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Humor Archives

Church Comedy – Tim Hawkins

posted by Prayables

Featured Video Tim Hawkins is hilarious! The stand-up comedian does church humor and he does it well. Sleeping in church, hand-sanitizers and chomping on a communion wafer are just a few of the bits that will bring out your chuckles. […]

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Boob Cancer (A Ditty) – Michelle Ward

posted by Prayables

She’s got boob cancer.  Her words not mine. Michelle Ward has a sense of humor when it comes to her recent diagnosis of breast cancer. Heck, she’s a funny straight shooter when it comes to life in general; she’s not […]

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Boob Cancer

posted by Prayables

She’s got boob cancer.  Her words not mine. Michelle has a sense of humor when it comes to her recent diagnosis. Heck, she’s a funny straight shooter when it comes to life in general; she’s not going to let breast […]

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New Decade

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke You know you’re living in a new decade when… 1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave. 2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years. 3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to […]

Home Economics For Men

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke 1. Introduction to Common Household Objects I: The Mop. 2. Introduction to Common Household Objects II: The Sponge 3. Dressing Up: Beyond the Wedding and the Funeral. 4. Refrigerator Forensics: Identifying and Removing the Dead. 5. Design Pattern […]

Stay in School

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke A Jewish kid is sent to a Jewish school by his parents. After two weeks he is kicked out for fighting and laziness. So his parents raise the money and send him to a private school. However, after […]

New Teeth

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke Our local minister had all of his remaining teeth pulled and new dentures made a few weeks ago. The first Sunday, his sermon lasted 10 minutes. The second Sunday, he preached only 20 minutes. But, on the third […]

Come Home

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke A foreign-born Jewish woman tells a travel agent that she wants to go to India. “I vant to go to India.” “But Mrs. Cohen,” says the travel agent, “India is so hot, the food is so different, things […]

Things I’d Like to Hear, Just Once

posted by Prayables

From my auto mechanic: “That part is much less expensive than I thought.” “I’ve never seen anyone maintain his car as well as you do.” “You could get that done more cheaply at the garage down the street.” “It was […]

What “Really” Means

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke “I can’t find it,” REALLY MEANS, “It didn’t fall into my outstretched hands, so I’m completely clueless.” “That’s women’s work,” REALLY MEANS, “It’s dirty, difficult and thankless.” “Will you marry me?” REALLY MEANS, “Both my roommates have moved […]

Rules Kids Won’t Learn in School

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke Rules Kids Won’t Learn in School Rule #1. Life is not fair. Get used to it. The average teenager uses the phrase “it’s not fair” 8.6 times a day. You got it from your parents, who said it […]

Choir Positions Open

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke Found in an actual church bulletin: Positions open in soprano, alto, tenor and bass. No others need apply. PHYSICAL QUALIFICATIONS: Must be able to carry light musical notes part way across the sanctuary. Must have sufficient vision to […]

Sex on Sabbath

posted by Prayables

A man asked a priest whether sex was work or pleasure and whether it was allowed on the Sabbath day. The priest said it is work and cannot be done on Sunday. The man thought it over and decided that […]

Understanding a Woman’s Language

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke Sometimes our body language will help us keep the sacred vow of using respectful language. Here’s how we do it: “Fine” – This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we […]

New Car

posted by Prayables

A cathedral was located opposite a synagogue in a well-to-do neighborhood. Both the Jewish and the Catholic congregations were driving nice cars and living well. Only the clergy was in poor condition. In fact, the priest was driving a car […]

Frank

posted by Prayables

Father McCauley walks out to the street and catches a taxi just passing by. He gets into the taxi and the driver says, “Perfect timing. You’re just like Frank.” Father McCauley: “Who?” Cabbie: “Frank. Frank Feldman. He’s a guy who […]

Van Gogh’s Relatives

posted by Prayables

The family history of the famous artist Vincent Van Gogh has been recently discovered in a European monastery. There is now a record of his many relatives. Among them were: His dizzy aunt . . . . Verti Gogh The […]

Roof Leak

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke Pastor Dan had a leak in the roof over his dining room, so he called a repairman to take a look at it. “When did you first notice the leak?” the repairman inquired. Pastor Dan scowled. “Last night, […]

