Every parent wants the best for their child. You want them to be safe, happy, succeed in their endeavors, do well in school and be able to create the life they want. Many parents however, have a preconceived idea of how their child should achieve their happy idyllic life or even how to clean their room. Your child has different ideas and you eventually hit the parental brick wall. The tall impenetrable wall where communication ceases, and no one is having any fun.
This wall is created over time when you try to control how your kids behave, what they do and the outcomes to their actions. Any good intentions you have, however, are negated when your child disagrees and resists. The desire to control stacks each brick into place and the result will never be as you envision. It’s not a place that feels good or supports your desire to have a happy, fun relationship with your children.
If you hit the brick wall and the relationship between you and your child feels in jeopardy, there is always a solution and various ways to ease the situation. Here are a few tips.
• Make a new choice. Choose to stop pushing against the situation. You already know what doesn’t work so try a new approach. This may simply involve stopping the current argument.
• Choose Trust and Faith. So much of our lives involve trusting outcomes, people and situations we have no control over. Try trusting your kids with their own choices and have faith in the outcome.
• Love over Fear. Fear is always debilitating and never a place to make choices from. Focus on the love you have for your child and choose to put your fears aside.
• Empower your children. Their power lies in their ability to choose for themselves. Teach them about their Internal Guidance System and how to follow what feels good and right for them. Only they know their highest path.
• Remember your Internal Guidance System. Look within yourself and follow what feels good and right for you. This will help you allow your child to be more autonomous.
• Change your focus. What is focused on is where you remain stuck. Deliberately see your child as you wish them to be, in their best place. As you hold this focus, no matter what the current situation is, you allow the energy to flow in this way.
• The Art of Allowing. Sometimes, the situation at hand won’t match the vision you have for your child. The art of allowing is when you let go and allow your child to simply find their way. You’re still there, but they are in control.
• Take a deep breath. You may want to do this often as it helps to re-center and relax you. Know that all is well and things ultimately work out just fine with your children. Allow this to be so.
The walls we create in our lives needn’t be permanent. Our children want to be close with us as much as we want closeness with them. As we show them that their freedom is important to us and we support this freedom, we have a wonderful opportunity to be a part of our children’s growth and joy.
Your comments are welcome.
© 2014. Sharon Ballantine. All Rights Reserved.