Parenting on Purpose

Parenting on Purpose

Why Won’t Our Kids Listen?

posted by srballantine

 

Trouble Communicating with our Child Each of wants to feel heard, but how often are we actually? As a parent, we may feel like the conversations we have with our kids centers on what it is they must accomplish and in what time frame. Sound familiar? In our haste we don’t take the time to have easeful conversations.

We want our children to succeed and we take this to mean they have to keep up with their responsibilities and be timely about it. We can sound like a broken record. Over time, our kids start to selectively tune in or out of what it is we’re saying whichresults in a breakdown in communication that doesn’t serve the relationship.

In an effort to get our kids to listen more, we can stay conscious of talking to them on varied subjects, not just their “to do” list. Taking the time to ask about their interests goes such a long way with kids. Sometimes it means not saying a single word and just being present with them.
Our kids learn to listen, by how they are listened to. If we don’t stop what we’re doing, and focus on what they’re saying, the message we give them can appear to say, ”I’m not listening.” They don’t feel heard. One of the greatest gifts we can give our child is looking them in the eye when they are speaking to us, or when we’re speaking to them.

Listening is an art and to be really good at it you must practice stillness of mind, eye contact and an ease of focus toward who ever you are conversing with. We can teach our children to listen by listening to them. They’ll be more likely to become great listeners in the future and have better success in this area of their relationships.

There is also a certain level of illusion to whether our kids are actually listening to us. It’s best not to be fooled by appearances, as they often are listening but make sure it appears like they’re not. Haven’t we had the experience where we feel tuned out but at a later date our child shows us by what they’re saying that they were indeed hearing us?

As our children get older and become teens, they move toward being more independent, and this may show up as a “listening” wall that can’t be penetrated. If we can practice not being attached to a certain result and stay true to the art of listening we increase our chances of them hearing us. This is indeed a practice. In other words, when we’re talking to them and they won’t acknowledge us we can choose to be reactive or we can choose to say what we have to say with ease. There are few things that stop someone from listening to us faster than when we go into reactive mode.
Our beliefs and expectations shape all of our experiences, and being listened to is no exception. Expect that you are being heard and chances are you will be. By allowing situations to unfold without being attached to certain results you create openness and increase the probability that your child is indeed listening.

Please feel free to comment.

© 2014.  Sharon Ballantine.  All Rights Reserved.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Creating Meaningful Exchanges With Your Kids

posted by srballantine

 

Parent and child loveWhen practiced deliberately, meaningful exchanges can be a part of our everyday lives. As we rush through the grocery store, dry cleaners, department stores and even our work place hardly making eye contact with those we interact with, meaningful exchanges can get lost in the shuffle. A meaningful exchange is an experience that doesn’t require extra time, only your presence of mind. It is an ideal, which can be a part of your family life.

A family’s life is generally a busy life. You may have a home where one or both parents work, and your kids have their activities, friends and personal interests.  Not to mention all the tasks required in running a balanced household. And being in the same house as your kids doesn’t necessarily mean you interact with them in a meaningful way. Having quality moments with your kids in this day and age can mean being a creative genius.

Creating meaningful exchanges with your kids doesn’t mean you need to wait to take a vacation, go on an outing, or even leave the house. They can be created at home. However, they can only be experienced when you deliberately set aside “work mode” and intend to create them. They are magic in their simplicity.

 For example:

~ Resisting the temptation to give instruction and just observe. Allowing your child to do a task their way and complementing them on it.

~ Sharing a smile and eye contact with your child when they walk into a room.

~ Agreeing with your child on a subject that has meaning for them.

~ Giving your child the opportunity to voice their opinion and create a conversation.

~Asking permission to be with them in their “space” (bedroom) and giving them your full attention.

~Inquiring about their friends and showing genuine interest.

~ Silently being in the same room as your child having the intent to feel a togetherness.

~ Fostering an environment where your child feels comfortable asking questions of you because you ask questions of them.

~ Taking a deep breath instead of being reactive to your child. Allowing moments of stress to pass right through you, and continuing the exchange with them.

~Be present and consciously appreciate the simple moments such as walking into the kitchen and seeing your child sitting there, or walking into the family room as they are watching TV.

The time you have with your children still living at home is fleeting and moves very quickly. The weeks suddenly have turned into years. This is the training time for your relationship. Each meaningful exchange you share with your child becomes a part of your future together, a baseline for future interactions.

Whether you begin these meaningful exchanges when they are 4 or 14, it is never too late or early to create or deepen the relationship with your children. It all starts with intent for what kind of relationship you want to have with them and the ease in which you allow situations to flow.

Please feel free to comment.

