Parenting on Purpose

Parenting on Purpose


Parenting Tips:Teaching Children To Be Selfish

posted by srballantine

cartoon_kidsIt is important that you teach your children to be selfish. On the surface, this goes against what so many people believe you should be teaching your kids. You still want them to care about others, to be giving, and to share with others, right? So why would you want to teach your children to be selfish?

First, consider how you feel about the word “selfish.” The word has negative connotations to it because you’ve been taught to define it so narrowly. You’ve been taught that it’s more important to place your emphasis and intention on things outside yourself than to consider what is going on inside your own spirit.

When you turn your focus outward, you rely on others to feel good about yourself. Until you learn to turn your focus inward, you can never feel good about yourself regardless of what others are saying about you. You will never be enough, because there will always be someone that is displeased with what you have done or have not done.

When you turn your energy inward, you are being truly “selfish.” When you are truly selfish, you are able to feel good about yourself regardless of the opinions of others. The paradox in this is by focusing on your own needs first; you are able to actually help others more than if you focus on their needs without regarding your own.

If you give all of your energy to others and do not replace it with something that fuels you, then you become depleted and have no more to give.

You can explain this to your children by using a simple glass of water as a visual aid. Everyone knows that our bodies need water to survive and if you give away all your water, then you will dry up and die. On the other hand, if you drink from the glass, you are fresh and vibrant, which gives you the energy and mental clarity to refill the glass to share with others.

Everyone wants their lives to have meaning and purpose. You want to help others and enhance other lives as well as your own. This can only be accomplished by practicing selfishness and putting yourself first. You need to get into alignment with what gives you joy, energy, and inspiration.

When you tap into your internal guidance, you will learn what it is that fuels you. It is your job as a parent to help your children discover this. To do this, you need to demonstrate the practice yourself. If you never take time for yourself, then this is what your children will learn. No matter what words you use, they will model your behavior.

Do you already know what brings you joy? If you do, that’s great — place energy on that every day, even if it is just for a few moments.

When you’re sure what brings you joy, tap into your Internal Guidance System and let it help direct you. How you feel is your indicator. Go for the best feelings you can create. Take time to play and to put yourself first. This refueling is essential so you have the energy and joy to help others, including your children.

You can teach your children to tap into their own IGS to discover what pleases them. Give them the freedom to selfishly explore new territory and have new experiences. By flowing with what feels good and energizes them, your children will grow to become the adults they are meant to be, with the skills and joy to share with others.

Please feel free to comment!

© 2014.  Sharon Ballantine.  All Rights Reserved.

 

 



Previous Posts

The Importance of Eye Contact With Kids
How many times have you most probably said to our kids, “look at me when I’m talking to you?” Why do you suppose you say this? Maybe you want to know they are hearing and paying attention to what you’re

posted 7:53:44pm Aug. 23, 2014 | read full post »

Back To School Help For Reducing Stress
  Kids today suffer far more stress and burn out than you did when you were their age. While no life is completely stress-free, too much stress is as damaging to your kids as it is to you. When your kids are stressed, it’s hard for your life to be peaceful as well. Stress is part of you

posted 2:04:40pm Aug. 20, 2014 | read full post »

Helping Children Through Sadness
    There are times in life when you’re faced with sadness. It happens to everyone. Children are certainly not immune from experiencing unhappy events. As a parent, you can help your children c

posted 2:20:46pm Aug. 16, 2014 | read full post »

Helping Kids Know Why They Do Things
Each of us spends our lives doing things that start from our place of being motivated. We create things that enhance us, do menial tasks that structure our lives and everything in between. But are we moving through life in a deliberate way that is helping meet our goals? Are we following others or f

posted 9:56:16pm Aug. 12, 2014 | read full post »

Guiding As Opposed To Pushing Your Kids
  As a parent, you want what is best for your children. Even before they’re born, most people have some preconceived notions of what their children’s lives will be like. You may speculate about thei

posted 11:39:38pm Aug. 09, 2014 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.