Beliefnet
Parenting on Purpose

 

Bigstock Photos

Bigstock Photos

As parents, you probably want your kids to have everything. This may mean you want them to be happy, safe, and healthy to name a few things. You love your kids and you want them to feel fulfilled as well. When it comes to what your kids want for themselves their list will probably include the latest toys, gadgets, clothes and electronics. Most of their friends after all, have everything. At least they want you to believe this.

How do you decide when to buy what for your children? Is it every time they ask for something? Is it dependent on their behavior? Is it when you feel abundant or when they have met a criteria you have established?

In talking with parents, some of the concerns they voiced about buying their kids whatever they wanted included:

~ The fear their children would become spoiled and not appreciate what they have.

~ Their kids may adopt an attitude of entitlement and expect to be given everything they’ve asked for.

~ They may become frivolous and resist wanting to earn their own money to buy things for themselves.

Following your Internal Guidance System is the easiest and most productive way to choose your purchasing behavior for your kids. This involves paying close attention to how you feel when you do or don’t get them what they want. Also, about how you feel about what you want them to learn in the long term. You have to feel good about whatever behavior you choose or it won’t serve you. If something isn’t serving you it certainly won’t serve or inspire your children.

~How do you feel when you buy your kids what they have asked for? You may feel really happy to have contributed to their abundance and happiness.

~You may also feel coerced into buying them what they want because all their friends have it and you think they’ll feel bad to not have these things.

~ How do you feel saying no to them?

When raising my three children I used my IGS everyday in determining what to buy and when for my kids. My personal criteria were simple and based on how I felt, and also what I wanted my kids to learn in the long term. Because my kids observed and lived a certain amount of abundance in their lives, I wanted them to learn a deep appreciation for everything they had. I wanted them to have everything they wanted but also learn that acquiring “things” is not the basis of happiness.

Depending on their ages, doing chores or jobs and learning to save for what they wanted also served this purpose. I most especially did not want my kids to have an attitude of entitlement. It became a playful joke in the family that if they wanted something it had to be put on their birthday or Christmas list. They could not assume they would have it immediately unless it was an item of necessity.

Did my kids get what they wanted? Mostly, but it was a process in patience, appreciation and learning.

It is important to choose for yourself what to buy for your kids and when. By using your IGS you will be able to parent from alignment, which is when you feel good.

This will be your highest place of being the kind of parent you want to be.

Please feel free to comment.

© 2014.  Sharon Ballantine.  All Rights Reserved.

 

 

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