© 2014.  Sharon Ballantine.  All Rights Reserved.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Parenting Tips: Caring For Your Body Is Key To Alignment

posted by srballantine

skating_kids

When parents teach their children how to apply the Law of Attraction in their lives, there can often be a focus on the mind and emotions with little regard to taking care of the body. While the LOA reacts to emotions and the vibration that people emit, it is also important to take care of your body in order to create the life that you truly want.

This doesn’t mean that you have to be perfectly healthy, right this minute, in order to use the Law of Attraction and manifest your desires. Everyone has challenges from time to time, including chronic illness or debilitating diseases. Many people successfully apply the Law of Attraction specifically to improve their physical health.

You are a complete system. What happens in your body affects your thinking and emotions and vise versa.

Not sure you believe this statement? Imagine how your body reacts when you stub a toe or smash your thumb with a hammer. It doesn’t feel good, does it?

Have you ever experienced dehydration? Even mild dehydration affects your ability to think and focus, as well as making it harder for your muscles to function as well as they would otherwise.

Similarly, when you eat a lot of unhealthy food or wait too long to eat, your blood sugar levels dramatically shift. This can result in huge emotional swings.

When your thoughts and emotions are clouded by injury, poor food choices, dehydration, or lack of sleep, you are out of vibrational alignment, which means not connected to your wellbeing. This makes it harder for you to tap into your Internal Guidance System and receive clarity. Being out of alignment will actually bring you more opportunities to be out of alignment because the Law of Attraction is reacting to the energy you are emitting.

In order to attract what you want into your life, you want to keep your vibration levels as high as you can. You also want to keep your mental and physical channels of flow open. You can do this by learning to quiet your mind, keep your thoughts focused in a positive way and also by keeping yourself properly fueled and hydrated.

This is not to say that you should force-march your kids into physical fitness. Nor should you take away all treats, even if you know they’re not healthy. While everyone requires basic nutrients to grow and have energy, and we all require physical activity to have optimum health, not everyone will flourish with the same regime.

Of course, you can teach your children about nutrition and how important exercise is to the mind and body. You must also teach your kids to pay attention to their own bodies to see how they react to different foods and activity.

If your son recognizes for himself that he is fuzzy-headed after having too many sodas, he will be more apt to control his soft drink habit than if you restrict it for him. When your daughter notes that she feels more energetic when she exercises regularly, she will tend to be more active. Children tend to gravitate towards activities that feel good to them in the first place.

Tapping into your Internal Guidance System is not just about your emotions. It is about how your entire system feels. When your physical, mental, and emotional systems are working well, then you are stacking the deck in your favor. You are setting the stage to be able to operate at your highest vibrational level and achieve your goals more easily. Being aware of how foods and emotions affect our children’s wellbeing will help them learn how to effectively tap into their Internal Guidance System.

Please feel free to comment.

© 2014.  Sharon Ballantine.  All Rights Reserved.

 

 

Teaching Our Children Gratitude

posted by srballantine

 

Sweet little girl and the red tulipsEach of us has the opportunity to be grateful for much in our lives and being grateful is always a choice and an attitude. We live in varying conditions and lifestyles, but the quality of life we have access to is abundant. And feeling abundant is the key to creating more of it. Perhaps we have an abundance of friends and the social life we want. Maybe we are abundant in health, live in a house we love or have a job that inspires us. Having a certain amount of money or material things can also help us feel abundant.

By practicing being grateful for what we have in our lives, we foster and create feelings of abundance. When we teach our children how to practice gratitude, it serves their growth and how they experience life. Gratitude is a valuable tool, as being grateful creates more things to be grateful for and it can greatly enhance a general sense of wellbeing.

Maybe you don’t feel particularly abundant in a specific area of your life, say financially. If we know there is only a certain amount of money in our bank account, it’s hard to tell ourselves that we have a lot of it. If we focus on all other areas of our life in which we feel abundant; friends, family, love, support, our feelings of gratitude for those things will create abundance everywhere else over time, with practice.

As we practice gratitude, we also inspire it in others, and our kids can inspire the world around them with their attitude of being grateful. Trust in the process of life and trust in the Universe is also reinforced when our kids learn to be grateful, as practice in any process helps us create this trust. Learning the art of being grateful will also strengthen how much abundance they already have in their lives.

You can start teaching your kids gratitude and create an attitude of abundance by:

 ~Demonstrating you are grateful for the blessings in your own life.

~Practicing prayers of gratitude as a daily family ritual.

~Encouraging them to identify what they are grateful for. You can make it a game and take turns telling each other.

~ Helping them recognize their mood can be elevated when they are feeling grateful and the end result will be the uplifting of others.

~Making them aware that their power of focus is greatly improved when they deliberately choose gratitude.

There are so many ways we can use gratefulness to enhance what we live and to create more of what we want. It’s amazing when we see the ripple effect of what we are emanating. Gratitude creates Abundance.

Please feel free to comment.

© 2014.  Sharon Ballantine.  All Rights Reserved.

 

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