Pontifications

Pontifications


Jump into the 2009 “Catholic Pool”!

posted by David Gibson

Inspired by William Safire’s annual Office Pool of predictions for the coming year, I am herewith inaugurating a “Catholic Pool” for 2009. Safire’s 2009 NYT pool column ran last Sunday, and you have to hand it to him for keeping it going even though he has an almost unbroken record of guessing wrong. Perhaps it is wishful thinking on his part; perhaps it is the peril of being a conservative in a bad decade (or generation) for Republicans.
In any case, I shall not be critical, as I am jumping into the deep end myself. And I’ll even go all the way and post my answers in the “extended” reading tab at the end. Feel free to post comments and suggestions, but above all, record your own answers. We’ll check back in a year…

2009 CATHOLIC “OFFICE” POOL

ONE: Pope Benedict XVI’s anticipated visit in May to the Holy Land will be:

a) Derailed over ongoing violence between Israel and the Palestinians;
b) Hailed as a breakthrough as the pope’s visit leads to an unexpected truce;
c) A source of renewed Jewish-Catholic tension over the upcoming beatification of Pope Pius XII and Benedict’s remarks on the Holocaust;
d) A breakthrough in Jewish-Catholic relations as Benedict makes a public examination of conscience over the role of the German church in World War II.
e) Longer than expected, after the Pope unexpectedly “converts” to Judaism and takes the name B’nedict.

TWO: Pope Benedict’s first visit to the African continent in March–to Cameroon and Angola–will be:

a) The spark that helps bring down the Mugabe regime in nearby Zimbabwe;
b) Overwhelmed by coverage of an American-led force sent in to remove Robert Mugabe;
c) Dominated by criticisms of evangelical and Pentecostal “sects” by Benedict that elicit comparisons to his Regensberg speech on Islam;
d) Dominated by headlines about the papal in-flight showing of Cardinal Arinze’s favorite movie, “The African Queen” in which the scenes depicting the Germans are deleted.

THREE: Pope Benedict XVI will create a new flock of cardinals, with the “Jesuit hat” recently vacated by the departed Avery Dulles, SJ, going to:

a) Fr. Thomas Reese;
b) Fr. Joseph Fessio;
c) Fr. James Martin;
d) Fr. Edward T. Oakes;
e) Diogenes

FOUR: The next Archbishop of New York will be:

a) Atlanta Archbishop Wilton Gregory;
b) Military Vicar Archbishop Timothy Broglio
c) Bridgeport Bishop William Lori;
d) Archbishop Timothy Dolan of Milwaukee;
e) Cardinal Edward Egan, who will repeat as archbishop;
f) Blogger Rocco Palmo, who will announce his own appointment three weeks before the Vatican does.

FIVE: Relations between the U.S. hierarchy and the Obama Administration will be characterized by:

a) A battle over Obama’s first nomination to the Supreme Court;
b) Cooperation rather than confrontation on abortion-related issues;
c) Clashes over Obama’s support for civil unions for homosexuals and a modification of the “Don’t ask, Don’t tell” policy on gays in the military that the bishops argue infringes on their trademarked seminary practice;
d) Episcopal infighting over whether to invite the Obamas to join a Catholic parish in Washington so they can be denied Communion.

SIX: The next great battle in the “Liturgy Wars” will be over:

a) Kneeling to receive communion on the tongue;
b) Moving the “sign of peace” forward to near the start of the Mass;
c) The pope’s decision to allow or bar women as fully-recognized lectors;
d) Banning any song with the words “gather” or “people” in them more than once;
e) “Re-introducing” Aramaic into the Mass;
f) New regulations on how many inches of lace must be worn on an alb.

SEVEN: The next great theological debate will be over:

a) The Virgin Mary as Co-Redemptrix;
b) Donatism: Was It Really So Bad?;
c) Remote material cooperation;
d) Material remote cooperation;
e) John Henry Newman: Gay or Just Good Friends with that Fellow?

EIGHT: Following on the embrace of Galileo, the Vatican will surprise the world by rehabilitating:

a) Gustavo Gutierrez, a Dominican priest and a founder of Liberation Theology;
b) Girolamo Savonarola, a Dominican priest who was burned at the stake after leading a crusade against “immoral” Renaissance art;
c) Giordano Bruno, a Dominican priest who was burned at the stake for advocating free-thinking ideas and heresy;
d) Thomas Doyle, a Dominican priest and canon lawyer who is a leading critic of the hierarchy’s failings on sexual abuse;
e) Non-Dominican Charles Darwin, who 150 years ago published scientific claims that almost mirrored that which the Church has always taught…

NINE: The biggest name to become Roman Catholic in 2009 will be:

a) George W. Bush;
b) Philip Seymour Hoffman;
c) Mahmoud Ahmadinejad;
d) Mel Gibson;
e) David Gibson.

