Our own wellbeing and the wellbeing of our children is generally a top priority in each parent’s life. We want to feel like our lives are filled with joy and we want our children to be joyous. However, we cannot feel joy and inspire it in our children if we spend time being fearful. As parents, we must first live what we hope to inspire in them. Don’t we want to inspire safety, trust and wellbeing?
What do we fear in regard to our kids? We may fear for their safety, choices in friends, their health, school performance etc. Fearing for our kids will never serve us, or them.
Each of us can move away from fear by learning to trust our life process and have faith regarding how things will turn out for us and for our kids as well. One way we can do this is by practicing habits of thought that serve us, or in other words, feel good. Are we allowing our wellbeing or are we sabotaging it by indulging in these fearful thoughts and expecting the worst? Our expectations will determine what we experience, so we want to learn to expect that all is well with our children and us.
We have a choice in what we give energy to in our thoughts, and a choice in redirecting these thoughts when fear seeps in. An example of how to redirect our thoughts might be this: Your teen is late coming home from school, you don’t know where they are, and they have your car. They are rarely late and aren’t answering their cell phone.
It may be our natural inclination to default to worry, imagining the worst and getting worked up and stressed out. These thoughts will never serve us as we have no control over the outcome of the situation with our teen, and we are ruining our sense of wellbeing as well. They will arrive home to a freaked out parent that won’t be inspiring faith and trust. Chances are, we will be reactive as soon as they walk through the door.
As soon as we notice that our thoughts are going in an unwanted direction, it’s important to stop this momentum by finding thoughts that soothe us. We might say to ourselves, “ I trust that my teen is fine and will be coming home soon.” Say this over and over if necessary and gently keep any thoughts that don’t feel good at bay.
It’s important to not push against any fear we are experiencing, but to acknowledge it and release it. This is done with intent and by redirecting our focus.
We can never control the outcome where another person is concerned, but our thoughts will affect how we experience it.
When we practice wellbeing we move away from fear. Let’s teach our children trust and the practice of being in control of their essential and life-affirming sense of wellbeing.
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© 2014. Sharon Ballantine. All Rights Reserved