Parenting on Purpose

Parenting on Purpose


Parenting Tips:Teaching Children To Be Selfish

posted by srballantine

cartoon_kidsIt is important that you teach your children to be selfish. On the surface, this goes against what so many people believe you should be teaching your kids. You still want them to care about others, to be giving, and to share with others, right? So why would you want to teach your children to be selfish?

First, consider how you feel about the word “selfish.” The word has negative connotations to it because you’ve been taught to define it so narrowly. You’ve been taught that it’s more important to place your emphasis and intention on things outside yourself than to consider what is going on inside your own spirit.

When you turn your focus outward, you rely on others to feel good about yourself. Until you learn to turn your focus inward, you can never feel good about yourself regardless of what others are saying about you. You will never be enough, because there will always be someone that is displeased with what you have done or have not done.

When you turn your energy inward, you are being truly “selfish.” When you are truly selfish, you are able to feel good about yourself regardless of the opinions of others. The paradox in this is by focusing on your own needs first; you are able to actually help others more than if you focus on their needs without regarding your own.

If you give all of your energy to others and do not replace it with something that fuels you, then you become depleted and have no more to give.

You can explain this to your children by using a simple glass of water as a visual aid. Everyone knows that our bodies need water to survive and if you give away all your water, then you will dry up and die. On the other hand, if you drink from the glass, you are fresh and vibrant, which gives you the energy and mental clarity to refill the glass to share with others.

Everyone wants their lives to have meaning and purpose. You want to help others and enhance other lives as well as your own. This can only be accomplished by practicing selfishness and putting yourself first. You need to get into alignment with what gives you joy, energy, and inspiration.

When you tap into your internal guidance, you will learn what it is that fuels you. It is your job as a parent to help your children discover this. To do this, you need to demonstrate the practice yourself. If you never take time for yourself, then this is what your children will learn. No matter what words you use, they will model your behavior.

Do you already know what brings you joy? If you do, that’s great — place energy on that every day, even if it is just for a few moments.

When you’re sure what brings you joy, tap into your Internal Guidance System and let it help direct you. How you feel is your indicator. Go for the best feelings you can create. Take time to play and to put yourself first. This refueling is essential so you have the energy and joy to help others, including your children.

You can teach your children to tap into their own IGS to discover what pleases them. Give them the freedom to selfishly explore new territory and have new experiences. By flowing with what feels good and energizes them, your children will grow to become the adults they are meant to be, with the skills and joy to share with others.

Please feel free to comment!

© 2014.  Sharon Ballantine.  All Rights Reserved.

 

 



Previous Posts

Where Did This Child Come From?
Often when you look at your children, you can easily see yourself or your spouse in their little faces. Maybe your son has his father’s eyes or your daughter has her mother’s smile. Sometimes the daughter wi

posted 4:03:26pm Nov. 22, 2014 | read full post »

How To Soothe Kids From Scary Dreams
  The dreams we have when we sleep are a natural part of who we are and how we live our lives. They may represent our hopes and dreams or our worst fears, which we may not even be consciously aware of.

posted 1:52:33pm Nov. 18, 2014 | read full post »

Mom Alert~ Putting Yourself First
Mothers can often put everyone else’s needs before their own. They make sure that all the kids are ready for school, delivered to their extra-curricular activities, have healthy meals, are listened to and feel

posted 4:13:10pm Nov. 15, 2014 | read full post »

Your Kids And Swearing
  Depending on your frame of reference, swearing in front of your kids and allowing them to swear is generally ok or it’s definitely not ok. And this may depend on what age they are. What does it mean

posted 2:35:33pm Nov. 11, 2014 | read full post »

Kids And What Motivates Their Learning
When you were going to school, did you cram before every test? If you did, you probably reread the chapters and notes in hopes that you would remember for the test. And often you did, but where's all that inform

posted 3:03:27pm Nov. 08, 2014 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.