Beliefnet
Parenting on Purpose

Little girl looking into a telescope in the mountainsIt is essential that as a parent, you remember that your children are not miniature versions of you — even though it may seem like it sometimes. While they mirror many of your traits, your children are still their own unique beings with unique perspectives, ideas, and desires.

It can be easier when your kids appear to want to do the things that you enjoy. It might even feel flattering that they want to be like you. Certainly some children will absolutely want to be like their mother or father. For some, it may only last while they’re very young. Other kids will continue to follow in your footsteps throughout school and some may even choose the same career path.

While this is great if it’s within your son or daughter’s natural inclination, you may need to make an effort to encourage them to take their own paths rather than encourage them to follow in your footsteps if they are resisting it. If it is truly in their hearts to be doctors, lawyers, or circus performers like their Mom or Dad, they will make this conscious decision on their own.

The biggest benefit for kids and parents alike is that is if they do take after their parents, they have done so on their own terms. Some great family business partnerships are achieved between the parent and adult children this way.

If you assume or insist your children will want to take over the family business, then you may not be allowing them to follow what fuels their spirits. Of course, it may be disappointing to you if your child wants no part in the family dynasty.

However, when you focus on letting your kids listen to their Internal Guidance System to select their career paths, school choices, or even their clothing, you’re creating a more important dynasty. You’re creating a family filled with happy, successful individuals leading lives that speak to them.

At times, your kids may try to test your resolve to let them determine what classes they should take or what career path they should follow. There may be moments when it seems they want you to make the decisions for them. They may even actually ask you to choose for them.

In the moment, it may seem easier to both of you to just take over, but your job as parents is to give your kids wings and the tools to learn how to fly on their own.
This includes sometimes making difficult choices, so in the event that your kids try to push your button by making a choice they believe you won’t approve of or want you to manage their life choices, don’t give in. Take the opportunity to coach your kids to check in with their IGS to get the answer.

How often have you at some point in your life, wondered about what you’re meant to be doing? After all, this is one of life’s most fundamental questions:
“What is my purpose?”

By encouraging your kids to try different things, to follow their hearts rather than expectations, you’re less apt to hear this question come from their lips. That’s a dynasty anyone can live with.

Your comments are welcome.

© 2014.  Sharon Ballantine.  All Rights Reserved.

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