TEN: The biggest name to be canonized in 2009 will be:

a) Pope John Paul II;
b) Pope Pius XII;
c) Pope John XXIII;
d) Pope Pius IX;
e) NCR’s John Allen, after he is credited with a miracle of bilocation.

ELEVEN: In his long-awaited encyclical on social justice, Pope Benedict XVI will:

a) Continue the theme of his previous encyclicals and highlight charity, or love, as the sine qua non of social justice;
b) Declare that charitable actions that are not motivated by or in comformity with divine Truth as incompatible with Catholic faith;
c) Forget to mention social justice;
d) Begin with the words, “Can’t we just be friends?” leading to the unusual official title, “Possumusne esse amici”.

TWELVE: In a surprise move, the College of Cardinals will:

a) Expand their numbers by including the first non-ordained member since the nineteenth century;
b) Meet to discuss contingency plans for a papal retirement;
c) Lengthen the cappa magna to a minimum of fifteen feet;
d) Offer courses for credit;
e) Change the official color of their robes from “red” to “bright red.”

My answers…


1) B and C
2) A
3) None of the above: A nice gesture would be scripture scholar and longtime theologian at the Gregorian, Gerald O’Collins, SJ.
4) A
5) A and B
6) A, B and C
7) C
8) All of the above, except D
9) Not touching that one.
10) C
11) A and B
12) B (with a move to continue debating C)



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Comments read comments(7)
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Meredith Gould

posted December 30, 2008 at 10:17 pm


Too too wonderfully funny except the stuff that’s probably true, like #6 A,B,C. As my mother says,”Oy vey, Maria.”



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Michael Bindner

posted December 31, 2008 at 8:42 am


ONE: Pope Benedict XVI’s anticipated visit in May to the Holy Land will be: a) Derailed over ongoing violence between Israel and the Palestinians; (most likely)
TWO: Pope Benedict’s first visit to the African continent in March–to Cameroon and Angola–will be: c) Dominated by criticisms of evangelical and Pentecostal “sects” by Benedict that elicit comparisons to his Regensberg speech on Islam; (return papal slipper to mouth)
THREE: Pope Benedict XVI will create a new flock of cardinals, with the “Jesuit hat” recently vacated by the departed Avery Dulles, SJ, going to: Fr. Michael Kavanaugh of St. Louis U. at behest of Burke.
FOUR: The next Archbishop of New York will be: c) Bridgeport Bishop William Lori; (payback)
FIVE: Relations between the U.S. hierarchy and the Obama Administration will be characterized by: a) A battle over Obama’s first nomination to the Supreme Court; c) Clashes over Obama’s support for civil unions for homosexuals and a modification of the “Don’t ask, Don’t tell” policy on gays in the military that the bishops argue infringes on their trademarked seminary practice; (can’t be just one thing)
SIX: The next great battle in the “Liturgy Wars” will be over: a) Kneeling to receive communion on the tongue; (counter-revolutionary)
c) The pope’s decision to allow or bar women as fully-recognized lectors; (ditto)
SEVEN: The next great theological debate will be over: e) John Henry Newman: Gay or Just Good Friends with that Fellow? (tsk, tstk, not nice to out people on the internet)
EIGHT: Following on the embrace of Galileo, the Vatican will surprise the world by rehabilitating: d) Thomas Doyle, a Dominican priest and canon lawyer who is a leading critic of the hierarchy’s failings on sexual abuse; (lets hope)
NINE: The biggest name to become Roman Catholic in 2009 will be: a) George W. Bush; (ultimate pander)
TEN: The biggest name to be canonized in 2009 will be: c) Pope John XXIII; (our keyboards to God’s CRT)
ELEVEN: In his long-awaited encyclical on social justice, Pope Benedict XVI will: c) Forget to mention social justice;
TWELVE: In a surprise move, the College of Cardinals will: a) Expand their numbers by including the first non-ordained member since the nineteenth century; (most likely of the silly options)



