journey feels natural. I meet a shadowy form in the woods. It feels like the Goddess. She doesn’t speak but instead directs me forward.

I reach the end of the path. It leads to an opening into another garden. There are critters everywhere. There is also a lake and an island in the middle with an enormous oak tree. Hey there, God. The garden here is different. Suddenly, like an EMP shock wave, all sound and movement stops. Even the landscape turns grey. Slowly, color bleeds back into the leaves, grass, water, and then I see it. By the Goddess…

It’s my Spirit Guide. I know this immediately as it steps toward me. A Spirit Guide is a being who teaches and guides you through life. It can take any form, however it uniquely fits the individual. Your Spirit Guide knows you. I’ll try to describe this being without it seeming like an acid trip.

It is a bird about my height, maybe a little taller, but unlike any I’ve ever seen. My Spirit Guide has the build of a raptor (bird of prey, like a hawk or eagle), but this is where things get freaky. It’s feathers change form and color constantly, like an octopus, and undulate the entire time. The tail feathers might turn black, like a raven, and as the black band of color flows from tail to head, another set of colors and shapes come behind it. Like a ribbon of fire burning through a dry leaf.

My Spirit Guide is any and all birds, constantly shifting between forms.

I cautiously reach for it’s curved beak and it allows me ever closer. Soon, I’m embracing my Spirit Guide. Here, I know this is mine, because the feathers feel and smell like the feathers of my favorite pet chicken, Blizzard, from my youth. She lived for almost 15 years.

Now, Melissa calls me to walk back…but I can’t. As I’m sitting there in meditation I feel like I’m literally spinning with my eyes closed. I even feel nauseous. My skin feels hot and sweaty. Had I done this alone, I would have panicked, and it would be just like that night in my apartment so many years ago. She directed me to ask the Spirit Guide why I couldn’t move. It told me,

I was waiting for you to ask for help.

Another blow to my ego. The spinning gradually stopped and I gently came out of the journey.

Here's to humility.

The three of us spent the rest of our time talking about the experience and just enjoying our mutual company. We parted with gifts and just as they entered their car, a red-tail hawk flew overhead. I live in the city. Red-tail hawks are never in the city. Ever.

I’ve seen them at the river every time I go and particularly when I visit the Temple. Looks like I’ve made a friend.

My Spirit Guide in the form of a red-tail hawk. Just please don't poop on me, okay?

I want to publicly thank Mentor Melissa and her teacher for visiting me. Making a 2 1/2 trek to the home of someone you’ve never met is a gamble, but the experience and the lessons you two have given me this month are forever grafted to my being. Thank you and blessed be.

Have you met your Spirit Guide? What’s it like?

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