Parenting on Purpose

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Bigstock Photos

Many people have strong fears based on experiences that have happened in their lives. You can be aware of your fears and understand that these fears are totally irrational, while still having them. Naturally, you don’t want to pass these emotions on to your children; so, you work hard at hiding these fears from your kids.

Unfortunately, this isn’t always effective. Your kids are very sensitive to your vibration and you can pass on your fears without even realizing it. Sometimes your kids will mirror the exact same fear that you have, and in other cases, they may just feel your energy. This can lead to different issues that cause them undue stress and anxiety.

For example, I knew a woman who was very afraid of water. She had a traumatic event in her own childhood where she nearly drowned. She never learned to swim and over the years this fear became quite debilitating.

When she became a mother herself, she recognized that this fear was holding her back, and she didn’t want to saddle her daughter with a fear that would keep her from experiencing joy. Yet, the fear was there. Despite suggestions that she get her daughter in the pool as soon as possible, she could not let go of her own fear.

It was several years before she enrolled her daughter in swimming lessons with a trusted instructor. Even though the mother never verbally told her daughter of her experience or her fear, she sent very strong non-verbal and energetic cues to the youngster. By this time, the child had developed an even greater fear of the water than her mother.
The instructor had one rule for the mother: she was not allowed on the pool deck while her daughter was having her lessons. By physically separating the two, the girl was immersed in positive energy from the instructor without experiencing the conflicting energy from her mother.

Even then, it took a long time and a lot of patience in order to eliminate the fear of water that her daughter was experiencing, too. Eventually, the girl not only got over her fear, but she genuinely enjoyed playing in the pool with friends. She even became an excellent competitive swimmer.

One of the most important elements of the daughter’s success was a shift in energy. The daughter was exposed to a lot of positive energy over time. Of course the mother retained her fearful energy, which stretched out the process, but eventually, she even became more comfortable as she saw her daughter was safe and having fun.

Rather than passing on your fears, you can take a lesson from this swim instructor. Of course it’s wonderful when you can get over your own fears; wonderful for yourself and for your children, but sometimes that seems impossible, as it was for the mother in the example.

Whenever you feel fear sneaking up on you, these exercises may be helpful:

* Take nice, deep breaths, and visualize a simple balance scale. Imagine placing your fear on one side of the scale, and watch how the tray falls.

* Think about things that fill you with joy and positive energy. Whether it’s the sound of your child’s laughter, a good book, rainbows, etc., place those items on the other side of the scale.

* Keep adding more and more positive thoughts to the scale and soon the fear side seems to weigh nothing at all.
This is a practice in positive visualization and intent.

Practice this exercise often and you will be amazed at how much more relaxed both you and your children are.

Next, consciously surround yourself and your children with as much positive energy as possible. Perhaps you do this through playing, uplifting music, or by actively engaging in some of the things you visualized placing on the positive side of the scale.

The more often your children experience this positive energy, the more it outweighs your personal fear energy, and your children will be uplifted as a result. They will be free of your fears and anxieties, which will help them to grow into happy, healthy adults.

Your comments are welcome.
© 2014. Sharon Ballantine. All Rights Reserved.


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