Prayables

Prayables

Prayables Archives

HMO Heaven

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke A doctor, a nurse, and the top executive of an HMO have died and are in line together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter speaks with them and asks them what good they have done in their lives. […]

Seventeen Chapters of Mark

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke A minister told his congregation, “Next week I plan to preach about the Gospel of Mark.  To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read tall of the chapters of scripture beforehand.” The following Sunday, […]

The Lord Will Provide

posted by Prayables

One day in a small town during really stormy weather, the town begins to flood. Everyone rushes to lifeboats and begins to flee. But in a church a priest sits on the alter and does not move. A man runs […]

Valuable Book

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke A collector of rare books ran into an acquaintance who told him he had just thrown away an old Bible that he found in a dusty, old box. He happened to mention that Guten-somebody- or-other had printed it. […]

Soup Pot

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke An Italian, a Frenchman and a Jew arrive in Heaven and each is judged. The angel escorts the Frenchman to his heavenly reward. They enter a beautifully arranged banquet hall with all the foods that a French connoisseur […]

God’s Time And Money

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke A preacher went into his church and he was praying to God. While he was praying, he asked God, “How long is 10 million years to you?” God replied, “1 second.” The next day the preacher asked God, […]

Heaven Bound

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, “How do you expect to get into Heaven?” The boy thought it over and said, “Well, I’ll just run in and out and in and […]

Death on Vacation

posted by Prayables

During their vacation and while they were visiting Jerusalam, George’s mother-in-law died. With death certificates in hand, George went to the American Consulate Office to make arrangements to send the body back to the states for proper burial. The Consul, […]

Bible Salesman

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke A man came into a shop with a ‘Salesman Wanted’ sign in a window. He went up to the owner and said, “I-I-I w-w-waannn-t the j-joooob-b.” “I don’t know if this job would suit you because of your […]

Catholic Dog

posted by Prayables

Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, “Father, me dog is dead. Could ya’ be saying’ a mass for […]

Family Bible

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, looking at the old pages as he turned them. Then something fell out, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an […]

Church Mice

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke Three pastors met and were talking over conditions at their churches. The first pastor said, “You know, since summer started, I’ve been having trouble with mice in my church. I’ve tried everything – noise, cats, spray – nothing […]

Can’t Do That

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke A student was heading home for Christmas. When she got to the airline counter, she presented her ticket to New York. As she gave the agent her luggage, she made the remark, “I’d like you to send my […]

Good Leads

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke Mr. Jones goes to confession and says to his priest, “Bless me father, for I have sinned. It’s been four weeks since my last confession, and I have committed the sin of adultery.” The priest says, “Was it […]

Aching Side

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially interested when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs. Later in the week his mother […]

Why God Never Received Tenure

posted by Prayables

1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was in Hebrew. 3. It had no references. 4. It wasn’t published in a referred journal. 5. Some doubt He wrote it by Himself. 6. He may have created the world, […]

Up for Grabs

posted by Prayables

Three ministers are talking over lunch and before long find themselves discussing how much of the weekly offering is appropriate to keep and how much to give to the Lord. The first minister says, “I just draw a line on […]

Perfection

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke The preacher said, “There’s no such thing as a perfect woman. Anybody present who has ever known a perfect woman, stand up.” Nobody stood up. “Those who have ever known a perfect man, stand up.” One elderly gentleman […]

New Pet

posted by Prayables

A single guy decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a […]

New Car

posted by Prayables

A cathedral was located opposite a synagogue in a well-to-do neighborhood. Both the Jewish and the Catholic congregations were driving nice cars and living well. Only the clergy was in poor condition. In fact, the priest was driving a car […]

Frank

posted by Prayables

Father McCauley walks out to the street and catches a taxi just passing by. He gets into the taxi and the driver says, “Perfect timing. You’re just like Frank.” Father McCauley: “Who?” Cabbie: “Frank. Frank Feldman. He’s a guy who […]

Roof Leak

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke Pastor Dan had a leak in the roof over his dining room, so he called a repairman to take a look at it. “When did you first notice the leak?” the repairman inquired. Pastor Dan scowled. “Last night, […]

Age is a Funny Thing

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, “Surely I can’t look that old?” Well . . …. You’ll love this one! I was at a meet and greet for new church […]

Filling in for Saint Peter

posted by Prayables

A famous professor of surgery died and went to heaven. At the pearly gate he was asked by the gatekeeper: ‘Have you ever committed a sin you truly regret?’ ‘Yes,’ the professor answered. ‘When I was a young candidate at […]

Reverend Jones Plays Poker

posted by Prayables

The Reverend Jones and his buddies were having a friendly game of poker that got out of hand. Stakes were mounting up quite high. One player loses $500, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. The card players […]

Repetition, Repetition

posted by Prayables

The pastor gave a sermon where he talked about affirmations and getting what you want from the Lord and those around you. He said, “The main thing is repetition and I mean repetition. You must keep on saying the same […]

St. Pat’s Teens

posted by Prayables

A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near St. Pat’s the parish high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment. Then a new school year began. The very next afternoon […]

Hotel Clerk

posted by Prayables

Mrs. Goldstein comes to a hotel in a “high class” resort and asks for a room. “We’re all filled up,” says the clerk. “There’s someone leaving now,” says Mrs. G., “so now you have a room.” “I am sorry,” says […]

Giving Out Years

posted by Prayables

On the first day, God created the dog and said: “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty […]

Previous Posts

Spiritually Healthy
Spiritually Health Get rid of what enslaves you. Find spiritual health and well-being by discovering personal freedom. Don't be defeated by your life circumstances. Here's how to change your life for good. Inspired by Rabbi Karyn Kedar's new book, "Omer: A Counting" Written by Susan Diamond,

posted 6:24:14pm Mar. 27, 2014 | read full post »

You Can Have A Better Marriage
You Can Have a Better Marriage By Susan Diamond, Prayables Some people have a stupendous, fireworks on the Fourth of July marriage. Others have a miserable, cry me a river marriage that really stinks. The rest, fit not-so-neatly in-between. How to have a better marriage? It's not as hard as you'

posted 2:08:09pm Mar. 19, 2014 | read full post »

Living Life Outside the Box
Contributed by Susan Good, Visit Gramma Good at www.grammagood.com I believe in living my life outside the box. I know many women of all ages don’t feel as I do and live inside the box their entire lives. Life inside the box means you’re content to live a routine life. You do not have the d

posted 5:03:30pm Mar. 07, 2014 | read full post »

Is There a Future for Religion?
Written By Susan Diamond, Publisher of Prayables, an online spiritual community for people of all faiths. Is There a Future for Religion? If I hear one more self-righteous matron bitch and moan about the religious morals of young people today, I'm going to smash someone's head. That's not very C

posted 10:27:07pm Feb. 19, 2014 | read full post »

Happy Life: 10 Tips & Observations from Gramma Good’s Mother
Contributed by Susan Good Visit Gramma Good at www.grammagood.com I call my mom at least once a day. Today we talked about buying a scrabble app for her computer. Ninety- two years old and my mother is going to play scrabble on her Mac! How fabulous is this mother of mine! I would normall

posted 11:28:18am Feb. 11, 2014 | read full post »


Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.