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Katie Angel

posted January 2, 2009 at 1:48 pm


ONE: Pope Benedict XVI’s anticipated visit in May to the Holy Land will be:
c) A source of renewed Jewish-Catholic tension over the upcoming beatification of Pope Pius XII and Benedict’s remarks on the Holocaust;
d) A breakthrough in Jewish-Catholic relations as Benedict makes a public examination of conscience over the role of the German church in World War II.
TWO: Pope Benedict’s first visit to the African continent in March–to Cameroon and Angola–will be:
c) Dominated by criticisms of evangelical and Pentecostal “sects” by Benedict that elicit comparisons to his Regensberg speech on Islam;
THREE: Pope Benedict XVI will create a new flock of cardinals, with the “Jesuit hat” recently vacated by the departed Avery Dulles, SJ, going to:
a) Fr. Thomas Reese;
FOUR: The next Archbishop of New York will be:
c) Bridgeport Bishop William Lori;
FIVE: Relations between the U.S. hierarchy and the Obama Administration will be characterized by:
a) A battle over Obama’s first nomination to the Supreme Court;
c) Clashes over Obama’s support for civil unions for homosexuals and a modification of the “Don’t ask, Don’t tell” policy on gays in the military that the bishops argue infringes on their trademarked seminary practice;
SIX: The next great battle in the “Liturgy Wars” will be over:
a) Kneeling to receive communion on the tongue;
SEVEN: The next great theological debate will be over:
a) The Virgin Mary as Co-Redemptrix;
EIGHT: Following on the embrace of Galileo, the Vatican will surprise the world by rehabilitating:
a) Gustavo Gutierrez, a Dominican priest and a founder of Liberation Theology;
NINE: The biggest name to become Roman Catholic in 2009 will be:
d) Mel Gibson;
TEN: The biggest name to be canonized in 2009 will be:
c) Pope John XXIII;
ELEVEN: In his long-awaited encyclical on social justice, Pope Benedict XVI will:
c) Forget to mention social justice;
d) Begin with the words, “Can’t we just be friends?” leading to the unusual official title, “Possumusne esse amici”.
TWELVE: In a surprise move, the College of Cardinals will:
a) Expand their numbers by including the first non-ordained member since the nineteenth century;
b) Meet to discuss contingency plans for a papal retirement;



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MTaylor

posted January 2, 2009 at 3:34 pm


1. B & C – surely there will be a renewed conflict over the role of Pope Pius XII’s role in ignoring the Holocaust in WWII, but there may also be some reconciliation of two ancient religions.
2. C. Benedict is not likely to play down his views of other faiths and may well stir Protestant missionaries to protest.
3. C. Jesuit Fr. James Martin, who has done a great deal to spread the faith to Catholics.
4. A, B, C or D – not sure
5. B, C. It is time that the Church realizes that birth control will stop abortions, and there should be some clear thinking and discussion of this when they meet. Also, Obama’s straight talk about gays will be divisive, but we must face the fact that the homosexual trait is from birth, not inclination.
6. C. I think the Pope will be skeptical about women proclaiming the word of God, though more than half of Catholics are women, and there will be a great outcry if some of the best lectors are banned.
7. Wait and see.
8. B, A & C – These good men were clear thinking and right. They should be given their due.
9. Huh? None of these – Gibson is already a Catholic of some color, his own. Perhaps he will come back to reason.
10. C. John the XXIII, saint if there ever was one, who opened the Church to a great airing.
11. A. Benedict will highlight the theme of “love” of mankind and God in performing acts of social justice.
12. B. Discuss Papal Retirement, the only sensible option of the four.



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Moonshadow

posted January 4, 2009 at 11:34 am


A nice gesture would be scripture scholar and longtime theologian at the Gregorian, Gerald O’Collins, SJ.
Yes, that would be very nice indeed. I’ve actually given chapters of this readable, enjoyable book to friends: http://www.amazon.com/Catholicism-Catholic-Christianity-Gerald-OCollins/dp/019925995X
Something to pray for, I guess.



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Your Name

posted January 20, 2009 at 7:04 pm


read this recording your choices
These are mine:
1:A
2:none of the above
3: I agree — None of the above: A nice gesture would be scripture scholar and longtime theologian at the Gregorian, Gerald O’Collins SJ
4:not A — I think he will get Chicago, whenever. C & D are possibilities. [For complete disclosure, I live in the ATL area.]
5:A and maybe B
6:none of the above — the bowing at communion is somewhat to mostly ignored even by EM’s — nobody cares about when the sign of piece occurs. SOme parishes do it in the specified place but also have a rite of greeting (before or after the priest precesses in) in which hands are shaken and sometimes names shared — if women were barred as lectors, I predict war will break out. I would be pround to be an officer in support of women lectors. If only we could get lectors who can proclaim and understand that is what they are to do.
7:an “inside the city limits of Vatican City” issue
8:don’t know enough to say but I would also doubt C — see Commonweal
9:droll, very droll
10: I agree — C
11: I agree out of ignorance — A and B — but I love D.
12:A is a good idea but not yet likely — B is reasonable but who knows if Benedict can convince the group reason whould prevail — what is a cappa magna, a large coffee? — D droll — E very droll



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Glorybe1929

posted August 25, 2009 at 8:44 pm


All this time consuming writing is childish. When innocents have been “spiritually murdered”, you take such a lack a daisical attitude. Ashamed , outraged etc is what you are not. Get a life.



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