Walking on Water

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke All of his life Roger from Cape Breton had heard stories of an amazing family tradition. It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 21st birthday. On that […]

Age is a Funny Thing

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, “Surely I can’t look that old?” Well . . …. You’ll love this one! I was at a meet and greet for new church […]

Inspiring Music

posted by Prayables

Daily Joke A minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was annoyed to find that […]

Comedian Brad Stine – Christians Don’t Have Curse Words

posted by Prayables

Daily Video Christian comedian Brad Stine is a riot in this bit about Christian cursing. You’ll laugh out loud at his witty observational humpor that strikes just the right chord. Enjoy the Prayables video pick of the day! all curse […]

Understanding Flies

posted by Prayables

Daily Religious Joke The Reverend’s wife walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. “What are you doing?” She asked. “Hunting flies” He responded. “Oh. Killing any?” She asked. “Yep, 3 males, 2 females,” […]

Animal Sounds

posted by Prayables

A group of young children were sitting in a circle with their Sunday school teacher. She was going around in turn asking them all questions. “Davey, what sound does a cow make?” Davey replied, “It goes ‘moo’.” “Alice, what sound […]

Where’s Barney?

posted by Prayables

A four year old was at the pediatrician for a check up. As the doctor looked down her ears with an otoscope, he asked, “Do you think I’ll find Big Bird in here?” The little girl stayed silent. Next, the […]

How To Know You’re Ready For Parenthood

posted by Prayables

Children are God’s gift to the world. Here’s a test to see if you’re ready for parenthood. MESS TEST: Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the wet flower bed and rub on the […]

Filling in for Saint Peter

posted by Prayables

A famous professor of surgery died and went to heaven. At the pearly gate he was asked by the gatekeeper: ‘Have you ever committed a sin you truly regret?’ ‘Yes,’ the professor answered. ‘When I was a young candidate at […]

Deep Thoughts

posted by Prayables

- I planted some birdseed. A bird came up. Now I don’t know what to feed it. – I had amnesia once — or twice. – I went to San Francisco. I found someone’s heart. Now what? – Protons have […]

The Good Word

posted by Prayables

A man walked into a restaurant in a strange town. The waiter came and asked him for his order. Feeling lonely, he replied, “Meat loaf and a kind word.” When the waiter returned with the meat loaf, the man said, […]

Reverend Jones Plays Poker

posted by Prayables

The Reverend Jones and his buddies were having a friendly game of poker that got out of hand. Stakes were mounting up quite high. One player loses $500, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. The card players […]

Repetition, Repetition

posted by Prayables

The pastor gave a sermon where he talked about affirmations and getting what you want from the Lord and those around you. He said, “The main thing is repetition and I mean repetition. You must keep on saying the same […]

St. Pat’s Teens

posted by Prayables

A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near St. Pat’s the parish high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment. Then a new school year began. The very next afternoon […]

Bad Relationships

posted by Prayables

Two church ladies were packing lunches for the homeless. When they started to discuss their own home lives, one said, “Seems like all Alfred and I do anymore is fight. I’ve been so upset I’ve lost 20 pounds.” “Why don’t […]

Hotel Clerk

posted by Prayables

Mrs. Goldstein comes to a hotel in a “high class” resort and asks for a room. “We’re all filled up,” says the clerk. “There’s someone leaving now,” says Mrs. G., “so now you have a room.” “I am sorry,” says […]

Chrislam, Conservadox and Other Oxymorons

posted by Prayables

Look at it this way: there’s a great big hodge-podge of religious beliefs, bumping up against one another, each catching the religious residue of its neighbor. Chrislam, Conservadox, and Cashews are just some of the oxymorons that make up this […]

Slow, Really Slow

posted by Prayables

A young man was a slow worker and found it difficult to hold down a job. After a visit to the employment office, he was offered work at the local zoo. When he arrived for his first day, the keeper, […]

Definitions for Parents

posted by Prayables

FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when a baby doesn’t appreciate the mashed carrots. HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word. PRENATAL: When your life was still somewhat your own. PUDDLE: A small body of water that draws other […]

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posted 10:27:07pm Feb. 19, 2014 | read full post »

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